Scrapbook
Scrapbook Press Release of the Week Or maybe it's the press release of the whole dang year. We'll let you decide. It's datelined Toronto, November 21. And no, we're not making this up: A...
...Isn't Beelzebub, He's Just a Corleone—But Michael or Fredo...
...Let's have a look at this "fifth column" business Gore refers to...
...Our ideal candidate is someone with excellent design sense and strong production skills...
...It's the combination of narcissism and nihilism that really defines postmodernism...
...The coalition, Rooting Out Evil, are recruiting inspectors through their newly launched website, www.rootingoutevil.org...
...In American journalism today, Gore now tells Josh Benson of the New York Observer, "there are some major institutional voices that are, truthfully speaking, part and parcel of the Republican party...
...Help Wanted THE WEEKLY STANDARD is looking to fill two positions...
...The president entered office as Fredo, hapless and feeble: "I'm smart...
...And Now Some Homegrown Comedy You noticed, perhaps, how Al Gore recently insisted to the Washington Post Magazine that had the true wishes of every Florida voter been perfectly expressed at the polls in 2000, then the fact that he is actually president of the United States right now wouldn't be such a well-kept secret...
...Saddam has to be handled with a little more finesse than Afghanistan...
...Fox News Network, the Washington Times, Rush Lim-baugh...
...THE SCRAPBOOK knew that it was him all along...
...Instead, Bush is a Cor-leone-family son from the Godfather...
...That would be the coup d'etat that Republicans have lately effected in the U.S...
...media...
...Surely President Gore will want to have his new Department of Homeland Security look into the matter without delay...
...But in a very shrewd way...
...Gore has his own answer...
...Expertise in QuarkXPress and Photoshop is required...
...Most of the media [have] been slow to recognize the pervasive impact of this fifth column in their ranks...
...You never know...
...On the basis of President Bush's guidelines, it is clear that the current U.S...
...For much of the Left," Rosenbaum writes, "dissent has degenerated into nothing more than incoherent, impotent Bush hatred...
...Ho, ho, ho...
...Fascinating...
...Okay, so the man makes a few technical errors...
...That's pretty good, don't you think...
...That I'm dumb...
...That's postmodernism," he says...
...Our action has been inspired by none other than George W. Bush," said Christy Ferguson, a spokesperson for the group...
...side by Americans who favor kicking them right in the ass...
...The enemy within...
...So that's what that is...
...And here's one that's even better: Rosenbaum's real-world casting suggestion for who should play Senator Pat Geary, the sleazeball pol from Godfather II is...
...Bush is not, in fact, the Devil, he writes...
...It could happen, we guess...
...In which case "we will be greeted on the U.S...
...It works like this, according to Rosenbaum: The president "realizes the time has come to 'settle all family business' with terrorists...
...grant our inspectors immediate and unfettered access to any site in the country—including all presidential compounds—so that we can identify weapons of mass destruction in this rogue state," added David Langille...
...Pre-press and advertising production experience is a plus, as is expertise in QuarkXPress, Photoshop, and Adobe Acrobat...
...Bluffing a unilateral move . . . but bluffing it so compellingly that he gets the multilateralists of the world to join in on the dismantling of Saddam in order to prevent that crazy Sonny from knocking over the beautiful, multilateral house of cards they believe in...
...1) Production Assistant...
...We refer, in particular, to Ron Rosenbaum's latest New York Observer essay, "W...
...Well, the secrets they are a-pouring out it seems, and the latest one to burst is that something has gone Terribly Wrong in President Gore's America...
...Ha, ha, ha...
...Readers curious to judge for themselves the extent to which the Republican party dominates cable news broadcasting might wish to watch any random five minutes—take your pick—of CNN...
...And this one, too, from the organization's aforementioned website: If the Bush administration refuses to comply with this latest peacecanuck demand, then "we will assemble as many volunteer weapons inspectors as possible at a major border crossing between the U.S...
...Our ideal candidate for this position is detail-minded and well organized, with substantial computer skills...
...We're following Bush's lead and demanding that the U.S...
...Gore is the only political professional in the universe who believes that the Washington Times has a "pervasive impact...
...2) Assistant Art Director...
...We thought it was just a reflection of the fact that Al Gore is a world-class weenie...
...But Rosenbaum has developed a certain grudging respect for the president...
...Al Gore...
...Rush Limbaugh speaks for no "institution" except his own...
...The actual inspection team that crosses the border will be comprised of prominent individuals from Canada and other countries...
...Mail resume, work samples, and cover letter with salary requirements to Personnel Department, THE WEEKLY STANDARD, 1150 17th St., NW, Suite 505, Washington, DC 20036...
...The Scrap-book especially likes that wry little joke about "prominent individuals from Canada...
...Things We Hate Film critic David Denby, writing in the November 11 New Yorker about 8 Mile, the allegedly inspirational rap-from-poverty movie starring the allegedly witty guttermouth Eminem: "People who are convinced that Eminem is destroying America might want to consider the delicacy of the white-black friendships in '8 Mile.' (Perhaps the specter of such friendships is what right-wingers actually hate most...
...But which one...
...at the next election...
...So George W. gets the world thinking he's morphed from Fredo to Sonny—the hotheaded unilateralist, so to speak—but it's really Michael running the show...
...On the other hand, they might be greeted on the U.S...
...But enough nitpicking...
...side by Americans who favor true global cooperation, an end to weapons of mass destruction, and a regime change in the U.S...
...on a mission of peace...
...Later, though, after 9/11, Bush "began demonstrating some of the sagacity of Michael...
...administration poses a great threat to global security," said Ferguson...
...Are purportedly right-leaning media operations committing treason...
...And while they're at it, Tom Ridge's boys will surely also be eager to investigate what the Observer's Benson was cheeky enough to ask Gore about directly: "the ceaseless lampooning he continues to face from America's columnists and commentators...
...Yes...
...But here's a hint: We're not crazy about smirking New Yorker critics...
...And no, we're not making this up: A coalition of Canadian peace groups today announced their intention to send an international team of volunteer weapons inspectors into the United States later this winter...
...Not like everyone says I am...
...Or e-mail to scrapbook@weeklystandard.com...
...Um, actually no, Dave, that's not even close to what we hate most...
...and Canada and attempt to cross into the U.S...
...Also in the Observer We admit it: There's nothing we relish more than watching the Left give itself a poke in the eye...
Vol. 8 • December 2002 • No. 13
