Casual
Hayes, Stephen
Casual IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN BAY The drive from Door County, Wisconsin, where I am vacationing, to Green Bay takes about an hour. The trip is an early morning blur of taverns, cows, gas...
...It's also an understatement...
...But with some persistence (apologies to PR assistant Sarah Koenig), I've managed to finagle on-field credentials...
...until noon, offering $350 for one ticket...
...I wouldn't fly to Japan just to see the Packers, should they ever play the annual preseason opener there...
...Or even a scrimmage...
...My dad had me perform this trick anytime someone new came to the house...
...The thousands of fans aren't here to watch a championship game...
...Before I was two years old—not a misprint—I could recite the names and numbers of the Packers' entire starting defense...
...Today I am committing press pass abuse...
...And I would never write an embarrassing article detailing my obsession on the off-chance that a fellow junkie might read the piece and offer, say, tickets to the Packers-Jets game in New York on December 29...
...This is how most Packers travel the two blocks from their locker room to the practice field...
...The kid has his arms around Barry's neck—actually halfway around, because that's as far as his arms will reach...
...He is wearing Barry's oversized helmet, and as Barry navigates a curb, the little boy looks remarkably like a real-life bobble-head doll...
...Standing on pegs extending out from the back axle is a little boy of six or seven years...
...Ten minutes later, the police shut down a traffic lane on Onei-da Street, because the fans—now ten-deep—are spilling over the curb...
...The wind-chill factor was thirty below zero...
...While I managed several free beers, no one would part with a ticket...
...I can identify...
...I wouldn't name my first son Cletidus...
...Although Lambeau Field can seat more than half the population of Green Bay, the waiting list for season tickets is 60 years long...
...This leads Packers fans to go to ridiculous, sometimes unhealthy, lengths to get tickets...
...It's almost a reflex...
...Moments later, Brett Favre, the league's only three-time MVP rounds the corner enveloped in a running throng of several hundred kids, many of whom are trying to pat him on the back as he rides...
...Even now, I screw up, and then it's "Jim Carter, Charlie Hall, . . ." For some fans, training camp may be their only chance to see the Packers in the flesh...
...There's no actual professional reason for my presence...
...I wouldn't pay more than $5,000 for a Super Bowl ticket...
...The Packers are expected to do well this year, but fans showed up in similar numbers throughout the '70s and '80s, when their quarterbacks threw like girls, and wins were as rare as a pregame tailgate without brats or beer...
...There are limits, though, to what I'll do to sate my appetite for all things Packers...
...I wore my old moon boots in public...
...I wandered around the parking lot from 8 a.m...
...I loved the attention and accolades that came with each recitation...
...It is a cliché to say that Green Bay Packers football is an obsession...
...His legs splay out to the sides and his 6'4" frame overwhelms the tiny dirt bike beneath him like a circus clown on a tricycle...
...Or a regular season game...
...STEPHEN F. HAYES...
...The trip is an early morning blur of taverns, cows, gas station-cheese shops, red barns, and lots of church signs...
...Lucifer is nowhere to be found at 8:15 a.m...
...In January 1997, I flew to Green Bay from Washington to see the Packers play the Carolina Panthers for the NFC Championship...
...Local kids line up—sometimes hours in advance—for the privilege of having a Packer borrow their bike...
...on this steamy mid August weekday in Green Bay, although one person standing across from Lambeau Field is ^ wearing a Chicago Bears T-shirt...
...An aside to Packers fans reading that last paragraph: I know you're wondering what, exactly, were the ridiculous lengths I went to for the tickets...
...And in case the Devil himself cruises Highway 57, the deacons of another chapel have a message for him: "Satan, You are the Weakest Link...
...It was a hit, so I began using this ruse anytime I was in a rough spot...
...They're here for a morning session of preseason practice...
...These workouts sometimes draw more fans than you'd find at a Florida Marlins home game...
...Around 8:30 a.m., offensive guard Kevin Barry, who weighs at least 325 pounds, comes pedaling around a row of cars in the Lambeau Field parking lot...
...This is the highlight of my Packers passion and my journalism career...
...Even today, I'll abandon longheld principles just to satisfy my Packers urges...
...I watched the game at a nearby friend's house with something near $350 worth of Pabst and pizza...
...Four thousand "railbirds" are vying for a view of the crisply mowed field on the other side of the chain-link fence...
...The Holy Name of Mary advertises its "Polka Mass...
...Goodbye...
...If I didn't want to eat my veggies, I'd begin listing the defensive line...
...I'd grab random passers-by at the grocery store and regale them with my knowledge...
Vol. 7 • August 2002 • No. 47
