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Parody Resume ALBERT GORE MAN OF THE PEOPLE MASSACHUSETTS AVE., NW WASHINGTON, DC Career Goal To make my father posthumously proud of me by becoming President of the United...
...served as inspiration to Nelson Mandela during long years of captivity...
...emerged as savior to Hebrews with Vp selection...
...co-author, "Letter from a Birmingham Jail" Education *Attended both public and private schools *St Albans (valedictorian, homecoming king, captain of football team) *Harvard (Heisman Trophy, 1967, model for the novel "Love Story") *Read Stendhal and other French writers (really) Military Service *Enlisted so another boy wouldn't have to go in my place ; *Colonel U.S...
...hugged fire vcttra in Texas...
...never had fundraiser in Buddhist temple *Presidential candidate: revealed to country that Bill Bradley is a racist...
...worked with Ronald Reagan to end Cold War with proposal for Midgetman missile *Vice President: reinvented government...
...in Selma...
...served as model for Funeral Oration by Pericles Motto Honesty Is the Best Policy...
...emerged with unquenchable thirst for campaign-finance reform Public Service *Journalist: uncovered bribery scandal...
...Martin Luther Kmg Jr...
...cleaned up Love Canal with a sponge...
...Marine Corps (model for films, "Apocalypse Now" "Saving private Ryan ) *Prisoner of War, six years, Hanoi Hilton...
...licked wife s tonsils on national television...
...arrest with Dr...
...Ufted up poor and unfortunate Real People幼an collectors, deskless students, etc...
...Parody Resume ALBERT GORE MAN OF THE PEOPLE MASSACHUSETTS AVE., NW WASHINGTON, DC Career Goal To make my father posthumously proud of me by becoming President of the United States Experience *Grew up dirt poor on a farm in Tennessee (which never grew tobacco) *Milked cows, cleared land, laid rail, and performed other manly tasks *Taught self Latin, Greek, Aramaic, Hebrew, and Arabc m order to read Holy Scriptures in original languages *Registered African-American voters in Mississippi...
...created Strategy petroleum Reserve, pumping it full with my own hands...
...sent entire Tennessee legislature to jail *Landlord: offer Habitat-for-Humanity style homes for underprivileged Tennessee residents *Member of Congress: invented Internet...
Vol. 6 • October 2000 • No. 5
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