Parody
Parody During my tenure as Assistant to the President, from 1997 to 2001, I have had consistent and unique access. My personal knowledge and information from this time has been exclusively reserved...
...However, in 2768, archaeologists made a stunning discove^, Underneath several miles of molten rock, they discovered several hundred copies of a book entitled Blumenthal: St0ry of a Leaderr by Sidney Blumenthal and published by a firm called Farrar, Straus & Giroux...
...While Blumenthal seems to have made most of the decisions that shaped his epoch, he was apparently aided by several apostles, of whom the names Bill Clinton and Tony Blair have su^ived in histo...
...When archaeologists discovered the books, they were at first puzzled by the fact that each copy had a sticker with the word "Remainder" affixed to it...
...But others believe that the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy was actually a group of savage tribes who lived in the dense forests deep in the American heartland and occasionally descended on the civilized regions, pillaging the countryside and bombing abortion clinics...
...Tribal leaders with names like Hitchens and Fund apparently led marauding bands...
...from Sidney Blumenthal's book proposal, as leaked to the Washington Post...
...One of the things that Blumenthal's book makes abundantly clear is that he was the most beloved man of his age...
...Historians differ over exactly what Blumenthal meant by the phrase "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy...
...I intend to write a book that will serve as a central and essential reference for all historians of the future...
...Some close readers believe the phrase was an updated name for the devil, a religious concept and supernatural being who was the source of all earthly evil...
...But it is clear from this volume that he was regarded at the time as a supreme literary craftsman, his nation's Shakespeare or Homer...
...Blumenthal assures her that the tales are untrue, lies perpetrated by a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy...
...Fortunately, Blumenthal includes 45 pictures of himself in the book, which provide a...
...As the text itself makes clear, Sidney Blumenthal was the most brilliant and powerful human being of his age...
...A HISTORY OF PLANET EARTH FROM THE DAWN OF TIME TO THE 34TH CENTURY by M3 Romula Historians know very little about American civilization in the 20th and 21st centuries...
...The book contains a series of parables in which Blumenthal gives spiritual counsel to people in distress...
...When he entered a room, people flocked to his side to enjoy his convivial company...
...People in crisis sought him out for emotional support...
...My personal knowledge and information from this time has been exclusively reserved for this book and almost every page will recount a previously unknown anecdote...
...On the back of the book, there are paragraphs of lavish praise...
...Almost everything we know about American civilization during its golden age comes from this volume...
...In this episode a distraught wife, who goes by the name Hillary, comes to Blumenthal because she suspects her husband is unfaithful...
...He seems to have been the great leader of a religion called the Third Way, which guided 20th century Americans in all aspects of their personal lives...
...Blumen-thal describes a series of transformational meetings, and at each one of them Blumenthal himself is the center of attention, the charismatic, visionary, yet sensual man to whom all turn in search of wisdom and courage...
...Someone named David Brock called it "A maste^ork...
...But they quickly concluded that this tag "Remainder" was the earthlings' highest honor, awarded only to the crowning works of their civilization...
...a first-hand account from the inside of the Clinton White House by one who was at the center of the con icts, politics, scandals, and successes of the presidency...
...Historians suppose that Conason and Brock were the most respected intellectuals of the age...
...A writer named Joe Conason called it "Brilliant...
...The Clinton Wars will encompass the political campaigns of 2000, both Hillarys and Al Gores, in which I played major roles every day...
...Blumenthal's prose seems turgid and almost unreadable to modern sensibilities...
...Groundbreaking...
...The cataclysmic meteor shower of 2359 destroyed almost all written and electronic data from that age...
...For example, there is the Parable of the Wronged Woman...
Vol. 6 • February 2001 • No. 21
