TIDBITS AND OUTRAGES

...charges that they were engaging in unfair trade practices, Japan has agreed to eliminate cigarette tariffs, a move that could increase American sales there sixfold...

...A Washington marketing consultant has recently published Kitchen Spanish, an English-Spanish phrase book containing "everything you've always wanted to say to your Spanish-speaking domestic, but couldn't," according to a press release announcing it...

...BUT THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE GENERAL ENRILE'S FORCES HAD ALREADY SEIZED THE LOCAL BOWLING ALLEYS In an article about the dramatic Philippine cabinet meeting following General Juan Ponce Enrile's recent attempted coup, The Washington Post reported, "the only one absent besides Enrile was the vice-president and foreign minister, Salvador Laurel, who was playing golf ." ON THE EIGHTH DAY, GOD CREATED THE SIDEWINDER HEAT-SEEKING MISSILE Like Yosemite National Park, Tactical Weapons Systems are a national resource...

...TIDBITS AND OUTRAGES THE AUTHOR PLANS A SPANISHENGLISH VERSION WITH SUCH PHRASES AS, "I'LL KEEP PUTTING YOUR SILK SUIT IN THE DRYER UNTIL YOU PAY ME MINIMUM WAGE...

...The book covers the spectrum from kitchen to childcare and runs the gamut from simple lines like 'please change the sheets,' to the more complex up-to-date lines like 'the child's father will be coming to pick her up at . . [The book] is ideal for every person who has ever come home to find their silk suit in the dryer...

...THREE COUGHS FOR FREE TRADE Responding to U.S...