Getting Out the Phat Vote

...Spying organizer Russell Simmons pinned against a soda machine in the cramped hallway, I ask him if he isn't being a tad naive...

...You know, I do my best...

...No warm-up city council or alderman gigs for him...

...Y'all know how to pick the real artists from the fake artists...

...People respect Puffy more than they do George Bush...

...When I ask how many people legitimately registered to vote during the five-hour summit, Chinetti says, "Let's check...

...It's not clear if Bone Crusher has energized the electorate for November...

...Do your best, then go to sleep," he says defensively...

...Downwind in the echo chamber, Simmons opines that the audience needs to "put God first...

...I ask Darius...

...Russell Simmons speaks about the importance of going to the library...

...Three times...

...Keep your vision on something that's high...

...Ever mindful of the legalities prohibiting nonprofits from endorsing specific candidates, Run struggles not to laugh when Simmons says he can't comment on who the hip-hop generation's going to vote for...

...As I'm nearly stampeded, I flash to how tough a time my minister will have eulogizing me with a straight face, as he tells how I was cut down before my time while taking notes on a hip-hop dance troupe...

...Y'all got the best radar you could possibly have...

...Indeed, anyone who reads the Hip-Hop Summit's "National Agenda: What We Want" might be left thinking these political strategists are amateurs...

...Wyclef wears a "Wyclef for President" T-shirt, which nicely complements his new single, "If I Was President...

...Benzino's crew got stabbed-up a while back...

...I'm gonna keep it all the way real with you, all right...

...I ask Babs if Puffy's had any second thoughts...

...Things are getting pretty heavy, and are made only more so when a spokesman from one of the summit's corporate sponsors takes the mike...

...They're not going to understand until they see the umbrella fly out, like okay, this is serious...

...And what I urge you all to do is take the same initiative and do the same homework that you do when you listen to these artists...

...If Bush is president for four more years, Bone Crusher says he probably won't have a job in two or three, presumably because the White House will see to it that jobs writing rhymes like his own "Gettin' It (Get Dat Money)" will be outsourced to India...

...But he won't say who he'll vote for...

...I think he had a part in it," she says...

...When Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, known as the "hip-hop mayor," is introduced, he takes several shots at Newt Gingrich's "Contract on America," a very timely talking point, back in 1995...

...Displaying the kind of original thinking that's become synonymous with the Hip-Hop Summit, BET's Big Tigga states, "I agree with what everybody before me said...

...Next up is a local spoken-word artist who makes an oddball selection, speak-singing his own "Losing Hip-Hop...

...Y'all know how to pick the best videos...

...I ask him if potential new voters flocked to him in droves...

...Da Band is a wrap," she says with finality...

...Despite Loon's words of wisdom, I can't be certain the audience will take his words to heart...

...Instead, he gave them a mock-up ballot just to let them go through the exercise...

...As he goes on, it seems as if he might have the wrong arena...

...After the summit concludes I stop at the back of the arena at the voter registration kiosk...

...Certainly worldwide, you can't argue that...

...It's the right thing to do," says Simmons...

...He prefers to brand it "conscious music—because I'm conscious of what I'm sayin' the whole time...

...And it is no doubt only a matter of time before someone Garrotes or Defenestrates or Disembowels the Vote...

...Matt Labash is a senior writer at THE WEEKLY STANDARD...

...In his song "Warrior," he even raps, I'm smooth as the Isleys / Sometimes I surprise me...

...He has branched out into everything from television comedy (HBO's "Def Comedy Jam") to books (Life and Def is his biography) to fashion lines (Phat Farm, Baby Phat, Phat Farm Boys, and Baby Phat Girlz...

...For some reason, Bush didn't respond...

...As the various hip-hoppers are introduced to maddening cheers, moderator Benjamin Chavis starts off with a tough one, asking each person to explain how they got where they are, to reveal their secrets of success...

...This mostly young crowd hadn't come to hear how their idols were debauched hooligans...

...It means I'll eat yo' ass up," he clarifies...

...A profusion of voter-registration organizations now scold us in their 501(c)3, purportedly nonpartisan way that we need to "Rock the Vote," "Dunk the Vote," or even, in the case of pro wrestling fans, "Smackdown the Vote...

...You are the only you you're ever going to have," says Tigga...

...But as he defends Simmons, I'm distracted by his diamond-encrusted lion's-head pendant...

...It's as big as a trailer hitch...

...She," he corrects...

...I joke to Darius that I know him, he makes a fine cognac...

...Manning it is Michael Chinetti of Boston's Election Department...

...I strike up a conversation with two of its members, Science and Exclusive...

...But one thing he doesn't love is hurtful labels, like calling his oeuvre "gangster music...

...But surely, it's a healthy start...

...Crusher...

...But Simmons wants to make clear that they are not naked partisans...

...He made using umbrellas indoors a not-bad look...

...There was a lot of people that was involved, but he knew it was going to happen...

...And for good reason—she probably doesn't even know the candidates, because she's 9 years old...

...Not that he's endorsing John Kerry...

...That's for sure...

...Founded in 2001 by Russell Simmons and former NAACP director Benjamin Chavis, the Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, if you want to get as wordy about their mission as their promotional literature does, "is dedicated to harnessing the cultural relevance of hip-hop music to serve as a catalyst for education advocacy and other societal concerns fundamental to the well-being of at-risk youth throughout the United States...

...But these days, that's no longer good enough...

...Farnsworth Bentley says, "First of all, I have to say, you have to vote for yourselves, ladies and gentlemen...

...They'd come to see the Ying Yang Twins...

...It is enough to make you pine for the healing balm of apathy...

...I hope he's not here," he says, "because him and Jadakiss don't get along...

...Reporters are herded into a hallway where we fall on the musicians...

...It's pretty, hot, huh...

...Woowwwww...

...Even though he couldn't name any of his songs, Kucinich claimed he admired the late Mr...

...Was he complicit in the Twin Towers going down...

...Mercifully, it's not a very busy intersection...

...There's Jadakiss," he says, pointing out the rapper who recently suggested in rhyme that George W. Bush felled the World Trade Center...

...I counter, trying to speak the language...

...The sponsors are PlayStation 2 and Anheuser-Busch, representing two young-people favorites: video games and beer...

...Such is the problem with appealing to youth...

...I ask Science if it's been tough going today, what with everyone inside the arena concentrating on civic involvement...

...They scream like they've just had a leg caught in a trap...

...Science pages through a stack of bills, "Ummmmm, about 25 to 30...

...I don't eat animals, but I wear leather shoes...

...Shakur's thug-life ethos, saying he had "an elegant dissatisfaction with the situation...

...Everything," she replies, "The war, the World Trade Center, just everything...

...This would seem to be a weakness of a Hip-Hop Summit where half the audience is unable to participate in the process that is being championed, and the issue that most animates them is whether Twista or Jadakiss is dreamier...

...A look of concern crosses his face...

...Until now, the second day of the Democratic Convention, or rather the day of the Hip-Hop Summit, which for Darius is sort of like Christmas and Mardi Gras and Oscar night all rolled into one...

...I ask him what it means...

...The bustle of commerce commences as Science, or maybe it's Exclusive, sings Smoke some reefa / Gonna get a bite to eat...

...That would be bad, I agree, though I'm secretly pleased, since the Democratic convention has been on the dull side, and it is highly improbable that anyone's crew will get stabbed-up at the National Conference of Democratic Mayors luncheon...

...I don't take Babs for a current-events buff, but she has seen Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11...

...The 18-to 24-year-old demographic stays home in droves every election...

...But he wants to further explore something that Loon touched upon: "It's important to love yourself...

...When I ask the girl next to me, wearing a "Mandela" summer-camp shirt, who she'll vote for, she doesn't have an answer...

...And I want Penelope Cruz to give me nightly back-rubs while she tells me in English and Spanish that I am a godlike man, but I don't put that in my promotional literature and pretend it's going to happen...

...A few seconds later, he contradicts himself, saying "put yourself first" (a first-place tie presumably goes to God...

...This man really started something...

...He holds forth on how he'd make a decent president of Haiti, and how he hopes to meet with Kofi Annan to talk over problems in his homeland...

...That guy is Lloyd Banks," he says, "his single right now is on fire...

...A boombox plays a single, "Hey Playa!," from their debut album, As the Hood Turns...

...Message-wise, the summiteers have difficulty focusing...

...He pronounces it "liberry...

...At the Reggie Lewis Athletic Center at Roxbury Community College, I make his acquaintance in a backstage bullpen, where we are waiting to secure interviews with the talent...

...So I turn to Darius for guidance...

...They've done all right...

...Lloyd Banks seems to have little problem knowing or loving himself...

...No, no," he says with a pitying glance, "That's the name of the single—'On Fire.'" "Oh," I say, feeling as though my press pass should read "Whitey W. Whitebread...

...They even invited George W. Bush to share the stage with the likes of Mr...

...Simmons's brother—Reverend Run, of Run DMC fame, who has found religion and who now wears a clerical collar along with his trademark fedora— stands beside him...

...Still, in Simmons's thinking, the custodians of hip-hop culture also need to weigh in on matters of national importance, and to use their influence to get people to vote...

...With people like Babs in charge of voter education, one could deduce that the voters are in trouble...

...Y'all know how to pick the best artists...

...He's waiting for the debates— "I want to hear people talking smart...

...I need you to read about these candidates...

...I ask her what she holds Bush responsible for...

...In an indoor track arena filled with about 4,000 people, the summit begins...

...Not voting, he says, is exhibiting bad taste, "like walking around without a pocket square...

...There is of course—nonprofit status be damned— the requisite amount of subtle Bush-bashing, such as when Bone Crusher says, "It don't matter where you from, we are all one people, black, white, green, whatever color it is, we have to get George Bush out of office...

...Rapper Loon splits the difference, saying, "that's the most important thing in the world, knowing God and knowing yourself...

...When they proved stubbornly whiny, incessantly fought with each other, and failed to show up for gigs, Puffy, in keeping with today's theme, had to take responsibility back, putting the kibosh on the whole project...

...We're a nonpartisan organization," Run says...

...is her reaction to it...

...At one card table sits a group named "Simply Hood...

...In addition to demands for reparations, an end to three-strikes drug laws, and the "progressive transformation" of society into a "Nu America," presumably one that spells phonetically, they also advance pragmatic objectives such as "the total elimination of racism . . . hatred and bigotry" and "the total elimination of poverty...

...Outside of the arena, the Ying Yang Twins of tomorrow peddle their wares...

...Youngsters were able to cast a vote for Bullwinkle J. Moose for Board of Cartoon characters, or Wonder Woman for Super Heroes Committee...

...In another corner, Wyclef Jean—the man who gained political renown when Howard Dean named "Jaspora" his favorite song—seems to have a pick for president: himself...

...Wyclef's ready for the top job...

...But of all of these, the most curious are those who insist on Rapping the Vote...

...They're not old enough...

...Wyclef follows suit, saying, "The most important thing in life is to believe in yourself...

...When Banks appears at the rear of the arena to do a television interview, a good fifth of the crowd, ignoring the panel discussion, simply charges from their seats to surround him...

...Which is to say, they set up conferences across the country where rappers get to pop off about politics, all in the hopes of turning out 2 million additional young voters in this election, under the prom theme, "Taking Back Responsibility...

...And the below-18-year-olds are even worse, seeing as how they're not allowed to vote...

...How many units have they moved...

...Though I like to keep up with what the kids are listening to, I can only recognize a small percentage of the photos on the program...

...He pulls the afternoon's take out of an envelope...

...For politics and hip-hop go together like chocolate and anchovies, or like Dennis Kucinich and Tupac Shakur, the former of whom has cited the latter as being his favorite rap artist...

...Other rappers decry Nike's high prices, trying to persuade the crowd to buy brands like Puffy's Sean Jean or Simmons's Phat Farm...

...It's corny," says Darius Mitchell, and Darius should know...

...A reporter riles Wyclef, asking if it isn't hypocritical that voter-registration cheerleaders like Simmons have admitted skipping plenty of elections themselves ("Well he's going to vote this year," offers Wyclef...

...Out of the roughly 4,000 people filling the arena, he says, there were "about 25 to 30...

...Remy Martin is on the list...

...They're selling their CD for five dollars a pop...

...He is a towering black man and hip-hop head who edits an online newsletter, masspoliticalnews.com, which sub-specializes in policing the intersection between political and hip-hop cultures...

...Babs was most recently a star of the MTV reality show Making the Band, in which impresario Sean "Puffy" Combs put together a murderer's row of unknown rappers in the hope of making them into a super-group called "Da Band...

...He really does seem to be interested in taking back responsibility, blaming the rap world for promoting everything from unfettered materialism to licentiousness to violence...

...No," he says...

...Hundreds flee their seats, pressing around to get a better view...

...I make a beeline for Babs, a diminutive female rapper with a straight-razor delivery...

...First up are day-glo bedecked dancers who groove like banshees to a sound-system-shattering megamix, not on the stage, but right on the floor amidst the chairs...

...Bent-ley likens the voter-registration seeds being planted to his own umbrella entrepreneur-ship...

...The elimination of poverty—that's what we want...

...That, however, doesn't stop the Anheuser-Busch executive from saying, "I'd like to take a crack at the purpose of life . . ." The mood lightens considerably, however, when rapper Bone Crusher, who looks to be pushing 300 lbs., arrives late, goes up to center stage upon his introduction, lifts up his shirt and waves his big jelly belly at the audience...

...Most of them can't," he says...

...Simmons has made hundreds of millions not only by starting pioneer rap label Def Jam in the 1980s, but by pretty much cornering the phat/def-centric market...

...Over in another corner, Puffy's protege and former Jeeves, Farnsworth Bentley, stands immaculately tailored in a bold-stripe suit, his cap-toed kicks shining like lightbulbs, and an umbrel-la—from his new line— hooked over his arm...

...A despondent Ben Chavis implores them to return as he says something a grown man hopes never has to be spoken, "Okay, if you wanna see the Ying Yang Twins, they're going to be up here...

...When congresswoman Maxine Waters comes out, she vows to fight for freedom of speech, because "we're not afraid of young people singing and rapping their minds, okay...

...Still, even without job security, she felt she had to be here since "it's a big thing—it's more for the kids...

...It feels like the makings of a British football riot...

...What about this Benzino fella...

...After all, black people can make overpriced designer goods, too...

...The spirit of the afternoon is perhaps best summed up by Loon, who proves, yet again, that he is unfairly monikered...