There Must Be 50 Ways to Lose Your MX
There Must Be 50 Ways to Lose Your MX Pentagon planners in their debates over whether to "base" the MX missile in' 11 "shell game,'" ,"racetrack," oi:' some other similarly costly system, have...
...THE MELTDOWN COUNTDOWN GAME: MXs would be secreted in the cooling towers of nuclear power stations...
...Russian spy ~tellites would be " unabi'e't'o determine'which towers haa missiles because their sensors would be "blinded" by conflicting radiation data around , the plant...
...During a nuclear attack, trucks would "dash" to launchers hidden at roadside weigh stations, which are always closed anyway...
...Also, no Russian spy would be willing to get close enough to the plll,nts to find ouHor himself...
...To launch the missiles the cars would;' only have to be derailed, instantly splitting them open...
...They include: THE "NOW YOU ICC THEM, NOW YOU DON'T" ,:STRATEGY: MXs would travel the highways via regulated common carrier...
...They would be converted to double as launching tubes...
...MX missiles would be loaded on for each empty run, therebyJinding a use for this fuel;..wasteful trip.' , , Since much of MX's value is said to come from the psychology of a major defense commitment, this mode would be ideal...
...THE THREE-CAR MONTE PLOY: The missiles, which are already long cylinders, would ,be enclosed in railroad chemical tank cars...
...When it came time to launch, Metro's missiles would be blasted up through the elevators for the handicapp~, 4' which are ~~ways out of servi~e anyway...
...Gregg Easterbrook...
...ICC rules require that many trucks take their cargo to its destination, then return empty...
...Citizens would be constantly r~p1inded of our ,(ommitment bX peing able to see, touch, and collide,' with thermonuclear weapons...
...o. 'iiiE JOHN PrikTMAN GA~BIT: ~very new hotel, convention center, and shopping center in America has outdoor glass elevators...
...PUring SALT negptiations, the S,oviets would be asked to'pledge never tp'start Armageddon during happy hour...
...They would ride the raHs as part of regular trains, evading Russian spotters by getting lost on sidings for days at a time like all other cars...
...There Must Be 50 Ways to Lose Your MX Pentagon planners in their debates over whether to "base" the MX missile in' 11 "shell game,'" ,"racetrack," oi:' some other similarly costly system, have overlooked many simpler and cheaper alternatives...
...0' THE LAUNCH AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL TRICK: MXs would be towed behind subway trains...
...In New York, patriotic volunteers would quic)dy, camouflage, ;them with sPflly paint,::'In, San Francisco, Soviet agents plotting to sabotage BARTs missiles would spend hour afteJ endless hour waiting for them in stationS...
...To soothe the nervous Soviets by making MXs less accurate, the missiles' navigational " system'$:would be designed by the s8;If1e company that built the Farecard machines for Washington's Metro subway...
...THE FIRST-CLASS DEFENSE STRA TEGY: Starting during the old Saturday delivery hours, when post offices will now be empty, MXs will, be crated!up in plain wta;ppers and mailed to other post offices via parcel post .. That way, no one will ever know where they are...
Vol. 12 • May 1980 • No. 3
