Parody
Parody DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX WED OCT 25, 2000 11:04:27 ET XXXXX UPDATE: BUSH CAPTURED ON HIDDEN VIDEO AT 1994 GRADUATION TELLING STUDENTS. "YOU GO OUTAND MAKE THE MOST OF...
...Or fighting o^ hallucinations caused by a combination of LSD, Humboldt County sensemilla, and aftershave that the poor deranged bastard couldn't keep his paws o^ when he saw it in the medicine cabinet this morning...
...All we know is that some say (some who've drifted into our home office this morning) that Bush blinks several times in the course of the video and reaches frequently to drink from a glass of what university authorities claim was ice water...
...In the video, his thoughts appear to ramble...
...OR AN INCITEMENT TO LAWBREAKING OCCASIONED BYA RELAPSE INTO DRUG-TAKING IRRESPONSIBILITYAND SEXUAL DEBAUCH...
...In closing, Bush says, "Hitch your wagon to a star...
...At one point he maybe laughs, although many observers (Me, Myself, and I) remarked that there's not much funny about a college graduation...
...A reference to falling off the wagon...
...Judge for yourself...
...Staring into the sun...
...YOU GO OUTAND MAKE THE MOST OF LIFE...
...At times, Bush appears to squint...
...X X X X X As a followup to the DRUDGE REPORT'S exclusive, first-in-the-world mention that George W. Bush -- six years after he supposedly gave up alcohol -- appeared on video at a Texas wedding and laughed and referred to the groom as a "nice fella...
...Addressing graduating seniors at Texas A&M, Bush urged them to "drink life to the lees...
...X X X X X WISE COUJNSEL...
...we can now reveal that a similar incident occurred in 1994...
...Bush wishes the students luck, and expresses his wish that they find jobs in mathematics, accounting, "or what^er you majored in...
Vol. 5 • September 2000 • No. 48
