Parody
Parody With the imminent resignation of Kenneth Starr, a three-judge panel has been interviewing a number of possible candidates to succeed him as independent counsel. —News Item Application for...
...Scaife?-Are you a military veteran...
...I certify that, to the best of my knowledge and belief, all of the information I have submitted on this form is true, depending on how you define “true...
...In fact, I will consider this job a lifelong career and look forward to obtaining many fine indictments and convictions in the Gore administration...
...Yes [ ] No [ ] If yes, then do draft dodgers make you p^caHy, H^dfy N? Yes [ ] No [ ] Could you stand being interviewed by Diane Sawyer on 20/20...
...News Item Application for Employment OFFICE OF THE INDEPENDENT COUNSEL -Investigating This, That, and the Other for Over Seven Years Personal Data: First name--Last name_____'_____ Mailing address ----------_City/State/Zip____~ FreeRepublic.com ----------(Please use separate sheets for the following) Employment History: ,i-....................employers alphabetically (e.g., Philip Morris before Meineke Muffler): Favorite Hymns: General: ____ How long have you known Mr...
...Yes [ ] No [ ] If yes, how?____ On the form provided, compose a personal essay, not to exceed 40,000 words, on one of two subjects: “What Fort Marcy Park Means to Me” O R: “If Oral Sex Isn’t Exactly Illegal, It’s Still Gross...
...I further assert that if I am selected as Independent Counsel I won’t suddenly drop everything and take a cushy gig as a dean at some party school in California...
...SIGNATURE:__- Date signed:--American Spectator subscription expiration date (for verification purposes only...
Vol. 5 • October 1999 • No. 6
