How To Make a Prime Minister Paranoid
Jay, Jonathan Lynn and Antony
How To Make a Prime Minister Paranoid A page from the bureaucrats' playbook by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay Several years ago, Yes, Minister, a British book and television series, presented a...
...I'm supposed to be the only one with a following in the Cabinet...
...He shook his head...
...We must have a further meeting about this, with time allotted for a full discussion ." A reasonable request...
...I asked...
...I gave him my full attention...
...I asked hopefully...
...He told me that you can't just move hundreds of thousands of men around the country like that...
...These are just isolated examples," replied Humphrey unconvincingly...
...The Defense Secretary hasn't seen it yet" He passed it over the desk...
...The rest of the Committee agreed with me again...
...Alan said that this was logically inevitable, since there is nothing to spend it on in the north...
...I don't want to lose him from the Cabinet...
...That's why I shouldn't be showing it to you...
...I was curious...
...I shook my head...
...Tomorrow I'll question Humphrey about this further...
...He obliged...
...So were Max' and Dudley' and several others...
...He remarked indignantly that chaps like him and me might have to move up there...
...To my surprise, Sir Humphrey had remained behind...
...I looked up...
...I would have thought all your Cabinet were loyal ." Sometimes I am amazed at how trusting and naive Humphrey reveals himself to be...
...Perhaps you should have a word with him yourself," I said...
...The public," I commented, "has a right to know this" Humphrey shook his head...
...Today, first thing, I went through copies of Dudley's six most recent speeches...
...Humphrey intervened...
...I asked...
...Part One pointed out that many of the "valuable" army buildings that Dudley quoted cannot be sold...
...Isn't he...
...The defense of the realm is in question...
...Why," I asked eventually, "should people be talking about a next Prime Minister...
...Two days ago a story appeared in several newspapers, attributed to various nonattributable sources, effectively torpedoing Dudley's plan...
...Hacker remained in the shadows...
...And Neil commented carefully that it was rather a big move...
...Furthermore, as I could see civil war between the two departments looming here, I indicated that all work on the proposal was done by the Employment Secretary's political advisers...
...He said no, of course not, but at least the MOD didn't have to do any more thinking about it...
...He expressed surprise that Dudley is plotting against me...
...I told my secretary to send for the Chief Whip right away...
...He nodded...
...The public," I commented, "has a right to know this" Humphrey shook his head...
...But he is a good chap," insisted Humphrey...
...It's just that people are beginning to talk about him as the next Prime Minister...
...How few people realize what the word loyalty means when spoken by a Cabinet minister...
...I don't see why not...
...And then, in Part Three, which I read in bed tonight, there are pages and pages of objections on grounds of military strategy...
...As I suspected, and feared, there was nothing in them by way of a personal tribute to me...
...I hesitated...
...It makes money...
...2. No schools...
...No, Prime Minister, you didn't ." "Indeed not, Bernard," I replied stiffly...
...How are things going, Chief Whip...
...he hesitated...
...It is fascinating...
...Humphrey was evasive...
...It's quite a problem ." I began to feel impatient with Max...
...Technically I shouldn't show you this...
...The question is not whether there is a plot (which, so far as I know, there is not) but whether the Prime Minister can be made to believe there is...
...It is a disloyal, ungrateful, and treacherous plot, and I will not tolerate it...
...I couldn't see how he could...
...July 11th I am now convinced that a dirty little scheme has been hatched behind my back...
...the possibilities are immense, limitless...
...I was impatient with these arguments...
...After he left, Bernard Woolley, the First Secretary, who sometimes lacks subtlety, turned to me...
...Nonetheless, Prime Minister," he said, "I am the responsible minister and this can't be decided till I've done my feasibility study...
...We will make the strategic arguments For The Prime Minister's Eyes Only, which certainly means that they will not be subject to expert scrutiny...
...Geoffrey was late...
...And I'm also fortunate to have someone like Humphrey as my Cabinet Secretary, someone who doesn't shrink from letting me know the truth, even if it is a little upsetting...
...How far has it got...
...That's why I shouldn't be showing it to you...
...I asked for a list of reasons...
...he hesitated...
...Not that popular, is he...
...At least, I think I certainly would...
...It should be child's play to suggest to the Prime Minister that the Employment Secretary is plotting against him...
...Straight back from the Center Court he came to me with a fascinating proposal...
...He conceded that some servicemen could be stationed permanently in the north of England: other ranks perhaps, junior officers possibly...
...And we were in luck...
...I discussed the matter with Humphrey today...
...In short, he argued that civilization generally would be completely remote...
...I pointed out to Alan that we should all stay quite calm, and that we were only dealing with a relocation proposal, not a Russian invasion...
...Humphrey felt that such an eventuality was not beyond the bounds of possiblity...
...the Prime Minister wanted to know...
...Is he...
...Brian said: "Well, I don't really know much about it, but it sounds like a bit of an upheaval ." He's right on both counts...
...Isn't he...
...Hacker wanted to see me right away...
...I had no idea...
...I decided against showing him the dictionary, and enquired if there are any strategic arguments against it...
...But I'm not sure...
...Part Two showed that the move would create massive unemployment in the Home Counties and East Anglia, with far fewer new jobs created in the northeast than would be lost in the south...
...Top priority...
...Of course they didn't...
...Max spoke first...
...I thought that's what you did with armies...
...I leaned back in my chair and smiled benevolently...
...He was bound to be against it...
...4. Nor is Wimbledon...
...Does he...
...Does he...
...This argument won't wash with the PM, who is concerned about jobs in the north, whereas the troops who have joined up in the north are spending all their money in the south where they now are...
...We agreed that we would defer discussion of the plan until an unspecified future date and that meanwhile Sir Humphrey would attend to the plumbing...
...Nobody else spoke...
...And with the grass roots, I'm told," Humphrey added...
...He insisted that these were objective reasons...
...I'm simply trying to furnish you with the appropriate questions...
...Naturally I thought I'd done something to upset him...
...So it was with some caution that I entered the Cabinet Room...
...Hear hear...
...It's all right for Humphrey to be sure...
...The Royal Air Force is in Aldershot...
...What, I wondered, had I missed...
...In view of the presence of one or two junior MOD officials at the meeting, I expressed appropriate horror at Field Marshal Howard's notion that humble civil servants should presume to try and remove a member of Her Majesty's Government from the Cabinet...
...Hacker sat in the shadows...
...I told Annie about it, and she said airily that she's sure there's nothing to worry about...
...Sir Humphrey responded snootily to this suggestion...
...I'm Prime Minster, aren't I?" "Yes," he explained...
...Or privatize the army...
...It's lucky I'm not paranoid...
...Humphrey felt that such an eventuality was not beyond the bounds of possiblity...
...It's a Minister of Defense draft internal paper...
...It sounds a feeble argument to me...
...Not at this stage...
...Why didn't I think of it...
...After all, Prime Minister, there may not be anything to it ." The Prime Minister stood up...
...I tried to explain to him that it was a perfectly reasonable plan, seen from the Prime Minister's point of view...
...Humphrey, a tower of strength as always, offered to help...
...He was waiting for reassurance...
...We told him to drop everything and come right over...
...Jeffrey, I'm not taking any risks," he said quietly...
...July 13th At a meeting with Humphrey first thing this morning I questioned him closely about the Ministry of Defense paper...
...Dudley...
...That is all ." July 18th Everything went like clockwork...
...And there would be hundreds of thousands of acres of highpriced land in the Home Counties to sell too...
...Sit down ." Humphrey sat opposite me but seemed unwilling to say more...
...Are you...
...Alan felt that we were doing quite enough already...
...I made it quite clear, however, that I could not be a party to anything like that, even though it would at least give the public the true facts...
...In fact, I was rather amazed that Humphrey went overboard for him like that...
...I gave it...
...I played safe, avoided giving a direct answer, and told him that I had no real evidence of anything...
...Well, Prime Minister, I know that on the face of it this plan looks as though it might benefit the employment situation in depressed areas...
...It's a top secret document ." I simply stared at him, and waited...
...Top Secret...
...Geoffrey asked if there were any chance of getting rid of him completely...
...Dudley asked: "May I request, Prime Minister, that it be noted in the minutes that the Cabinet Committee was in favor of my plan, save for one member...
...And with the parliamentary party, I understand ." I considered this...
...Even so, Prime Minister, he surely isn't actively plotting against you...
...Did I ask for a leak...
...Alan refused to see it from the Prime Minister's point of view, remarking bitterly that this wretched proposal emanated from the Department of Employment, and defense was none of their bloody business...
...Oh, apart from Dudley, it's a bit early to say...
...This is in any case customary with all defense matters, and is the way in which we have always managed to keep the defense estimates high...
...I only just got here...
...How few people realize what the word loyalty means when spoken by a Cabinet minister...
...He prompted me...
...Not a word ." "That is odd ." "It's more than odd," I remarked...
...Just as long as they don't get too ambitious...
...Dudley Belling, Secretary of State for Employment...
...He spends a hell of a lot of time going round the country making speeches!' "Only as a loyal minister...
...I couldn't say I hadn't...
...After all, if there is a plot I need to know its full potential...
...Yes indeed," mused Humphrey...
...The Dawn of a New Age...
...He said that he would make enquiries...
...I waited...
...I couldn't think of anything in particular, though it was a slightly difficult time with a little unrest on the back benches...
...It only means that his fear of losing his job is stronger than his hope of pinching mine...
...Cabinet for approval...
...Not in so many...
...He said that everything is a matter of interpretation...
...How do I know he's not...
...Jim," I replied with my frank manner, "it would't be right for me to tell you all my suspicions, not unless or until there's something solid to go on ." "But you know who I'm talking about...
...We sell all those expensive buildings in the south and move into cheap ones in the north...
...Even if he does, surely you have no reason to doubt his loyalty...
...Quite," I agreed...
...Field Marshal Sir Geoffrey Howard joined us...
...He said that he hasn't had time to think about it yet, but that strategic arguments can always be found against anything...
...Part One pointed out that many of the "valuable" army buildings that Dudley quoted cannot be sold...
...He was grimly determined...
...I spoke to the Chief Whip...
...This was tricky...
...It could well find its way into the hands of an irresponsible journalist ." "Could it...
...Technically I shouldn't show you this...
...6. And the Henley Regatta...
...Loyal...
...No, what he sees is that if we move two or three hundred thousand servicemen from the south to the north we will create masses of civilian jobs: clerks, suppliers, builders, vehicle maintenance...
...You know, that leaflet you told party headquarters to issue to all MPs and constituencies...
...On the other hand," he continued, "the Service Chiefs are notorious for their indiscretion" "Notorious," I agreed...
...Many of our troops from the north were unemployed, that's why they joined up...
...One could hardly expect them to appreciate the prospect of moving their wives away from Harrods and Wimbledon...
...It is a disloyal, ungrateful, and treacherous plot, and I will not tolerate it...
...This is always a good technique, and the man in question is—and deserves to be—the Employment Secretary, whose dreadful idea this was...
...We reprint this extract from his memoirs.] I had a sudden urgent call from Number Ten...
...Like the question of cost ." He has completely missed the point...
...All Prime Ministers are paranoid, this one more than most...
...I wonder who tells him these things...
...But that's the whole beauty of it, Humphrey...
...Part Two showed that the move would create massive unemployment in the Home Counties and East Anglia, with far fewer new jobs created in the northeast than would be lost in the south...
...Why are you against it, Humphrey...
...July 11th I am now convinced that a dirty little scheme has been hatched behind my back...
...In Whitehall...
...I suppose he's right...
...It was up to me nominally to defend the Employment Secretary's proposal, since the Prime Minister has publicly supported it, so I reiterated that, although the armed forces contain a lot of men from the north, they are not the ones who are unemployed now...
...On the other hand," he continued, "the Service Chiefs are notorious for their indiscretion" "Notorious," I agreed...
...I said as much...
...Humphrey was nodding, eyebrows raised, as if slightly astonished by the extent of Dudley's popularity...
...Brian' , Eric4, and Neil' all looked rather doubtful...
...5. Ditto Ascot...
...Excellent footwork...
...Did I ask for a leak...
...I nodded at Humphrey who made notes...
...in the north...
...That is all ." July 18th Everything went like clockwork...
...How is that possible...
...I spoke with heavy sarcasm...
...So far as I can tell ." I was still being strictly honest...
...The Marines' job is to defend Norway, so we station them in Plymouth...
...I saw my chance...
...He's not trying to build up a personal following or anything, is he...
...One thing I knew for sure—it hadn't got very far or I would certainly have known about it...
...He refused to tell me about them till he had something solid to go on...
...I asked hopefully...
...But he produced some papers from a file on his lap...
...Sometimes being surrounded by yes-men is rather irritating, though it certainly has its compensations...
...When's he going to leak it...
...Is he...
...Is it quite honest and accurate...
...This sort of sacrifice is acceptable to the forces in time of war, but if the move were made in these circumstances, morale would undoubtedly plummet...
...But he produced some papers from a file on his lap...
...I think I can guess," I said...
...Humphrey was evasive...
...Incredible...
...The one member," he remarked stubbornly, "is the member whose department would have to be reorganized...
...Tomorrow I'll question Humphrey about this further...
...So you think the Employment Secretary had done well...
...Eric murmured: "Rather expensive...
...I was shocked...
...Sir Humphrey was present...
...I stopped to think...
...I'm Prime Minster, aren't I?" "Yes," he explained...
...He added one rather telling point: that the whole plan may not be completely unconnected with the fact that Dudley represents a Newcastle constituency...
...But he has them to dinner parties as well...
...And since only someone in an advanced state of paranoia would suspect the Employment Secretary of a plot . . . . Before the meeting broke up we ensured that the minutes reflected our enthusiasm for the Employment Secretary's proposal to relocate substantial numbers of our armed forces, at all levels, to the north of England and Scotland...
...I thought about it for a few moments...
...Apart from . ." The Prime Minister was getting irritable...
...At once...
...However, the strategic arguments might not be sufficient to deflect the Prime Minister from the Employment Secretary's plan...
...Humphrey agreed wholeheartedly that I could not be party to such a leak...
...Yes, he's a good chap...
...Or several irresponsible journalists...
...And he seems to have quite a following in the Cabinet too...
...I regard that as proof positive...
...He was evasive but during the meeting he made it perfectly clear that there is indeed some sort of leadership challenge, either led by Dudley or using Dudley as the figurehead...
...July 2nd Dudley Belling, the Employment Secretary, has clearly been thinking hard during Wimbledon...
...How To Make a Prime Minister Paranoid A page from the bureaucrats' playbook by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay Several years ago, Yes, Minister, a British book and television series, presented a fictionalized account of how the British Civil Service, personified by Sir Humphrey Appleby, manipulated political leaders, personified by James Hacker...
...Is there anything you haven't told me...
...No, Prime Minister, you didn't ." "Indeed not, Bernard," I replied stiffly...
...Sir Humphrey's private notes, recently released, tell a rather different story—Ed.] Meeting today at the MOD with Alan Guthrie, the Permanent Secretary for the Ministry of Defense, and Geoffrey Howard, the Chief of the Defense Staff...
...5Neil Hitchcock, Secretary of State for Transport...
...And there's another 700 isolated examples in this paper...
...Humphrey kept batting on about how the Service Chiefs didn't like the plan...
...My secretary came in and said that Employment had phoned to let us know the we wouldn't be able to get copies of Dudley's speeches till later today or tomorrow...
...He was unable to do so...
...3Brian Smithson, Secretary of State for Environment, 4Eric Jeffries, Chancellor of the Exchequer...
...I smiled at my colleagues...
...I was magnanimous...
...So he can't make a move to stamp it out...
...1. Their wives wouldn't stand for it...
...And I waved the report at him...
...Dudley...
...A leadership challenge...
...I was even more surprised, and asked if we could repel it...
...There are virtually no troops in Britain north of the Midlands...
...He went straight on to the attack, informing me that this proposal must be stopped...
...Well, what are they...
...After all, Prime Minister, there may not be anything to it ." The Prime Minister stood up...
...I discussed the matter with Humphrey today...
...But you asked the minister to take more trouble to communicate with the party in the House" True enough...
...I wanted to know more...
...I called Humphrey in for a confidential word...
...7. Not to mention the Army and Navy Club...
...I assure you, I am not against it...
...And, after all, since I'm usually right on matters of government strategy it does save a lot of time when they all agree with me right away...
...After all, if there is a plot I need to know its full potential...
...Oh yes," Humphrey told me...
...Alan, who's new, was taking it very badly indeed...
...Anyone else have an opinion...
...Or several irresponsible journalists...
...Hacker's diary continues—Ed...
...He heaved a sigh...
...My pencil poised, I asked him to list them...
...His problem is a lack of concrete evidence...
...A plot...
...Dudley...
...Well, virtually nothing...
...And the Employment Secretary's scheme is designed to help those who are currently unemployed...
...But Max refused to accept Dudley's request without comment...
...Yes, he does," I replied grimly...
...Very droll, Humphrey, but not so...
...Jeffrey, I'm not taking any risks," he said quietly...
...I'm sure it's just general speculation," he drawled casually...
...Their objections are entirely strategic...
...You could always find out ." "Could I?" "The Chief Whip would be bound to know...
...I couldn't see how he could...
...Like me, he could hardly believe that Dudley had said nothing suitable about me...
...I have never leaked...
...Unless, that is, it's a very difficult time with lots of unrest on the back benches...
...Tell me more...
...Hacker's diary continues—Ed...
...he asked finally...
...Jeffrey Pearson 's account of this is somewhat different...
...He stared at me over his reading glasses...
...I'd never thought of checking...
...He stared at me over his reading glasses...
...Not particularly soldierly, I thought, but Alan explained that this proposal by the Employment Secretary has put the whole of the Ministry of Defense into a state of turmoil...
...Almost everything and everyone is here in the south...
...Who else is involved...
...Wouldn't you say...
...He tried to reassure me...
...We agreed that we would defer discussion of the plan until an unspecified future date and that meanwhile Sir Humphrey would attend to the plumbing...
...they all grunted vociferously...
...There's nothing to tell, really...
...But you have suspicions...
...Exactly," he replied enigmatically...
...As soon as the Employment Secretary's relocation proposal was circulated, an emergency meeting was convened at the Ministry of Defense (MOD...
...It's suspicious...
...But this is to be achieved, as I understand it, by relocating most of our defense establishments...
...I'm sure he pays personal tributes to you in all of them !' We looked at each other...
...I asked my secretary to get me copies of Dudley's last six speeches...
...Humphrey was right, of course...
...At first I thought that he was referring to the PM, and I indicated that it would be an awful pity to get rid of him after all the effort we've put into getting him house-trained...
...And wondered...
...It all showed that the cost of the move would be prohibitive...
...Oh yes...
...The minutes record total approval for the plan, with a note that minor reservations were expressed about the feasibility of certain peripheral details concerning the actual execution of the proposal...
...He looked thin, tired, and drawn...
...I wasn't so sure...
...It could well find its way into the hands of an irresponsible journalist ." "Could it...
...But it transpired that Geoffrey meant getting rid of the Employment Secretary...
...Top priority...
...He said that he had no real evidence but he had suspicions...
...It's a top secret document ." I simply stared at him, and waited...
...I hadn't had time to read much of it before the meeting...
...I was startled...
...Dudley is very popular with the parliamentary party...
...Dudley, at my prompting, asked for reactions to his paper...
...Dudley is not concerned about the military personnel themselves...
...He said there were...
...July 5th I couldn't sleep...
...He has come to the realization that, although we have 420,000 service personnel, only 20,000 of them are stationed This article has been adapted from Yes Prime Minister by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay, Salem House, $19.95...
...Perhaps he even had evidence...
...Geoffrey could think of nothing more serious than that...
...The plan we devised involves appealing to the Prime Minister's paranoia...
...Some don't conform to private-sector fire and safety regulations...
...A superb intellect...
...This had not escaped me either...
...I suggest that it affects the Defense Department at least as much as the Department of Employment and I need time to do a feasibility study...
...There is really no good argument against this proposal, and I defy the Civil Service to provide one...
...I just want him under control ." I didn't see how I could possibly have a word with him until I knew who he was...
...In a nutshell, his plan is to relocate many of our armed forces to the north of England...
...I looked around the table...
...Some are under strict planning controls...
...Do you think he wants to be Prime Minister...
...I was shocked...
...He didn't fool me...
...I spoke to the Chief Whip...
...I pressed him for objective reasons against the plan...
...Is he...
...Two days ago a story appeared in several newspapers, attributed to various nonattributable sources, effectively torpedoing Dudley's plan...
...He looked thin, tired, and drawn...
...It only means that his fear of losing his job is stronger than his hope of pinching mine...
...And it occurred to me, once I started thinking about it, that Dudley also spends a considerable amount of time chatting up our backbenchers in the House of Commons tea room...
...Humphrey agreed wholeheartedly that I could not be party to such a leak...
...Why was Humphrey so keen to defend him...
...Or float the navy...
...July 13th At a meeting with Humphrey first thing this morning I questioned him closely about the Ministry of Defense paper...
...We waited in silence...
...I'd already said it...
...I corrected him: the plan emanated from the Secretary of State for Employment—the Department itself had nothing to do with it...
...I explained that it was out of the question, that only a Prime Minister can remove Secretaries of State...
...Do you think you ought to have a word with him...
...I was still searching for a clue as to the identity of the pretender...
...Not any more...
...Not in so many...
...It is fascinating...
...So he clarified the statement: what he meant was that the MOD knows what it would have to do to repel a Russian invasion...
...I dismissed them and, as they trooped out obediently, I remained behind to catch up on the details of Dudley's proposal...
...Meanwhile, I won't worry about it...
...Outstanding...
...This job is taking a toll on him, and he's only been at it less than a year...
...I occasionally give confidential briefings to the press...
...and anyway, I always have suspicions of one sort or another...
...I have never leaked...
...He said that he would make enquiries...
...Many of them come from the north anyway...
...He added one rather telling point: that the whole plan may not be completely unconnected with the fact that Dudley represents a Newcastle constituency...
...But as you see, it casts grave doubts on the Employment Secretary's plan ." This was a paper I was keen to read...
...What does she know...
...When's he going to leak it...
...I have to admire that, even though he can't win this one...
...Three hundred thousand extra paychecks to be spent in shops...
...The navy is in Portsmouth and Plymouth...
...This job is taking a toll on him, and he's only been at it less than a year...
...So am I," agreed Geoffrey without hesitation...
...Some are under strict planning controls...
...I mentioned this to Humphrey...
...He expressed surprise that Dudley is plotting against me...
...I couldn't quite see his eyes...
...Thoughtfully, he stroked his chin...
...Oh yes he is...
...Alan said: "I'd be less worried if it were a Russian invasion—the Ministry of Defense is prepared for that" We were all more than surprised to hear this...
...Surely," asked Humphrey, evidently puzzled., "surely he must have talked about the new Prime Minister bringing a hope to Britain...
...I could see that he meant business...
...This starts to get worrying" There seemed no more to say...
...asked the Prime Minister...
...He's absolutely correct in that...
...I'm grateful to Humphrey for drawing my attention to it...
...I think that the Secretary of State for Defense is in a minority of one...
...I think, Prime Minister, that the Secretary of State for Defense fears that his plan may create some insoluble opportunities ." We all laughed...
...After he left, Bernard Woolley, the First Secretary, who sometimes lacks subtlety, turned to me...
...I left the Cabinet Room, and assigned all the Whips to make some enquiries...
...Very popular, too...
...Loyal...
...Naturally I was cautious, though I had nothing to hide...
...I would have thought all your Cabinet were loyal ." Sometimes I am amazed at how trusting and naive Humphrey reveals himself to be...
...This had not escaped me either...
...Appleby Papers 36/17/QQX] [The day following the secret meeting at the MOD, the Employment Secretary's proposal came up for discussion in Cabinet Committee...
...So I was supposed to have noticed something...
...What do you mean...
...The morning sun shone brightly through the windows, creating patterns of intense light and deep shade...
...May I urge the Secretary of State for Defense to remember that every problem is also an opportunity...
...To my surprise Humphrey agreed wholeheartedly...
...I agreed that we would have a full discussion of it at our next meeting, in two weeks' time, after which we would put it to full I Sir Maxwell Hopkins, Secretary of State for Defense...
...Absolutely brilliant...
...The AdmiralTHE WASHINGTON MONTHLY/JULY/AUGUST 1988 ty Ships Division needs a deep-water port so it obviously had to be in Bath-30 miles inland...
...But he made it clear, very properly, that we really cannot ask senior officers to live permanently in the north...
...he asked...
...he asked...
...Strong elbows...
...He really is a good man and a loyal servant...
...Here, in this sequel, Hacker has become Prime Minister, and Appleby has become the Cabinet Secretary, his chief Civil Service aide...
...He refused to tell me about them till he had something solid to go on...
...It's a Minister of Defense draft internal paper...
...It's my job to have suspicions," I replied carefully...
...Oh, I do agree with you there...
...But upon closer examination it was the permanence of the move to which he objected...
...There were schools in the north of England at this time, but perhaps Sir Geoffrey meant that suitable fee-paying schools were not accessible—Ed.] 3. Harrods is not in the north...
...Oh" Humphrey looked glum...
...Is it quite honest and accurate...
...Armored vehicle trials are conducted in Scotland so the military engineering establishment clearly needs to be in Surrey...
...The Chief Whip was in his office at Number Twelve...
...He said that he had no real evidence but he had suspicions...
...Quite reasonably...
...The matter is to be discussed in Cabinet this afternoon, and more serious arguments are required than senior officers being 300 miles from the club, however disturbing, however true...
...He gazed back at me, unsmiling, cold, totally unshakable, his piercing blue eyes fixed upon me as they stared at me down his patrician nose...
...Their personal feelings do not enter into it...
...I told him things were going quite well, really, and asked why...
...This business with Dudley is really worrying...
...I made it quite clear, however, that I could not be a party to anything like that, even though it would at least give the public the true facts...
...The Defense Secretary hasn't seen it yet" He passed it over the desk...
...I could see that he meant business...
...The man is dangerous...
...I regard that as proof positive...
...But I'm not planning to retire...
...This was news to me...
...Nonetheless, any Prime Minister would be forced to consider such drastic action if he were to suspect the loyalty of a member of his Cabinet...
...The story of their ongoing battle is told through excerpts from Hacker's diaries and Sir Humphrey's papers, beginning with Hacker...
...And if we were to look at the conclusion of the report we would see that all of the objections to the scheme were known to the Employment Secretary before he produced his plan...
...Yes," I said...
...It all showed that the cost of the move would be prohibitive...
...Geoffrey asked if this were true...
...I racked my brains furiously...
...q"Oh, apart from Dudley, it's a bit early to say...
...So when Alan and Geoffrey have had time to find some strategic arguments, we must ensure that if they cannot stand up to outside scrutiny we will make them top secret...
...Strategic...
...Er...
...A major figure, without doubt" I didn't think he was that good...
...And then, in Part Three, which I read in bed tonight, there are pages and pages of objections on grounds of military strategy...
...I occasionally give confidential briefings to the press...
...I, Prime Minister...
...Apart from Dudley, obviously...
...Soldiers really are awfully simple people...
...Humphrey, a tower of strength as always, offered to help...
...Suddenly Humphrey seemed to be on his guard...
...Prime Minister, that is unworthy...
...Absolutely first-rate," said Eric, and Neil commented that it was a brilliant scheme...
...You mean, you've noticed nothing...
...I left the Cabinet Room, and assigned all the Whips to make some enquiries...
...I'm getting wise to their tricks...
...Quickly...
...Only to a very early state...
...And if we were to look at the conclusion of the report we would see that all of the objections to the scheme were known to the Employment Secretary before he produced his plan...
...But I couldn't say so, because Hacker obviously had suspicions...
...And yet—here's the rub—virtually all our unemployment is in the north...
...Jeffrey Pearson, the Chief Whip, was in the Cabinet Room within ten minutes...
...He said that everything is a matter of interpretation...
...So I proposed that, for additional safety, we play the man instead of the ball...
...After all, one wants ambitious men in the Cabinet, one needs them...
...What...
...But as you see, it casts grave doubts on the Employment Secretary's plan ." This was a paper I was keen to read...
...Hear hear...
...I'm thoroughly in favor of the proposal," I said...
...Prime Minister Hacker's diary continues—Ed.] July 4th We discussed Dudley's proposal today in Cabinet Committee and I encountered opposition, just as I expected...
...I don't see why not...
...Tell him I know what's going on...
...Very suspicious...
...I hadn't heard a thing...
...Max stood up for himself...
...A following in the Cabinet...
...I felt I had to understand...
...Having had my little bit of fun, I gave my opinion...
...I'll read them as soon as I get them...
...Some don't conform to private-sector fire and safety regulations...
...Top Secret...
...If he's moved from Employment he might get Industry—in which case he might try to sell the RAF...
...I mean," said Humphrey carefully, "when you decide to retire, of course...
...They should underestimate me no longer...
Vol. 20 • July 1988 • No. 6
