Parody
Parody Hans Blix's team of U.N. weapons inspectors arrived in Baghdad to begin their work. —News Item The Journals of Hans Blix November 26, 2002 Dear Diary, The inspections in Iraq are going...
...Tomorrow the whole team and I return to New York to see if I left my card "key" at the U.N...
...The elevator banks in this place are really hard to find...
...We landed yesterday at Saddam Hussein International Airport and Reactor Facility and the reception was just glorious...
...That meant trying to climb in the window, but it turns out the windows do not have levers on the outside...
...The funny thing about Iraq is it looks just like that country I was in about 12 years ago, when I was also looking for nuclear weapons...
...headquarters...
...The Iraqis do not appear to have hidden any weapons of mass destruction in any section of the waffle area...
...They even closed the curtains cause they didn’t want the sun in our eyes...
...Absolutely clean...
...There was a slight problem in that the hotel lost our reservations, but I told them that the Motel 6 on the edge of Baghdad is just as convenient anyway...
...Absolutely no warning...
...News Item The Journals of Hans Blix November 26, 2002 Dear Diary, The inspections in Iraq are going great...
...Then I assembled the team and we raided the breakfast buffet...
...I wanted to get right to work, so I sniffed the complimentary hand lotion bottle in the bathroom...
...I tell you, this new technology is just amazing...
...They give you a plastic card to unlock the door...
...We whizzed right through...
...Then they don’t even give you a room key...
...There was a big crowd and a banner that read "Welcome North Korean Nerve Gas," which turned out to be for the next cargo flight, not for us...
...I notice these things...
...Ours was the shortest...
...Next I locked myself out of my room...
...Also my glasses are missing...
...They have one customs line for Iraqis, one for us foreigners, and one for Russian nuclear scientists...
...A blitzkrieg...
...I searched for hours before I learned that the hotel is all on one level...
...Then they stuck us in these awesome limos, to whisk us to our hotel...
...We inspected the muffin rack and the scrambled egg tray...
Vol. 8 • December 2002 • No. 13
