Parody
Parody Bush Moves to Trim Size of Government BY THOMAS B. EDSALL Washington Post StaffWriter The era of Hefty Chic is over. Following the resignations of John DiIulio, Harvey Pitt, and Lawrence...
...Others believe the fitness craze is hurting U.S...
...Running is for sissies...
...Do you think it’s an acci dent that John Snow and Stephen Friedman were forced to wear Spandex to their job interviews...
...I call it the tyranny of the Mayberry Jack LaLanes," says John Engler, the Michigan governor who was passed over for a top White House post...
...the president has reportedly told his staff, referring to the once famine-torn nation...
...Karl Rove was unavailable for comment...
...President Bush, whose Secret Service code name is Stairmaster, reportedly keeps a chart of the collective White House fat-to-body-mass ratio in his desk...
...foreign policy...
...Others believe the purge of the portly begins at the top...
...I want to see ribs...
...He’s being undermined by the Bulimics,” says a White House staffer, referring to the cabal of ultra-thin, ultra-fit aides surrounding the president...
...I want an administration that looks like Ethiopia...
...This administration is going to be a lean, mean fighting machine.' The thin initiative has caused concern in GOP circles...
...Following the resignations of John DiIulio, Harvey Pitt, and Lawrence Lindsey, Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham, the final member of the Axis of Cholesterol, is under intense pressure to step down from the Bush administration...
...He’s found his mission and his moment,” one senior administration official declares...
...They really need to focus more on upper body work," says the State Department's Richard Armitage...
Vol. 8 • December 2002 • No. 15
