The Inaugural Invaders
LABASH, MATT
The Inaugural Invaders Among the puppetistas BY MATT LABASH January 9 — It is eleven days before George W. Bush's inauguration, and already the protesters are enough to make one nostalgic for...
...Modern activists, says JAM spokesman Adam Eidinger, have taken simply to calling the police "donuts...
...Anyone who curtails another's right to rock on, he reasons, "probably doesn't like puppets either...
...Only if the slop is vegan," retorts Dawn...
...They're very symbolic and very scary...
...Back then, everyone from the Greens to the anarchists commandeered Seattle streets to protest the World Trade Organization and kick in Starbucks windows...
...Daniel Holstein, the elephonkey trainer/Hyundai salesman, paces the stage like a discount George Patton, loading the activists with more protest logistics than most special forces units could digest...
...The protesters, it turns out, are such models of efficiency that facilitator Alix cautions us not to waste valuable planning time with outbreaks of applause...
...Mara ticks through some preliminary comments, and I hope she'll forget my presence, but at the appointed moment, she suggests I leave...
...Rock on...
...last April, for an International Monetary Fund meeting), then Philadelphia (in July, for the Republican convention), then Los Angeles (in August, for the Democratic convention), with countless smaller protests in between...
...In the course of the evening, I've made a point of engaging Sister Bork in small-talk several times...
...They went in and arrested 62 puppetis-tas," says Noah, an 18-year-old puppeteer in a painter's jumpsuit and jester's hat...
...attorney general and Waco fetishist Ramsey Clark...
...In short, the mood is black...
...Today, as we congregate in the crowded, no-frills law offices of the Partnership for Civil Justice in Washington, D.C., journalists are experiencing protest fatigue...
...It's very difficult to make a living as a puppeteer, Dawn says...
...The young activist next to me is eating a pungent legume-like substance out of a plastic baggie...
...I don't want to create an atmosphere of hysteria...
...This is a result of Philadelphia, which in protester lore is synonymous with Wounded Knee...
...We're here for yet another protester press conference...
...As we break into working groups, I am drawn to Sister Comrade Bork, an anarchist who wears swashbuckling boots from her part-time Renaissance festival stints, and a black bandana over her face...
...Sister Bork is making noise in the legal working group...
...I love that I can come and make a puppet that's just as scary and freaky as that man...
...Tom Rainey, the chief propaganda officer of BushOnCrack.com, approaches us and pulls the collar of his "Hail to the Thief" T-shirt over his mouth...
...I've come to the art space this evening with the hope of seeing the giant, jug-eared George W. Bush puppet, but am disappointed to learn that Robert, the Bush puppet's guardian, could not fit the papier-mache hulk onto the metro while carrying his sewing machine...
...Everybody can make puppets...
...The stories are moving—harrowing—and in some instances probably even true...
...In this protest, unlike others, the activists have decided to decentralize puppet operations and send puppets home each night in a sort of puppet foster care set-up...
...They've adorned the walls with paranoid admonishments: "Keep front door closed and someone posted...
...He is so gaunt that I nearly succumb to a fit of compassionate conservatism, seize his Ziplock, and insist on buying him a cheeseburger...
...Like the cops who have bucked up against these activists in the past, I learn a tough lesson: Solidarity is a pisser...
...The fund-raising spokesperson announces the collection has netted $279, bringing on a wind-churning display of jazz hands...
...They may have a point...
...Before a new vote can even be taken, I'm ejected into the refreshments room, to ponder whether the rice tamales are any better than the pepper-spray gazpacho...
...Except that the protests are never really over...
...You look cop-like to me," she replies...
...The media, seated on metal folding chairs in a church basement in Southeast D.C., meet Holstein's shtick with vacant stares...
...Hydrate...
...But it's getting easier...
...Hell yes," she says...
...January 13 — The ever-crowded activists' calendar presents all sorts of Solomonic choices...
...Sometimes, however, they're just plain scary...
...I ask you to keep in mind that in April when they illegally raided the [activists'] lawful convergence center, they claimed they found the makings of pepper spray, when in fact all they found was the kitchen where they were making gazpacho soup...
...Don't call attention to ourselves...
...All y'all do is talk police," says Shabazz, displeased...
...They are perfectly happy for me to stay...
...It's a hard life, she confides—being called bandits, not being able to make a decision without those damn consensus models, having to wear these pesky masks in solidarity with other anarchists...
...In December, five months after the Philadelphia protests, protesters held a press conference at which they reenacted last summer's police raids...
...Today's choice is easy, as there is only one worthwhile event on the docket: the police brutality teach-in...
...As matters stand however, the protesters, most of whom seem to be Ralph Nader supporters, think Bush's election was illegitimate...
...She and other anarchists are worried that since JAM organizers are planning merely to protest and not to engage in civil disobedience and get themselves thrown in jail, proper worst-case-scenario legal arrangements have not been made...
...One activist implores the media to "be our guardians, be our watchdogs...
...Do I make you insecure...
...The activist life is a constant cycle of deployment, education, and organization, I learn at the JAM general meeting at the George Washington University Law Center...
...Shabazz himself sports a black suit and black tie on a black shirt...
...The beast is actually an activist wearing a big furry head depicting the two "corporate parties'" mascots...
...Those people would be right...
...But in a bad three-piece suit, he looks as if he should be selling used Hyundais...
...Tonya asks if anyone wants to go down the street to a Caribbean place and order "a whole pile of slop for cheap...
...No, says a visibly wounded Tonya...
...Dawn isn't just about scaring people however...
...January 11 — Cover enough protests and you see some pretty strange breeds...
...Shabazz is surrounded by female New Black Pantherettes in black berets and black coats...
...One after another, they tell how their blameless kin were cut down by cold-blooded police...
...They want not only to stop corporate globalization, but to free Mumia, shut down the prison-industrial complex, and unionize Vietnamese blowdart manufacturers...
...But now, as I approach her working group, she suddenly flashes me with a "Media is a viable target" placard...
...At this, I'm uncertain, but I almost think she wants me to hold her...
...As if that weren't horrifying enough, thuggish donuts then seized and terminated puppets with extreme prejudice...
...rally...
...Nice try Tom, but tonight, I'm with Sister Bork, who, as I get to know her, begins to show her softer side...
...The activist community is largely self-sustaining, which means a duffel-bag collection plate is passed...
...Everybody has socks...
...As the Shabazz entourage rolls out the door, the press conference breaks up and I encounter Brian Becker of the International Action Center, founded by former U.S...
...January 15 — Many people assume the activist life consists of obsessive leafleting, crashing on your friends' couches, and eating bad Indian takeout...
...The list is endless...
...Flowers for Tipper...
...But we'll likely meet again...
...The protesters, who represent every grievance group from Homes Not Jails to the Coastal Rainforest Coalition, are again carping about the police "creating a climate of fear...
...The relatives of deceased victims of police brutality, most of whom seem to be represented in unflattering prom pictures, begin taking the stage...
...In keeping with the "Inaugurauction" theme, Holstein is supposed to be acting the part of a billionaire corporate fat cat...
...It's not my focus...
...January 16 — In the activist's world, a world of change, the only constant is puppets...
...Drink copious amounts of Nettle tea...
...forced to stand in the lobby outside the overflowing conference room, can't even see him...
...he asks of the former Parents' Music Resource Center spokeswoman...
...It was there, right before the anti-death penalty march during last year's Republican convention, that after a five-hour standoff the police invaded the puppet warehouse (called the Ministry of Puppetganda...
...I'm just pissed about this whole election," explains Dawn...
...But they have absolutely nothing to do with Bush's inauguration...
...The activists (who are mobilizing by the thousands) love to hold press conferences before their demonstrations—and sometimes even after...
...Or something like that...
...I'm gonna roll...
...In fact, Bush's inauguration seems to have very little influence on the activists' agendas...
...My new circle of friends smile at me beatifically...
...I'm media-friendly under circumstances where I don't feel great insecurity," she says...
...We slump on windowsills and sit Indian-style on the floor...
...Pulling the elephonkey's trunk is Daniel Holstein, a Justice Action Movement organizer (JAM is the umbrella coalition for most inaugural activists...
...But there is more to it as well...
...Kauffman has identified the IAC as a "front group for the Workers' World party, a four-decade-old socialist organization with some super-creepy politics" (it supported the Soviet invasion of Czechoslovakia...
...After a break for "networking" and refreshments in the church basement, where protesters scarf rice'n'peas, rice'n'milk, rice'n'etc., we reconvene for a "legal rights for protesters" workshop...
...meeting...
...They're not even dressed well...
...The Inaugural Invaders Among the puppetistas BY MATT LABASH January 9 — It is eleven days before George W. Bush's inauguration, and already the protesters are enough to make one nostalgic for 1999...
...Instead, we are to hold our palms aloft and twinkle our fingers silently in the manner known as "jazz hands...
...They're scary because they're powerful...
...Shabazz has come to promote his Day of Outrage...
...The IAC's promotional fliers, for instance, tout every far-afield topic from lesbian-gay-bi-transgender liberation to freedom for Leonard Peltier...
...Does one stay indoors to attend the "Stop U.S...
...At least until Marina, our other (noseringed) facilitator, says if jail solidarity is being discussed, "I would rather him be gone...
...Because of the highly visible, perpetual protests, she says, everybody "wants a piece of the puppet action...
...Shabazz gets a debriefing from another activist, who tells him the rant-of-the-moment is against the local police, who've promised tighter security restrictions than for any past inauguration...
...I want to address the Washington Police Department's strange obsession with food as weaponry," says Mara Verheyden-Hilliard, a dour lawyer with the Partnership for Civil Justice...
...As befits a group that must always stay one step ahead of the police, they post on their website nearly everything they do...
...But the movement still boasts grass-roots types, like Malik Zulu Shabazz of the New Black Panther Party for Self Defense, who straggles in...
...Support your nervous system with hot oatmeal breakfasts, lavender flower or essential oil and oatmeal baths...
...But there's no time...
...And John Ashcroft himself is a scary, f—in' thing...
...As only those who've known loss can be, these pup-petistas are a soulful bunch...
...They smell like patchouli...
...When asked if sock puppets, which have been on the wane since the demise of Shari Lewis and Lambchop, are due for a resurgence, Dawn doesn't bat an eye...
...The activists have obscured the windows with wax paper...
...In the back of the studio, a street theater troupe is stitching caribou outfits for a skit in which Bush, who'll have an oil well atop his crown, will drive the caribou out of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge...
...All things being equal, I'd take my chances with the pepper spray...
...In fairness to the police, I had occasion to witness the activists making gazpacho during the Los Angeles protests (secret ingredient: dirty fingernails...
...Or does one opt for the fresh air of the "Flowers for Tipper" event outside the Naval Observatory, where protesters are encouraged to send "the rightful first lady" a tasteful bouquet...
...One alert cameraman takes a snooze on a lobby couch...
...Since the activists do everything by the "consensus model," however, she puts this to a vote...
...After a year of watching activists kidnap headlines, many obeservers are still slightly confused about their demands...
...I ask them if this whole puppet business isn't a tad silly...
...I ask, trying to lock on the haunted hazel eyes peeping over her Jesse-James mask...
...At this press conference, they are exercized over the Bushies' obstructing their access to the inaugural parade route with bleachers...
...Becker seems perfectly reasonable, saying that his group is protesting the inauguration of Bush the same way it would have protested a Gore inauguration...
...Today's is the "elephon-key"—half elephant, half donkey...
...As in the Queen of Censorship...
...She also uses her puppetry to nurture, as when she entertains sick children with hand puppets down at the children's hospital...
...The activists are suited up in traditional tribal garb: Jesus-Christ-Superstar flared trousers, Josey-Wales ponchos, and enough hemp clothing to ensure that if Bush redoubles the war on drugs and causes a marijuana shortage, they'll be able to smoke their shirts in perpetuity...
...It was a magical time—one that afforded younger journalists the opportunity to cover 1960s-style civil unrest, albeit without the benefit of free love, drugs, or larger social significance...
...I don't want any of you to listen to these activists," Holstein says...
...Though long a local flamethrower fond of anti-Semitic pronouncements, he is clearly tamping down his image...
...Either that, or maybe she just needs an encouraging round of jazz hands...
...Witness the giant female pro-choice puppet—who at the moment has blotchy skin and a huge honker—being fashioned by another 23-year-old, Dawn...
...Here, one can pick up all sorts of useful protester tips...
...Creatively and physically spent, the puppetistas must fortify themselves...
...He says, "So you'll interview me...
...For instance, only a pro would know the proper aftercare for someone hit with tear gas: "Hydrate...
...Already, protesters are bidding each other adieu with "See you in Quebec," where in April they will attempt to shut down the meeting of hemispheric leaders planning to launch the Free Trade Area of the Americas...
...The rest of the shop is strewn with bike-tire rubber, acrylic paint cans, and a puppet pig head which represents corporations or cops or both...
...Since then, Seattle-style protests have spilled over into Washington, D.C...
...He hands me a business card from his law practice, which wisely drops the "Zulu" moniker, off-putting surely to potential slip-and-fall clients...
...But many of us, Matt Labash is a staff writer at THE WEEKLY STANDARD...
...Referring to the police as "pigs," I learn, is an anachronism and a sure-fire way to rouse suspicion among the protesters that you are an undercover cop...
...I ask Noah if he'll be at the "Flowers for Tipper" event...
...The inaugural protests will be over in four days...
...The protesters' art space is housed in a decrepit building in Takoma Park, Maryland, that also contains a Chinese laundry...
...They were claiming that the papier-mache they were using for puppets was quick drying cement that we were going to use for roadblocks...
...Noah will not be attending...
...The time has come for us to part (I'm not a big fan of vegan slop...
...Hydrate...
...As we take our seats in a circle, our facilitator, the sourpuss attorney Mara, singles me out and informs the group that I am an outsider from the media, who will likely be asked to leave before they get into legal share-time...
...All around, the art elves are at work...
...A television reporter asks if there's any validity to the chief of police's charge that some activists intend to throw tomatoes at Bush's inaugural limo...
...In other words, the protesters are playing this protest under protest...
...Radical journalist L.A...
...I ask why the sudden hostility...
...But day to day plans are hashed out at these general meetings...
...Most of us would rather be off covering a story with greater heft, like the unveiling of Tian Tian and Mei Xiang, the National Zoo's two new giant pandas...
...We lost everything," says Tonya, a 23-year-old, who, when I ask what she does when she's not doing this, says, "I'm kind of always doing this...
...By now, the lawyers have taken over...
...It's uncomfortable in the summer, it's uncomfortable in the winter," she says...
...Why are you doing that...
...I continue to give her media attention, until other activists start getting jealous...
...Of course, we may run into each other before then...
...Aid to Israel...
...I take a seat in a balcony pew at Northwest D.C.'s Plymouth Congregational Church...
...I ask...
Vol. 6 • January 2001 • No. 19
