Parody

Parody Congressional Record Senate Debate over resolution on the use of force against iraq Floor remarks of senator robert byrd (west virginia) sent over from the other chamber. But I think it...

...Perhaps they at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue have never read the Constitution...
...But I keep it in my breast pocket next to my vanity mirror...
...the aristocratic families!— did seek to rein in the power of the king...
...And did I mention Runnymede...
...The Constitution...
...Where Cromwell fought Charles II_Charles II!—on February 16, 1642...
...Which is a strong warning against those in the White House who would seek to usurp the war-making powers of this body, to which I have devoted my post-Klea-gle life...
...And I thinlc I will, for my egotism knows no bounds, and if I wasn't a senator I'd be alone at Denny's eating dinner at 4:30...
...Written by Madison, Jay, Hamilton, and all the rest in Philadelphia, which lies at the 41st degree latitude, and comprises the largest city in the state of Pennsylvania...
...And in this way we stand in defense of the Constitution...
...For I have served the Consti-tution—I, Robert C. Byrd...
...And so is it with us few who stand here on the floor of this great body as Horatio stood at the bridge over the Tiber—I believe it was on the 13th day in the month of Mars by the old Roman calendar, two-hundred-aught-six Anno Domini...
...It was on the island of Runnymede, on June 15, 1215, that the lords of England—the barons...
...Horatio, like the few of us here today, stood in defense of high principle...
...AM so let me take this opportunity to cite Livy, who in his fourth discourse declares, "Crescat Orthodontia, Vita Tomi Lasorda...
...But I think it is not ungermane to recall in this chamber the graM story of the Magna Carta...
...Yes, we few, we happy few—to cite Petrarch—we stand against the onslaught of the mighty tide...
...Why do we shut off debate, for my vanity knows no bounds and the sound of my own voice does thrill me like a summer breeze...
...I have other dates in my head and I could go on...
...King Henry IV...
...C" is the third letter of the alphabet, between "D," which is the first letter of "democracy," and "B," which is the first letter of "blowhard...
...And I say to my Right Honorable friends as Caesar said to his friend Brutus on the way to the forum, "Why the rush...

Vol. 8 • October 2002 • No. 6


 
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