Parody
Parody San Francisco Chronicle executive editor Phil Bronstein was attacked by a Komodo dragon after he entered the giant lizard's cage during a private tour of the Los Angeles Zoo arranged by his...
...According to eyewitnesses, the ten-foot-long Indonesian lizard was dozing in his cage, "minding his own business," when the celebrity editor entered the cage with Stone and a zoo curator...
...Have you ever seen Sharon Stone at seven o'clock in the morning...
...The two celebrities were on a special VIP tour of zoo facilities early Saturday morning...
...What he's been through, no humane person could wish that on anybody," said the spokesman...
...And he's clearly grossed out...
...If that thing had stayed in his mouth ten seconds longer, this zoo would be minus one Komodo dragon," said a zoo official...
...What happened next is unclear, according to knowledgeable sources, but somehow the lizard's mouth suddenly became filled with Bronstein's foot...
...You'd freak, too...
...Sharon Stone" since his marriage to the movie sex queen, occurred early yesterday morning at the Los Angeles zoo...
...But he is one tough lizard...
...The incident between the lizard and celebrity editor Bronstein, more widely known as "Mr...
...The hospital has been deluged with telephone calls and e-mails expressing sympathy for the five-year-old lizard, who was resting comfortably last night, according to a Cedars-Sinai spokesman...
...Zoo officials were able to distract Bronstein long enough for the lizard to get away...
...Emergency medical technicians arrived immediately, sources said, and had to step over Bronstein to administer assistance to the lizard, who was transported to Cedars-Sinai Hospital by medi-vac helicopter...
...The lizard responded by thrashing its body back and forth in an apparent attempt to free himself from the celebrity editor...
...It was disgusting," said the source...
...The poor thing took one look at Stone and just freaked," one source said...
...Bronstein could not be reached for comment...
...Now he just needs a little time and space for healing...
...Parody San Francisco Chronicle executive editor Phil Bronstein was attacked by a Komodo dragon after he entered the giant lizard's cage during a private tour of the Los Angeles Zoo arranged by his wife, actress Sharon Stone...
...He's lucky to be alive," a Cedars-Sinai Hospital spokesman told a packed press briefing...
...I just thought, 'Oh my god.' A guy like Bronstein — you don't know where he's been, what he's stepped in...
...News item Giant Lizard Recovering from Celebrity Run-in LOS ANGELES—A Komodo dragon was listed in stable condition following a "harrowing" encounter with celebrity newspaper editor Philip Bronstein, a hospital spokesman said last night...
Vol. 6 • June 2001 • No. 39
