Armed, Angry, and Acne-Prone
Miller, Matthew
Armed, Angry, and Acne-Prone No one ever said cutting the deficit wasgonna bepretty. . . . by Matthew Miller 12:48 p.m., Tuesday, October 13 “We interrupt this program for an ABC News...
...Governor, what’s your take on these demands?“ “Roger, I call for the immediate use of all necessary force, including air strikes and ground troops, to end this crisis and restore order...
...Reaching out for love in spite of the budget that divides them...
...A split-screen special...
...Noon, Wednes-y, October 14 “. . . and so to our demands: First, starting tomorroL and continuing indefinitely, we want every network evening news to devote half of each broadcast to el plaining the deficit and options for fixing it...
...Back now in our studio to talk with Norman Ornstein...
...With only three weeks to go, the president has a golden opportunity to call in troops to crush this rebellion...
...Brit?’ “Peter, the trouble began during a youth leadership conference at which Darman and Reich spoke today...
...Let’s turn now to President Bush in Kennebunkport...
...The others look at each other...
...The group looks grimly at their leader...
...You arid the boys get over here rig1 away...
...We wai’ed Koppel to run a nightly show on the debt, as he did vith the Iranian hostage crisis...
...They find the hostages in the living room of the suite...
...Here’s ABC’s Forrest Sawyer.’’ “Ted, glance at the Prudential toteboard and you’ll see that the national debt rose by another billion dollars today, to $4.02 trillion...
...The man who took them left that note,” Darman says, pointing with a still-greasy finger to an envelope on the coffee table...
...Launch the rescue at noon on Thursday...
...But because the media never caught on to this simple math, we’ve been able to fudge it with rhetoric for years...
...Toddlers, repeating what they have learned, ask their parents why interest payments now edge out defense as the federal government’s largest expenseand why 70 percent of the money we borrow will go for interest on debt already piled up, just like thirdworlddebtor style...
...Darman: “Republicans who squawk about ‘big spending’ are ready to cut everythmg except the only programs big enough to bring us into balance...
...Thanks, Brit...
...Mark?’ “These kids have handed Bush a real election-eve gift...
...u r s ~ , oya,o ber 1s Later that night News presidents from the three networks and CNN huddle in an emergency meeting in New York...
...OK,” says the president...
...The media never gets it, and the charade continues...
...BI we simply don’t have coritingency plans for young buc get vigilantes...
...The message ends...
...The camera reveals two expensively dressed, well-groomed hostages seated behind a long table, like co-anchormen...
...Let’s go now to Roger Mudd, who has the two candidates standing by...
...It’s 3:18 a.m...
...OUTRAGE says the group will kill Darman and Reich if their deficit-related demands aren’t met in full...
...Valiant seniors stand watch with shotguns on putting greens across the state...
...Reich: “This campaign season we’ve dreamt up even more sophisticated ways to lie...
...It could backfire though, be:awe Darman in particular is not liked by the press...
...Kinda makes you woozy, doesn’t it...
...Roger, when that phone rings late at night at the White House, the person who answers it better be thinking about more than just killing off inconvenient subordinates...
...A group calling itself Overindebted Underage Terrorists for Radical Approaches to Generational Equity-OUTRAGE-is taking credit for the kidnapping...
...And I’m Bob Reich...
...Let’s put a real plan on the table-one that’ll make Perot’s deficit-reduction strategy look wussy...
...12: 1s p.m., Thursday, October 22 The commandos kick down the sealed bedroom door and let loose a hail of bullets...
...Right now we’re going to take you live to the Pentagon for a press conference with Colin Matthew Miller just completed a White House Fellowship...
...by Matthew Miller 12:48 p.m., Tuesday, October 13 “We interrupt this program for an ABC News special report...
...generation’s smaller workforce will double in just over a decade to honor the generous retirement benefits we’ve voted to give our retirees.’ ” “Can we check this stuff out with our own people...
...There is one handwritten line: “George-You didn’t think I’d let these young heroes fall into your hands after they saved the country, did you...
...Bush repeatedly has pledged never to touch Social Security or budge an inch more on defense...
...another...
...Those OUTRAGE kids aren’t bad looking...
...How long do you think we could drag this thing The four men smile and exlend their hands to one out...
...Bo- ring .” “Wait-maybe there’s an angle here,” says Arledge...
...You’ve been around the block a few times...
...The president and his defense secretary wait for the room to clear out...
...What can we expect?’ “Budget-related terrorism has traditionally been low priority for us, Peter...
...I could see Diane being blindfolded and taken in to interview a kid while Sam does the parents in their Park Avenue duplex...
...chard Darman and Robert Reich are munching room-service sandwiches...
...Tom,” says the familiar Texas drawl...
...General, I understand the White House has aske that the military be put on1 alert...
...Sir, some conservative strategists are saying YOU should take this opportunity to dump Richard Darman, or at least unleash a massive rescue assault that assures him martyrdom as a face-saving exit...
...Naturally we’d prefer to let that happen on someone else’s watch...
...I’ll bet it does a 30 share...
...Hearing this, Bush immediately summons Teeter and other top aides...
...Our news division doesn’t know squeeze about economics or budget issues.’’ “Same with us,” says Roone Arledge of ABC...
...Back to you, Ted...
...Payroll taxes on the younger “I’m Dick Darman...
...That was true for a brief time, but not today...
...Candor like that doesn’t come easy to seasoned pros...
...1 1 :30 “I’m Ted KoPPel, and this . . . is ‘Nightline.’ Tonight, on day three of ‘Debt in America: Bankrupting Our Children,’ we’ll bring YOU a world exclusive --the first statement from hostages Richard Darman and Robert Reich...
...According to one woman who escaped the early gunfire unharmed, the two advisers had just agreed that, though the deficit really is the biggest problem the country faces, it couldn’t be honestly discussed in the campaign because the American people aren’t ready for the hard choices required to fix it...
...I just hope that for once the liberal media acts responsibly and ignores this cheap attempt to expose people to budget realities that Barbara and I think American families will find obscene...
...Let me say, however, that I do understand and agree with those who say negotiations could bring a breakthrough and avoid a senseless loss of life...
...Later that night Tom Luce rubs his eyes, fumbles for the phone, an squints at the digital clock...
...asks Tom Johnson of CNN...
...I’ve bee talking with Paul...
...Another youth group chains the executive directors of the American Association of Retired People and the National Committee to Preserve Social Security to the giant national debt clock on the White House lawn...
...Despite the myth of the low-tax Reagan years, subsequent tax hikes agreed to by both parties+specially on the regressive payroll tax-have the federal government taking about 19 percent of the GNP in taxes today, the same amount it claimed in 1980...
...Next year interest payments alone will rise by 10 times the amount it would take: to fully fund Head Start, which the government says we still can’t afford...
...It’s a great deal for everyone-unless you’re planning to live past the year 2000...
...However, army intelligenc has accessed information showing that, yes, the goven ment has dumped trillions in debt and unpaid promist on the next generation that may well have doomed the standard of living and condemned them to spend the lives servicing debts that paid for our consumption...
...Ted: “The joint statement appears to be over...
...A few montk earlier the Dallas lawyer might have expected a state pf tition organizer ringing f’or more instructions...
...We’re screwing our children big time...
...It’s that simple...
...Proceed with Operation Antcrusher as planned...
...Reich: “Democrats love to gnpe that the Reagan tax cuts of the early eighties caused the yawning budget gap we’re plagued by now...
...The commanding officer rips open the envelope...
...We can’t run this stuff,” says NBC’s Michael Gartner...
...Finishing lunch,” Reich says...
...Standing by live at the Marriott is ABC’s Brit Hume...
...The MacNeiULehrer Vews Hour wastes no ime in unleashing its Eavorite pundits, David Sergen and Mark S heilds...
...Finally, we denand that legislation ;ranting instant voter egistration for all 18o 30-year-olds be )assed within three lays, along with an aplropriation for a $1,000 cash payment hat these young peo)le will be eligible to :ollect at the polls in hree weeks if they iote...
...Listen to this...
...I’ll unveil the new deficit plan the same day, and we’ll ride the wave of Strength and Responsibility into the election...
...No prisoners...
...That’s true enough...
...Approximately 20 minutes ago at the downtown Marriott Hotel, Richard Darman, the president’s budget director, and Robert Reich, one of Bill Clinton’s senior economic advisers, were taken hostage at gunpoint...
...After watching nonviolent attempts to reduce the deficit fail for years, America’s children have taken matters into their own hands...
...If these conditions ire not met, make no nistake: Richard Darnan and Robert Reich nil1 die...
...The elderly groups will be on us like a cheap truss...
...A phalanx of other teens sealed the room after evacuating bystanders and clubbing two secret service men unconscious...
...Let’s listen in...
...63 percent of Americans view a desire to means-test entitlements as the threshold test of a candidate’s character...
...Turning to the window, the troops see a chopper, already half a mile away, with the words “Perot Systems” gleaming in the sun...
...1:30 p.m., Tuesday, October 20 A copycat group calling itself TWISTED-Teens With Insufficient Savings To Everpayallthis Debttakes George Mitchell and Bob Dole hostage...
...It’s quite possible that a lumber of network executives would let Darman rather than risk their ratings...
...But before he do, let’s check in on the Bankruptcy Watch...
...What’s that all mean...
...Darman: “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Bob, because we Republicans also have fancy ways to bugger the kids this year...
...President,” Teeter says flatly, “this election will turn on who’s got the most credible deficit reduction plan...
...We could run a promotional tie-in around whether viewers have learned the budget factoids,” says Eric Ober of CBS...
...Still, Bob Teeter’s numbers, if true, are the biggest surprise: 18- to 30-year-olds would be the swing vote in every key state in the coming election...
...Powell, chairman of the joint chiefs of staff...
...But wil the campaign over, only one person could be calling th late...
...During all other hours, the bottom of every channel nust feature a digital ‘National Debt Clock’ showing he spiraling total and the per-household share...
...What do you make of it?’ “Painful to watch, Ted...
...We hold budget summits each year striking sham deals that defer urgent investments while saddling our kids with fresh mountains of debt...
...What do you plan to do...
...Never leave the brave behind...
...All right, gentlemen,” Bush says at length...
...The National Guard is called out in Florida to provide perimeter defense of condo communities from Boca Raton to Miami...
...Large coreboard-style verions of these debt locks must also be rung in every congresional office, as well as n the Oval Office and )n the White House awn...
...What’s the latest intelligence?’ “That Rudman-Tsongas group, the Concord Coalition, has ‘been funnelling arms to OUTRAGE, TWISTED, and several splinter groups we’re tracking...
...Get real...
...Contrary to popular myth,’ ” he reads from OUTRAGE’S fact sheet, “ ‘Social Security beneficiaries get back between two and five times what they paid in to the system while they worked...
...At this rate we’ll add about $400 billion in new debt this year, which means interest PaYmen1.s next Year Will increase by about $30 billion...
...We’ve got another irescue to mount...
...Stay here a minute, Dick...
...So we won’t raise a peep about controlling the benefit side now-though with $15 billion a year going to households with incomes over $100,000, there are plenty of ways to save...
...That means that the average American household is now on the hook for nearly $43,00o-more than its net worth...
...He’ll be known as the guy who kept the world safe for debt as we know it...
...We say you don’t have to cap Social Security, just Medicare and other health-related entitlements, because they’re the ones that are really growing so fast...
...We go live now to the Marriott, where the hostages are about to get their first chance to speak...
...And some of them are from ritzy families...
...Together: “And for years both our parties have lied about how we got into this deficit mess and what it’ll take to get out of it...
...The screen goes black for a second...
...His aides bolt into action and scurry from the room, but not before Bush calls out for one of them...
...Good afternoon...
...Roger?’ “1’11 be speaking first to Bill Clinton, who joins us from Chicago...
...But Social Security is heading toward bankruptcy within the decade, unless it’s bailed out by huge tax hikes on our kids...
...From Washington, here’s Peter Jennings...
...Our explosively growing entitlement benefits now make up 45 percent of the budget-which works out to a whopping 60 percent of what’s le,R over if you take out interest and deposit insurance payments, 011 which we simply can’t default...
...Democrats are saying it’s okay to borrow as long as you spend the money on long-term investments, like infrastructure, R&D, and education...
...Well, these kids have picked an interesting tactic by demanding better coverage and education from the media,” Gergen says...
...Suddenly an Uzi-toting 15year-old sent a burst of fire flying by Darman’s head...
...We await details on OUTRAGE’S demands...
...We’ve been told the teenagers have locked Reich and Darman in a small closet...
...This statement was obviously made under duress...
...Any concern that this may not prove to be an isola ed incident?’ “We’re advising citizens, especially well-off socii security recipients, to stay indoors as much as possible...
...Together: “What’s the upshot...
...You just missed the kids...
...But no one’s yet noticed that while the Clinton plan calls for $200 billion in new investment over four years, it adds a nifty $1.1 trillion in new debt...
...Meanwhile the television keeps blasting budget facts...
...In addition, we insist that luring prime-time hours, all channels display a series of iudget facts along the bottom third of the screen...
Vol. 24 • October 1992 • No. 10
