Parody
Parody "Why, during one of the most trying periods in U.S. history over the past I half-century, would the mandarins of the West Wing interrupt their normal \ course of business to allow our team...
...Armani . . . Prada . . . Versace," Bush was barking out the designers...
...What we want is a series of bold, magnetic images," Carter began...
...We're going to run this picture opposite a shot of Osama bin Laden...
...Members of the staff of Vanity Fair were coming to the White House...
...The staff of Vanity Fair, unaware that Washington, D.C., was not part of Washington Square Park, was five hours late...
...I'm racing 89 beats a minute," he noted...
...Steady, Dick...
...On one side, America: physically fit, really nice haircuts, Ken Cole ties...
...On the other side, Osama and the Taliban: puffy, dry skin, unkempt...
...It's a Betsey Johnson," she explained...
...The president was up early, studying his briefing book for the meeting...
...Cheney checked his heart monitor...
...Which one of you is President Bush...
...Andrew Card, sir...
...The wait was long...
...You're babbling," the president said, trying to appear calm...
...President, good morning...
...The president raised his hand nervously...
...We can handle this...
...If the subject of Meg Ryan comes up, let me do all the talking...
...The room was hushed, redolent of the Sean PennMadonna wedding...
...He felt confident and prepared...
...Photographer Annie Leibovitz had also arrived...
...The White House staff was putty in his hands...
...Very DKNY...
...Laura Bush was holding up flash cards with different styles of women's pumps...
...To me you say 'Middle-aged White Guy.' I'm picturing something younger, sexier...
...Okay...
...The two sides eyed each other nervously...
...history over the past I half-century, would the mandarins of the West Wing interrupt their normal \ course of business to allow our team to roam the halls, rig lights, and set up makeshift studios...
...And because, I like to think, the pages of Vanity Fair, more than any other two-dimensional space in our culture, have taken on a status equivalent to the High Sierra of the Public Image...
...More than any other two-dimensional space in Western civilization, the pages of Vanity Fair had taken on the stature of the Mount Pinatubo of the Public Image, and everybody at the White House was slightly intimidated...
...A set of images that really captures what this war is about...
...Finally, Carter and his crew surged into the Cabinet Room, just steps from the Oval Office...
...Because it's not just strength but images of strength that matter in this 21st-century war...
...More than any other one-dimensional person in our culture, Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter has achieved the status of the Grand Canyon of the Glossy Image...
...The vice president came in early...
...You . . . What's your name...
...Give him really splotchy skin...
...Get out...
...What...
...he barked...
...I've got the NSA checking up on Brad Pitt's heterosexuality...
...Edgy but Evil...
...Really well groomed...
...Graydon Carter, Editor's Letter, Vanity Fair, February 2002 THE MEETING BOB WOODWARD CHAPTER 8: VF DAY December 3, 2001, dawned bright and clear...
...Just then, Condoleezza Rice entered the room in a bright orange rag-style miniskirt with a lemon yellow chiffon blouse...
...It was the crucial day of the war...
...We're going to shoot him from below, so it looks like he has two chins...
...More than any two-dimensional space in Western Civilization, the pages of Vanity Fair had achieved the status of the Mount Everest of Trivialization...
...The room was silent...
...Remember when Carter comes in, just compliment him about his hair...
...Doesn't Rob Lowe work here...
Vol. 7 • February 2002 • No. 20
