Scrapbook
Scrapbook Hide Your Daughters What with all the attention given to Bill Clinton's midnight pardon of fugitive financier Marc Rich, it's gone nearly unmentioned that Clinton simultaneously set free...
...What Do You Get If You Win...
...State representative John Lawless, a member of that committee, attended the Sex Faire with a camera crew, the better to document its educational purpose...
...I'm tired of punishing my students," Mansfield, a famously tough grader, told the Chronicle of Higher Education...
...Nominations Requested Applications are invited for the third annual Eric Breindel Award for Excellence in Journalism...
...they don't deserve it...
...Who says conservatism is dead on campus...
...And it would probably prevent your local mattress discounter from airing those horrifying commercials with the talking dollar bill...
...If so, you should make plans to attend hearings of the pennsylvania assembly's committee on appropriations later this year...
...And there is, too, an old (and non-binding) 1971 proclamation by then-President Richard Nixon encouraging us, on the thus-defiled George Washington's birthday holiday, to honor all past presidents as a group, not just the first one...
...Must have been the perjury and obstruction parts that tugged at Clinton's heartstrings...
...We're also for repealing the 1968 law and moving George Washington's Birthday back to his actual birthday, February 22, whether or not it falls on a Monday...
...Honor Richard Nixon...
...Incidentally, the Sex Faire's proposed "Tent of Consent," a hut where Penn State womyn would have been allowed two-minutes each of politically-correct petting, was cancelled by school officials...
...The sex charges involved Reynolds's affair with a 16-year-old campaign volun-teer—and a tape-recorded phone conversation in which the congressman, believing that he'd arranged an encounter with a 15-year-old Catholic high school student, uttered the immortal words: "Did I win the Lotto...
...There being no such holiday, in fact...
...Last week, as is required of such creatures by Illinois state law, Melvin J. Reynolds reported to the Chicago Police Department and submitted a photo ID...
...Half of Harvard students receive grades of A- or above, which the university maintains is not grade inflation but a reflection of the growing splendor of its student body...
...But news reports have it that the Faire involved all the usual carnival amusements: "orgasm bingo," for example, and a "pin the clitoris on the vulva" contest...
...As a service to its readers in that fair city, The Scrapbook reproduces the resulting entry on the Police Department's website database of "registered sex offenders...
...This would result, most years, in one fewer three-day weekend...
...Scrapbook Hide Your Daughters What with all the attention given to Bill Clinton's midnight pardon of fugitive financier Marc Rich, it's gone nearly unmentioned that Clinton simultaneously set free one Melvin J. Reynolds of Chicago, Illinois—for "humanitarian" reasons, according to various (and oddly anonymous) defenders of the move...
...But it would better honor the father of our country...
...Nosiree, says The Scrapbook...
...The unofficial one would be the mark he thinks they deserve...
...It is presented each year to the columnist, editorialist, or reporter whose work best reflects the spirit of Breindel's too-short career: love of country, concern for the preservation and integrity of democratic institutions, and resistance to the evils of totalitarianism...
...On February 3, a Penn State University student group called Wom-yn's Concerns—in conjunction with that school's Women's Studies Program—held its second annual "Sex Faire...
...Unlike "orgasm bingo"—or Womyn's Concerns' November 2000 "C-ntfest" arts show—the "Tent of Consent" just seemed too...
...Wouldn't you know, The Scrap-book had to study for a spelling test and couldn't go...
...We're quite sure the resulting footage will come in handy when penn State administrators next beseech Har-risburg—in the name of academic stan-dards—for a substantial funding increase...
...The awardee in 1999 was columnist Jeff Jacoby of the Boston Globe...
...Or maybe it was a secret handshake thing between two former Rhodes scholars...
...There is, instead, the "Monday Holidays Act of 1968," by which Congress rescheduled observance of several date-certain anniversaries—so as to transform them into three-day weekends wholly divorced from their original, commemorative purposes...
...One of these would be a high grade for the official transcript...
...Reynolds, you may or may not recall, is the former congressman convicted in 1997 on multiple federal charges of bank fraud, wire fraud, false statements to the Federal Election Commission, threatening a witness, perjury, and obstruction of justice...
...For an application and further information about this year's award, which once again includes a grant of $10,000, please contact Sheila Malecki of the Eric Breindel Memorial Foundation at (212) 930-8692...
...The Game of the Name THE SCRAPBOOK advises that its readers change whatever plans they've made for the upcoming "Presidents' Day" holiday...
...Wonder what that looked like...
...We're for it...
...The award is named for long-time New York Post editor and columnist (and Weekly Standard contributor) Eric Breindel, who died unexpectedly in 1998 at the age of 42...
...And if representatives Roscoe Bartlett (R-MD) and Tom Tancredo (R-CO) get their way, Congress will soon enact legislation requiring that federal agencies refer to it that way, and that way only...
...Or maybe it was the fact that Reynolds has never publicly repented or even acknowledged his crimes, preferring instead to blame his prison sentence on (racist) persecution by federal investigators...
...In 1995, an obstinately defiant Reynolds was sentenced to an Illinois state prison term for solicitation of child pornography, criminal sexual assault, aggravated criminal sexual abuse, and obstruction of justice...
...Last year's winner was columnist Tom Flannery of the Scranton, Pa., Carbondale News...
...The Alan Greenspan of Grade Inflation We're sorry to report that the longest running one-man war against declining academic standards has ended in a cease-fire, as distinguished scholar and occasional contributor to this magazine Harvey Mansfield told his Harvard students on February 1 that he would henceforth give them two grades...
...The darn thing is still, technically at least, "George Washington's Birthday...
...well, you know, outrageous...
...Or maybe it was . . . well, that other business...
...Or that other fellow who's just retired...
Vol. 6 • February 2001 • No. 22
