Parody
Parody On Monday, Lawrence Lindsey, Bush's chief economic adviser, arrived on time for the president to videotape a message to a banking convention, only to find that the taping had begun ahead of...
...On occasion, I may be compelled to humiliate you publicly by reversing one of your public statements...
...It is a place to reflect on how you might improve your behavior, so you don’t end up there again...
...Obviously this does not apply to calls from your broker informing you of imminent declines in the value of your stock options...
...It is therefore necessary to impose a few additional rules in order to preserve the businesslike atmosphere to which we all aspire...
...6. Frankly, I didn’t think it would be necessary to say this, but I didn’t expect to see White House staff using bright pink Post-it notes...
...7. Just because we oppose ergonomics safety regulations doesn’t mean we tolerate bad posture...
...This is not a bordello...
...5. Cell phones...
...The Detention Room is not a place to do normal work...
...2 Tardiness will not be tolerated...
...Parody On Monday, Lawrence Lindsey, Bush's chief economic adviser, arrived on time for the president to videotape a message to a banking convention, only to find that the taping had begun ahead of schedule...
...3 Walking single file: My hallway monitors (thanks, Condoleezza, you’re doing a great job...
...tell me that some staffers insist on walking down the middle of the corridors, causing congestion...
...Afterward, Bush gently upbraided his aide, saying, "Lawrence, we're the on-time administration...
...8. Breakfast Club...
...New York Times, March 11, 2001 COMPORTMENT INITIATIVE March 16, 2001 From: GWB T0: All White House Personnel 1 As you know, the Vice President and I have been grading all White House Personnel for Tidiness and Comportment on a weekly basis...
...This does not justify sniffling through the entire next cabinet meeting about how you thought I supported carbon dioxide emissions rules...
...You are not on the set of West Wing...
...Any official who arrives late to a meeting must bring a note from his sponsoring industry group or a nationally recognized corporate lobbyist...
...Frankly, we have not been pleased by what we have seen...
...Do not accept cell phone calls during meetings...
...When walking down hallways, march single file no more than 10 inches from the righthand wall, and no less than 8 inches...
...Please post...
...4. No whimpering...
...Watch Condi and imitate...
Vol. 6 • March 2001 • No. 27
