On the Wagon
Doar, Robert
On The Wagon by Robert Doar What Alcoholics Anonymous can teach the rest of us. Henrietta Seiberling, a divorced mother of two in Akron, Ohio, was at home with her children when the...
...No one is permitted to donate more than $1,000, and publicity is strongly frowned upon...
...But even more important, it keeps them from becoming too proud of their achievement—and mindful that a relapse is only a drink away...
...Alcoholics are often ambitious and compulsive achievers, constantly projecting into the future...
...Though in many cities it is not unusual for a member to begin his comments, "My name is ---- and I am a drug addict and an alcoholic," some groups have started over-30-only meetings...
...And ironically their first suggestion to a family dealing with a drinking alcoholic is "let him drink" Only when he hits bottom will he be able to see his way out...
...A.A...
...It is also ironic because Wilson would not have approved...
...ficult months in A.A...
...Surely such comingstogether shouldn't be limited only to those who can't have one martini without having five...
...Let's get to work ." That is the A.A...
...emphasis on humility is hard to see...
...The handful of alcoholics who work at the headquarters (there are no titles) are rotated every two years so as to guard against anyone building up a fiefdom...
...She may be right...
...meeting...
...But when it comes to drug addicts, many A.A...
...How much better would be the attitude that says "Let's stop pointing fingers...
...And there can be no question that Robertson is proud—damn proud—of her recovery...
...proves there can be a middle ground—religion without church...
...In some way, without anybody saying anything, this kind of behavior gradually tapers off...
...is humility...
...But they also will make visits and speak to the alcoholics' family...
...In the typical meeting that Robertson depicts there is a plastic rocking horse in the corner...
...It scars more than just one person...
...Every time a person takes his first steps toward recovery through A.A., he is also making himself a better parent, sibling, and friend...
...but are not counted by A.A...
...Nan Robertson...
...has much to offer...
...The history, teachings, and structure of Alcoholics Anonymous is the subject of Nan Robertson's new book.* A longtime reporter for The New York Times, whose story about her battle with toxic shock syndrome won her a Pulitzer Prize in 1985, Robertson is a member of A.A...
...meeting...
...they don't even disapprove...
...This can thrust them into the most volatile family situations...
...Outside of the big cities the references to God come frequently...
...What's more, alcoholism is emotionally contagious...
...Now with the call from the out-oftowner, she saw her chance...
...Here is an organization that, without depending on donations from the government, and without a lot: *Getting Better: Inside Alcoholics Anonymous...
...Though many liberals squirm at the idea, recognizing a greater power helps to ground one in moral and ethical principles...
...I never heard him bitch about anyone," said a man who joined A.A...
...For the millions of Americans who are in that twilight zone between not belonging to any congregation and not entirely rejecting the notion of a higher being, A.A...
...In part, it aims to protect members' reputations in the nonalcoholic world...
...Robertson is particulary self-conscious about this issue...
...is a remarkably diverse organization, with heiresses sitting alongside plumbers...
...The key word is "accept" and it is related to more than just an alcoholic's powerlessness against alcohol...
...Henrietta Seiberling, a divorced mother of two in Akron, Ohio, was at home with her children when the stranger called...
...Saving lives is what A.A...
...After describing a meeting where Greg made the mistake of criticizing Susan for expressing too much resentment, Robertson approvingly describes the tit-fortat response of a group of members who ask Susan out for coffee, pointedly leaving Greg behind...
...does not recruit new members (because the first step to sobriety is recognizing the problem, and that can only come from within), it does teach its members, that their recovery is not complete until they have engaged in what is called Twelfth Stepping—making, a personal effort to help another alcoholic maintair, his sobriety...
...The caller had gotten Henrietta's name from an Episcopal minister who said Henrietta might be able to help him with his problem...
...His hands shook so badly in the morning that he needed a glass of gin and a beer to eat breakfast...
...But there is no getting around it...
...These include admitting powerlessness over alcohol, taking a personal inventory, and seeking forgiveness from friends and family...
...When she put the two men alone in the upstairs library for some after-dinner conversation, Alcoholics Anonymous was born...
...Describing the reason for anonymity, Wilson said, "Its deeper purpose is to keep those fool egos of ours from running hog-wild after money and fame...
...When the meeting begins there are anywhere from 20 to 40 people spread around the room...
...The alcoholic has to accept that he cannot always control his world...
...meetings...
...has become a worldwide organization, with 76 thousand groups in 119 countries...
...ics," Wilson wrote...
...For the two months preceding his trip to Akron, however, Wilson had remained sober...
...Through their efforts (Smith concentrated his in Akron, Wilson went national) and through the publication of Wilson's book, Alcoholics Anonymous, A.A...
...Though the last chapter tells the tale of Robertson's own sickness (when she was the Times's correspondent in Paris her lunchtime intake was two double scotches and a carafe of wine)., Getting Better is much more than a personal narrative...
...Robertson does not always live up to AA.'s ideals...
...personal recovery depends upon A.A...
...Unlike antismoking fanatics, AA.s do not preach...
...God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change," is the first line of the prayer recited at many A.A...
...Rather than helping, they are obstacles to change...
...I'm a rum hound from New York," said the stranger...
...Who cares who gets the credit...
...attitude toward drinking by nonalcoholics...
...This was like manna from heaven," she thought at the time...
...I am responsible...
...Without A.A...
...Members are asked only to stay away from the first drink, for today only?' After awhile A.A...
...The final lesson of A.A...
...Coffee is brewing alongside trays of cookies...
...What Bill Wilson and Bob Smith started in Henrietta Seiberling's library has bequeathed to the country a population of people who are more than merely alive because of A.A.—they are better citizens...
...In the subculture that is AA.," writes Robertson, "most of the world's yardsticks for success do not count ." Members try to refrain from commenting on another's age, appearance, or profession...
...members are encouraged to shop around for the meeting that suits them...
...Just being available to talk is the sponsors' main job...
...The following day, Seiberling had Wilson and Smith to dinner at her home...
...Though there are few blacks, there are many homosexuals...
...alcoholics are constantly urged to let go, keep it simple, stop trying to control...
...They make references to some medical issue...
...that deserves greater circulation is the concept of service...
...Meetings are most frequently held in church basements, which by day are often filled with preschoolers...
...For the rest of us who never hid a bottle in the kitchen cupboard, woke up with the shakes, or brawled in a barroom, A.A...
...A pamphlet issued by the Hazelden rehabilitation center for alcoholics in Minnesota describes the etiquette for A.A...
...Keep it simple...
...unity," reads the first of Wilson's Twelve Traditions...
...The newcomers begin to realize that instead of 'I am what I do,' the group's silent message is, 'You are how sober you are today—and the rest of it doesn't matter' " The emphasis on humility is reflected in the organizational structure of A.A...
...Robertson's depiction of recovering alcoholics is refreshingly hopeful, but the best thing about Robertson's book is what it teaches nonalcoholics...
...I don't think she does...
...His problem...
...it is much harder to follow the prescription...
...One day at a time...
...Everyone can understand the ideas behind A.A...
...It begins with community...
...She occasionally exhibits a surprising inability to forgive some of her fellow members...
...This emphasis was born in that first meeting between Smith and Wilson...
...Both Wilson and Smith were uncomfortable, even hostile, toward organized religion...
...And perhaps it was...
...It provides confidence that there is a moral order, and without that confidence . people have a tendency to lack all conviction...
...sets no lofty goals...
...Robertson writes, "A.A...
...Now, alone in a small, unfamiliar city, he was dying for a drink—and looking for someone to talk him out of it...
...We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution...
...Seiberling's simple act of neighborliness kicked off something big...
...Consistent with this approach, A.A...
...New members are encouraged to find "sponsors,' who will act as special friends during their first dif...
...Millions more have benefited from A.A...
...groups are self-supporting and autonomous...
...The romance of the reformer, the activist's dynamic rhetoric are so often a mask for self-absorbed ambition...
...group activity...
...The message is clear—No Drug Addicts Please...
...were not sufficient...
...And it is more than a straight recounting of the history of A.A...
...Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone," wrote Wilson...
...Never able to hold a job, Wilson lived off his wife, who worked in a department store...
...Wilson and Smith had found an answer that had eluded physicians and social workers: dialogue yes, but with everyone on equal terms...
...Though A.A...
...For more than a year Seiberling had been trying to convince Smith to stay sober...
...The Twelve Traditions set forth a flexible guide for A.A...
...Humility and service are closely related...
...meetings: "No one makes an effort to keep [a speaker] from referring to God at meetings, and no one makes an effort to force anyone to talk about God ." For Wilson, and for many in A.A., "the God part," as Robertson calls it, is a product less of faith than of survival...
...Smith said later, "Wilson was the first living human with whom I had ever talked who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience...
...Many alcoholics have sought help elsewhere," writes Robertson, "but those 'helpers' have almost invariably been superior people—doctors, bosses, members of the clergy . . . . It is quite wonderful for the newcomer to find himself in a place where everyone has once sunk as low as he has" The central expression of this community is the A.A...
...This is an unfortunate response because A.A...
...On the wall are posters with some of A.A.'s favorite sayings...
...This raises one of the few problems with the book...
...Of course it wouldn't be prudent to wield a heavy hand with A.A.'s type of spirituality...
...members learn to apply this attitude toward other aspects of their lives...
...Our human resources...
...In the long run it is a step by step, realistic, view of social change that results in the greatest benefit, not the idealist's promise (or demand) for change now...
...In the Brooklyn neighborhood where Wilson lived (and where I grew up) the A.A...
...Drug addicts have found the A.A...
...is remarkably successful in arresting drug addiction...
...No doctor, no foundation, no government social program has as its principal place of business a setting as modest as an A.A...
...Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcohol...
...The National Council on Alcoholism estimates that more than 97 thousand people suffer alcohol-related deaths every year...
...More than 90 thousand A.A...
...But the amount of discomfort depends greatly on the group...
...In a nonalcoholic these qualities are double-edged--virtues as well as defects...
...Heiresses and plumbers One of the the most often misunderstood practices of A.A...
...and one that is closely tied to the concept of humility, is the anonymity...
...One member described it at a meeting: "The only place I ever found God was here—in your faces, and the way you talked" After community and spirituality, the third essential ingredient of A.A...
...But to the alcoholic they are often a cause for drinking...
...They try to make it clear to everyone else that they have great medical knowledge...
...that number would be much higher...
...Teaching teetotalers A.A.'s lessons of community, spirituality, humility, and service may seem like hopelessly woolly notions, but America suffers from an absence of all four...
...Our common welfare should come first...
...It damages families, friendships, the work place...
...seem to be under tremendous compulsion to recite their curriculum vitae: their medical schools, their hospital affiliation...
...Retelling a personal story while discovering new truths about oneself continues to lighten the burden of years of guilt and denial ." A second key aspect of A.A...
...A plastic rocking horse A.A.'s Twelve Steps outline the separate acts that can lead to sobriety...
...they failed utterly," Wilson wrote...
...How she reconciles that with the A.A...
...That first night in 1935 Bill Wilson and Bob Smith formed a fellowship of two that has since grown to almost two million...
...At Oxford group meetings she had met and come to know a tall, taciturn, drunk named Dr...
...In 1959 Wilson refused a Time cover story because it violated his conviction that humility was the key to sobriety...
...is a force for good in the world...
...It was May 1935, and the stranger was Bill Wilson, a failed stockbroker from Brooklyn who had come to Akron on one more ill-fated business trip...
...Though the power is often referred to as God, there is an antireligious aspect to A.A...
...Instead, Getting Better is a thoughtfully written brief for why A.A...
...Smith was a physician who specialized in rectal surgery, and the joke around Akron was that when you went to Smith you really bet your ass...
...And A.A...
...In A.A...
...program useful but not always welcoming...
...does...
...Like Wilson, Seiberling was a member of the Oxford group, a nondenominational religious organization that gave particular attention to drunks...
...Though A.A.'s national headquarters in New York publishes A.A.'s literature and organizes the national conventions, the individual groups are granted complete control over their own affairs...
...Even the neighborhood kids know when and where they are taking place...
...William Morrow, $17.95 of self-promotion (and the self-congratulation that comes with it), has helped million of Americans in the most significant way possible...
...members are fond of saying...
...Bob Smith...
...The lessons of AA—community, spirituality, humility, and service —deserve a larger audience than just perpetual elbow benders...
...In the Twelve Steps, the first reference to God is followed by the words, "as we understand him ." "It's not a religious program, it's a spiritual program," A.A...
...It wouldn't have mattered if I was a cannibal ." Another illustration of A.A.'s tolerance is the A.A...
...shows that religion, even when it's not organized under the hub of Catholicism or Judaism or whatever, can still motivate people to do good deeds...
...A bigtalking and manipulative drunk, Wilson had spent years of his life drinking all day and every night...
...also discourages judging others...
...Instead she ignores the contradiction in the belief that it doesn't matter as much as getting out the story of A.A...
...in the 1940s and was one of its first homosexuals...
...And though this is changing, many Jews still feel uneasy at A.A...
...But A.A...
...Besides, the ACLU wouldn't let him...
...The same goes for spirituality...
...because they no longer attend its meetings regularly...
...meetings...
...With the first, the second is more effective...
...meetings have become the most visible and vital gatherings of the week...
...members are less than true to their beliefs...
...Represent us, don't boss us," was Wilson's instruction to the national office...
...We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be A Power Greater Than Ourselves ." But that power could be anything...
...In order to write it Robertson had to sacrifice her anonymity...
...Robertson quotes a 35-year-old man describing his first meeting: "I felt that I had arrived at a place where I was very much at home, and that these people knew what they were talking about ." "Nobody pushes reluctant members to tell their story in a meeting or even to utter a word unless and until they feel ready," Robertson writes...
...meetings are held every week in the United States...
...On The Wagon by Robert Doar What Alcoholics Anonymous can teach the rest of us...
...The habit of masking one's deepest self, of lying about everything and to everyone in order to continue the habit is deeply ingrained in drunks...
...is spirituality, the belief that there is a greater power than man...
...You wouldn't want the leader of a local jobs training program leading his crew in prayer...
...Some people think we're a bunch of religious nuts," she tells Wilson's widow when she explains why she wants to write the book...
...Therefore the value of talking honestly to others who will understand is a crucial strength of A.A...
...These are tough problems...
...All A.A...
...reduces the problem to manageable size...
...A doctor describes how other alcoholic doctors respond to the program: "All the new doctors...
...It poisons relations between people...
Vol. 20 • June 1988 • No. 5
