Parody
Parody The Today show NBC News Transcript November 22, 2002 Friday AL GORE SEGMENT COURIC:We're now joined by former Vice President AL Gore whohas written a new book .Joined At the Heart: My...
...GORE:Yes,I’ve reluctantly concluded that in order to address the problems facing thisnation,we will have to establish a dictatorship of the proletariat,nationalize the means ofproduction,and establish Communist party dominance over all aspects of national life...
...COURIC:And you’ve taken some daring policy positions...
...COURIC:You’ll be running as the mixed metaphor candidate...
...COURIC:Thanks for being with us,Mr.Vice President.Next on Today:women who shavetheir legs too often.We’ll be right back after these messages...
...COURIC:Some are calling this a shift to the left...
...GORE:I haven’t made that determination.But if I do,I will speak from the heart and let thechips fall where they may.I will leave no stone unturned even if it means breaking a feweggs along the route...
...Parody The Today show NBC News Transcript November 22, 2002 Friday AL GORE SEGMENT COURIC:We're now joined by former Vice President AL Gore whohas written a new book .Joined At the Heart: My LoveAffau with Myself...
...Good to see you again, Mr...
...COURIC:It sounds as if you are running for president...
...GORE:I reject those old labels of left and right.I see this as a spontaneous Stalinism for thetwenty-first century or a pragmatic totalitarianism of the heart.You see,one of the thingspeople don’t understand is that I actually won the last election.I received 57 percent of thevote,and,if you add up the electoral votes a certain way,I got a clear majority.Before theSupreme Court intervened,you see,something very interesting was becoming clear inFlorida...
...GORE:Thanks.I wish I could say that it is good to be here,but when you have an adminis-tration that is conducting the most disastrous economic policy since Nero,that has lostevery battle in the war on terror,and that,with its corporate cronies,is raping the environ-ment and starving our children,it is hard to feel good about anything...
...GORE:I’ve decided to reinvent myself as a sincere person.We’ve done some focus groupsand we’ve got several spontaneous,from-the-heart events planned over the next fewmonths.This book tour and coming-out campaign is part of that spontaneous,unscripted strategy...
Vol. 8 • December 2002 • No. 12
