Parody

...News item MY DADDY'S HOMETOWN Well my daddy used to drive me through this old town Drag me from the bumper, tryin to keep me down Showed me the textile mill, gray and brown and shuttered and quiet Now it's a Cheesecake Factory Screws up my Atkins diet (CHORUS) This is Freehold Town my daddy's hometown Everybody's gotta job Feel like I'm gonna drown In cash Gonna drift away On my 401(k) Me and Caitlyn we fell in love gettin our MBAs At the Wharton School we argued all day She believed in a gold standard for every nation I argued for a floating exchange rate adjusted for inflation Measured against a fixed basket of goods Under the summer sky we made love in the woods...

...So Caitlyn she got pregnant and man that day our dreams a|| died We was forced to open a string of Starbucks franchises on the Jersey side The hard boys parked their Rovers outside the Borders Makin our nanny take their Frappuccino orders Now I lie awake at night and give baby Brittany a squeeze Wonderin why Charles Schwab keeps raisin his transaction fees This is Freehold Town my daddy's hometown Everybody's gotta job Feel like I'm gonna drown In cash Gonna drift away On my 401(k) Or some other form of liquidity...

...The inspiration for such working-class anthems as Springsteen's "Thunder Road" and "My Hometown," Freehold is now a wealthy, yuppified commercial district, with lots of jobs, high taxes, and SUVs...