Parody

Parody Last week, prosecutors had said they were reluctant to charge Philadelphia 76ers guard Allen Iverson with forcing his way, armed, into an apartment, and threatening two men. Iverson claimed...

...And consummate professionalism...
...Simpson tiling all out See IVERSON on A18...
...McGillicuddy said...
...said an outraged McGillicuddy when one reporter questioned him about a "bulge" that Charles Jones claimed to have seen in Iverson's waistband...
...With grace...
...News Item Totally Innocent...
...Ever since people blew this O.J...
...And the Answer is a man whose judgment has been the firm founds of Sixers success when the game is on the line...
...At the same time Men's family has its needs, too...
...And poise...
...He's a gmer," Mr McGillicuddy explained...
...It's a judgment call...
...Iverson's person, McGillicuddy, a Sixers season-ticket holder noted that the lion's share of a prosecutor's job was to keep such thhigs in perspective...
...IVERSON from A1 curat lex," district attorney spokesrarn J°e "Dr...
...The local district attorney insisted the 27-year-old Iverson "would receive no special treatment...
...Just let him play next year...
...J." McGillicuddy continued, exptota-ing that the thermonuclear devto Mr...
...Nobody likes taking money fr^ starving children," Mr...
...If you've seen him handle the give 'n go with, like, two seconds left on the shot clock, like in Game 3 against the Celts . . . wel I've got to believe he's got the manual dratenty to handle anything our arms industry can dish out...
...Who am I to quarrel with what God gave him...
...As for the entire proceeds of the Save the Children fund, which were allegedly found on Mr...
...It's a tragedy...
...Iver-son was carrying at the time °f the alleged incident was only a "tactical" nuclear weapon, scarcely as large as the one used to mcinerate Hiroshima...
...Iverson claimed the men knew the whereabouts of his wife, whom he'd just thrown out of his apartment during a fight...

Vol. 7 • July 2002 • No. 43


 
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