Parody
Parody The Book of John and Russ Chapter I 1 And verily President George summoned the House of McCain and the House of Feingold to his great house, and the Rainesians, the McGrorys, the Rathers,...
...And Senator Feingold moved through the loBBies of the Capitol and poured out the donors of money and upset their taBles, shouting, "Get Thee Behind Me, Patton Boggs...
...And the enemies of righteousness were laid low, the National Restaurant Association, the National Association of Home Builders, the Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America, for they were unclean...
...3 And all the soft money donors were loaded with the sins of the nation——the sin of pride, of avarice, of gluttony at the Palm, and of Gucci aBuse—and they were Banished from the kingdom and set to wander in the wilderness—all except the Unions, for they giveth to Democratic Candidates and are thus righteous and free of sin...
...6 And from that day forth no politician did think of himself or herself, or of his or her donors, or any special interest of any kind...
...And he did himself write a $2,000 check, and an anonymous $10 million check also to the NAACP Secret Attack Fund to run ads against Mitch McConnell...
...Heaven is upon the Earth...
...McCain-Feingold has passed...
...And Peter Angelos arrived and declared, "Let him who is without sin maketh the first hard money donation...
...And when President George put his mark upon the Bilí, the heavens opened up and angels and cherubs came down with trumpets Blaring...
...Clean was the mark of the Capitol, and empty were the campaign coffers of the challengers...
...And a voice thundered down, "Removeth Your Shoes, for Fred Wertheimer is amongst you," and Fred did walketh amongst the multitude of reporters who didst fawn upon him...
...Parody The Book of John and Russ Chapter I 1 And verily President George summoned the House of McCain and the House of Feingold to his great house, and the Rainesians, the McGrorys, the Rathers, Brokaws, andJenningses were there also...
...For the Age of McCain-Feingold had arrived, and wise was the way of the Congress, pristine was the soul of the Senate Finance Committee, selfless was the way of Judiciary, and saintly was the path of Ways and Means...
...Hallelujah...
...And all sang Hallelujah...
...4 And in the heavens all the incumbents did rejoice, for the day of paradise had arrived...
...And Christopher Shays, a Republican But a reasonable one, ascended in a cloud of glory surrounded By angels and editorial writers and Al Hunt also...
...2 And soft money was Banished from the Earth...
...5 And Feingold turned to McCain and to Dodd also, and declared, "Gone is the Fruit of the Sin of Self-interest, and Risen are We to Purity, at least in our own minds, and so let us deliberate liberally upon the legislation...
...Banished are you, at least for the last 60 days Before an election...
Vol. 7 • April 2002 • No. 28
