Casual
MATUS, VICTORINO
Casual SHEAR AGONY A good barber is hard to find. Sometimes when you do find the right guy, one of you ends up moving away. Other times, you decide the person just isn't that good and so you look...
...The place was permanently cluttered with "men's" magazines (a staple in many barber shops), a chess board, and a guitar...
...Only in the hair," insisted my barber, Ismael...
...This is where it gets tricky...
...He had open heart surgery and lost a kidney...
...Some speculated he was a bookie...
...Still, I never had to tell him what to do...
...I've gone through about ten hair-cutters in my life, starting with my mother, who favored the bowl look...
...Until recently, my barber was a young guy named Mike...
...Eventually I moved to another part of town and found someone else out of convenience...
...You strike up a conversation...
...And then there's "The Watergate," which includes a massage, a business manicure, a haircut, and a complimentary shoeshine—for the unbelievably low price of $155...
...I guarantee you'll make eye contact...
...He claimed to have cut both Robert Kennedy and Bill Clinton's hair back in the 1960s (but on his wall hung a portrait of Ronald Reagan...
...One of my colleagues walked into the Lounge the other day and found out a haircut costs $40...
...Joe was one of the few people left who listened to AM radio—for music...
...Odds /f are, you will never see each other again...
...Or who he or she is currently seeing...
...And who knows, maybe a month passes and the stylist starts to wonder if you are growing your hair long or if you found someone else—someone better...
...Joe had a leathery face, a raspy voice, and hair like a greaser...
...Joe used to say a lot of things except when he was on the phone...
...I realized I could never see Mike again...
...And then it gets personal...
...Still, Ismael is personable, honest, and affordable—at $17 a pop...
...Unfortunately, Mike moved to a new place called the Grooming Lounge...
...When you get your hair cut by the same person every few weeks, you don't sit there quietly...
...I thought this was merely a reference to the three barbers' land of origin...
...It starts with small talk about the weather and moves on to sports and then work...
...In that case he would mumble, "Barber shop . . . I told you not to call me here...
...I'll call you later...
...The place is a modern-looking salon, but these guys are all old school...
...There isn't even a phone call...
...There wasn't anything special about the way Joe cut hair, but when it was over, he would lather up some shaving cream and trim around your ears and the back of your neck with a straight-edge...
...Since then, I've found only a few good barbers...
...But when I was sitting there for my first cut, a customer walked in and his first words really were, "Viva Puerto Rico...
...You know you can't do this in New York," he once said, "because they're afraid of getting AIDS...
...They argue with each other about the news or anything else on their minds...
...The other day, the discussion was whether or not traces of arsenic can be found on a corpse...
...You just stop showing up...
...But best of all was the price: $8, which he rang up on an outdated cash register...
...What more can you ask for...
...No, it looks nice," she would insist...
...One of them was an old Italian named Joe Maggi, whose shop was in Georgetown...
...Sure, it doesn't include a pedicure or a massage, but I do get a trim around the edges using a straight-edged blade...
...In time, Joe's body got the better of him...
...And that's just for starters...
...When you break up with your hairdresser, though, there's no going out for coffee and telling the other party that it's over...
...It becomes a relationship...
...And the radio was always on...
...According to their brochure, you can get "The Commander in Chief"—"A business manicure will make his hands look professional while a foot treatment will soothe his 'barking dogs'"—for $74...
...But if you must, walk at a brisk pace and never, ever turn your head to look in...
...Pretty soon you know how much your barber drank the night before...
...Some of my friends suggested a nearby cuttery ' i called "Viva Puerto Rico...
...He knew exactly how to cut my hair, though it cost $25...
...Somewhere in between, his wife passed away...
...The Grooming Lounge was too lavish for me...
...VICTORINO MATUS...
...Other times, you decide the person just isn't that good and so you look for someone new...
...I did try to call him last week, but his line had been disconnected...
...I look like a girl," I would complain...
...It's like Dorothy Hamill...
...He would even sharpen it on an old leather strap...
...It was good to return to an old barber shop, though nothing compares to Joe's...
...My advice is to avoid walking past the old place...
Vol. 7 • March 2002 • No. 27
