Parody

Parody Dennis Kucinich and Carol Moseley-Braun announce candidacies for Democratic presidential nomination. —News Item San Diego Chicken Joins Democratic Field So Does Siegfried, But Not Roy By...

...And Dennis Kucinich has yet to cement his hold on liberal New Hampshire Catholics who are pro-life in odd-numbered years...
...The Republicans don't have even one presidential contender who thinks he is Napoleon," McAuliffe exulted...
...Dick Gephardt meanwhile has surged to the head of the 2,345-per-son pack, winning the support of Democratic primary voters who remain, against all the pressures in their party, in full command of their faculties...
...News Item San Diego Chicken Joins Democratic Field So Does Siegfried, But Not Roy By Susan Page USA TODAY The already crowded contest for the Democratic nomination for the presidency grew even more stuffed today as the San Diego Chicken and Vegas lion-tamer Siegfried announced the formation of exploratory committees...
...Democratic national chairman Terry McAuliffe pronounced himself delighted with the quality of the field, despite the fact that it has recently become clear that community mental health facilities across the country are using the Democratic primary campaign as part of their outpatient treatment programs...
...The San Diego Chicken becomes the third sports team mascot to enter the race, following the Philly Fanatic and the guy with the big head who appears at Duke basketball home games...
...Meanwhile, other Democratic insiders believe that the race is becoming too compartmentalized...
...When Tawana Brawley announced her bid, she clearly cut into Al Sharpton's effort to win support among Iowa voters looking for a disgraced liar guilty of fabricating rape charges against New York officials...
...Meanwhile, Siegfried is expected to cut into much of the support Wayne Newton was expected to get in early western and mountain state primaries...

Vol. 8 • March 2003 • No. 24


 
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