The Navy'S Plane Stupidity
Shuger, Scott
THE NAVY'S PLANE STUPIDITY by Scott Shuger It was the fall of 1979, and I had recently joined a Navy E-2 squadron based at Naval Air Station Miramar just north of San Diego. My question came...
...This may seem somewhat short-sighted, but in all my carrier cruises and E-2 flights, I never once saw nor heard of an aviator who had to improvise an in-flight toilet to get on with the national defense...
...The ashtray isn't the only "Grumman extra" on which the Navy wastes money...
...On most tactical aircraft, the use of oxygen equipment rules out smoking right away...
...As long as smoking isn't flatly prohibited in an aircraft, the manufacturer, in this case Grumman, will try to include ashtrays...
...Moreover, a squadron commanding officer can issue further directives governing smoking in aircraft and—this was the clincher— "smoking shall be discouraged among flight crews" So with all these obstacles the Navy puts between its aviators and nicotine, it wasn't the price tag that caught my attention during the recent flap over the $600 ashtrays on the Navy's E-2, a carrier-based, radar surveillance airplane...
...if someone has to urinate, he can make use of the "relief tube...
...The point, however, is not that the E-2 doesn't come equipped with a chemical toilet...
...But the E-2 has pressurized cabins and carries oxygen masks only as a backup...
...Presumably the reason is space, but in any event, the Navy still pays for the toilets...
...Only certain enlisted aviation flight maintenance technicians are trained to use the oscilloscope, and in recent years, the Navy has gradually dropped all but a few of them from flying status...
...That's no big loss, since a new diagnostic computer program gives information on just about every aspect of radar performance that the maintenance people would want to know...
...The growing weight of the E-2 has been a safety concern inside the Navy for some time...
...The risk of a crash in these circumstances is high, especially if the plane is fully loaded with jet fuel, is hindered by hot, humid weather (which reduces "lift"), or is launched by a "soft" catapult shot...
...It's bad enough that the Navy is paying through the nose for these irrelevant goodies...
...But somehow the operators' opinions haven't yet filtered far enough up the line to convince the Navy to quit paying for them in new E-2s...
...Smoking is prohibited during fueling operations, during and immediately after take-off, immediately before and during landing, whenever gas fumes are detected, during all ground operations, in parts of any plane containing fuel tanks, in the cabin if a flammable cargo is aboard, during inspection of aircraft compartments that collect gas fumes, and whenever oxygen equipment is in use...
...Experienced fleet E-2 aviators have known for years that gadgets like the oscilloscope are practically worthless...
...Amused by my naivete, an experienced lieutenant commander set me straight...
...Last spring, after the press discovered Grumman's ashtray bonanza, three senior officers at Miramar were removed from their jobs (although one was later reinstated...
...It's even worse that it may also be compromising the safety of its own men and the readiness of its fighting force...
...So almost none of the officers in an E-2 today know how to use the damned thing...
...The typical mission of an E-2 lasts about four to four and a half hours...
...There is no in-flight toilet...
...Meanwhile, the E-2's engine and fuselage—which have to handle all that weight—have changed very little...
...make use of the "relief tube...
...And while the Navy has not officially attributed any E-2 crashes or near-crashes to excess weight, one can understand why...
...This may seem somewhat short-sighted, but in all my carrier cruises and E-2 flights, I never once saw nor heard of an aviator who had to improvise an in-flight toilet to get on with the national defense...
...But in every E-2 in which I flew, the toilets had been removed—by the Navy...
...There's at least one other non-essential ornament in the E-2—the radar oscilloscope...
...My question came up in a squadron officers' meeting during which we were reviewing the Navy's basic instructions on flight safety—OPNAVINSTR 3710 in naval parlance...
...That means there conceivably could be a little time for smoking during a mission...
...How much is unclear, since Grumman says that it doesn't break out the cost of the E-2's toilet when it writes up the bill for the Pentagon...
...One can, however, be reasonably sure that custom-made toilets are somewhat more expensive than custom-made ashtrays...
...Aside from the money involved, there's another, often overlooked reason to be concerned about these and other "extras" on planes like the E-2...
...In fact, every E-2 that arrives from Grumman's Long Island factory comes complete with a chemical toilet in the aft equipment compartment...
...Hence the need for custombuilt ashtrays that meet rigorous military specifications— and cost $600 apiece...
...Designed to calibrate the radar, it's really a throwback to an earlier time in the plane's history...
...Scott Shuger, a former Navy air intelligence officer, lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan and is writing a book about the modern Navy...
...That's like having a crew member who sleeps through the whole war...
...Obviously the weight of four extra ashtrays isn't going to cause an E-2 to crash...
...But given that every E-2 in the fleet since the mid-sixties has been equipped with four of these deluxe receptacles, this "solution" seemed typically cosmetic...
...Instead, I wondered why the Navy was buying the ashtrays in the first place...
...Yet there the oscilloscope sits on every flight, 200 pounds of blank screen...
...Let's put a radar system in a plane that flies at 20,000 feet," was the good idea, but it's taken about 25 years to make it work...
...Just like extras on new automobiles, he explained, extras on Navy planes are quite profitable for the manufacturer...
...The E-2 started out more as a good idea than a carefully designed, ready-for-operations aircraft...
...A 200-pound oscilloscope, however, is a different story...
...This helped dampen the controversy some...
...There is no in-flight toilet...
...When I was in the E-2 squadron, there was a nearepidemic number of cases where E-2 engines "bogged-down,"' losing precious power during take-off...
...In response to my question, the safety officer explained what 3710 says about smoking in naval aircraft...
...And since the E-2 is designed for use on aircraft carriers, where the plane is shot off the deck by a steam-powered catapult, not just any ashtray off the shelf will do...
...Grumman volunteered to cut its ashtray prices drastically...
...During that time, the E-2's communications, avionics, radar, and navigation systems have been changed several times each, adding more weight to the plane...
...During this time, the five-man crew is usually far too busy to worry about going to the bathroom...
Vol. 17 • October 1985 • No. 9
