Parody

...In an interview on the CNN television program "Evans, Novak, Hunt, Shields, Gigot, Broder, Huffington, Carlson, Press, Lofton, Sobran and Kaczynski" (which airs on CNN Saturdays at 6 p.m...

...In fact, a top secret meeting, which included several Washington insiders with close ties to the Bush administration, was held Tuesday to lay the groundwork for a much bolder solution: a supply-side Islamist regime under the leadership of a new spiritual guide, Ayatollah Wanniski...

...Sources close to the meeting report that Mr...

...Rove, who cuts a dashing figure in Washington with his lithe figure and his piercing blue eyes, agreed that The McLaughlin Group isn't nearly the show it was when a certain Prince of Darkness roamed the set and further declared that McLaughlin himself is a total pr...

...respected Islamic leader Louis Far-rakhan insisted that the next Afghan regime must be led by someone who is strongly pro-Muslim, and endorsed Mohammed Yasser Fatwa Wanniski (formerly Jude) as a prime candidate who could restore the prominence of sharia, or holy law, while reducing the Afghan capital gains tax rate...

...Shares on the main Afghan exchange surged on the news, with the prime index, the Kabul Industrial Average, finishing the day of trading at 1, up from 0, where the index had languished for the previous 19 centuries...

...Participants at this meeting, which included such proven visionaries as Jack Kemp, Bret Schundler and former University of Maryland basketball coach Lefty Driesell, are adamant that the next regime in Afghanistan must reject the ruinous monetary policies of Alan Greenspan and instead tie the Afghan currency, the fitwid, to gold—or to a basket of commodities at the very least...

...Parody Robert D. Novak Prince of Darkness at Noon Striped-pants careerists at the State Department are pushing the United States to install a multi-ethnic federation in place of Taliban rule in Afghanistan, but patriots are rallying to thwart their plans...

...In a closed-door meeting with Treasury Secretary-in-waiting Lawrence Lindsey, Wanniski pledged himself to a platform of term limits (he would serve no more than 4 jihads) and a foreign policy aimed at upholding the principles of the late Roberto D'Aubuisson of El Salvador, aka "Jack Kemp with a gun...

...Meanwhile, elsewhere in the world, the state of Israel continued its long-standing effort to lure the United States into conflicts in parts of the world where it has no national interests (such as lower Manhattan) and the weak-kneed nancy boys in the Republican caucus continued to cave in to porkbar-rel spending pressures from Richard Gephardt, while neglecting legitimate national concerns, such as full funding for federal programs to insure strategically located summer homes in shoreline areas such as Fenwick Island, Delaware...

...If you are going to have death squads, they might as well be right-wing death squads," Ayatollah Wanniski told this journalist during a top secret television interview on Knee to Knee with Robert Novak (which used to appear on the Empowerment Television Network, then on the Renaissance Network, and is now being considered for a coveted spot on Al Jazeera...

...Rove acknowledged that America remains threatened, even after the fall of the Taliban, chiefly because of the fact that Richard Darman is still permitted to walk the streets as a free man, instead of being convicted of treason and locked away in a rat-infested prison...

...Wanniski, who also endorsed zero tax rates on all Corvette purchases, then met with the most brilliant man on the face of the earth, Karl Rove...