Parody
Parody Faith of My Producers: A Prisoner's Memoir 13 Chapter 1 The door to the jetway clicked shut. Through the little wmdow 1 could just see John McCain's head bobbing down the tunnel as he made...
...The Jackal was a member ofVietnamese for Tax Reform...
...Why you pour drink on Grover Norquist head...
...Others had been held longer than I. I would not accept early release...
...They took me to the Hanoi Hilton...
...he screamed at me...
...The room was hot and stifling...
...work Weeky Standard," he said...
...There had been a few changes since McCain had spent time here, the most important being that now it really was a Hilton...
...I refused...
...Tim Brown called on the cell phone, giddy with the news that Skip Gates had signed on to cover my execution...
...They shoved me in a room with a wiry, fierce-eyed Vietnamese man whom 1 came to call The Jackal while I was his prisoner...
...Through the little wmdow 1 could just see John McCain's head bobbing down the tunnel as he made his way to the plane, with Salon's Jake Tapper crawling along at his side...
...Captive...
...A tiny TV blared in the corner with some gook in a bow tie squawking abom something...
...It'd been hours since pancake make-up had been applied to my face, and I began to feel the first withdraw^ tremors...
...I will not leave this boy behind," he'd thundered, before recallmg that hanging around would mean missing the White House Correspondents dinner...
...It wasn't that I was a hero, although many would call me that ft was just that I needed to get three news cycles out of this...
...The Jackal leaned closer, and I could smell fish odor on Ms breath...
...But the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a first class seat on Singapore Airlines, with a bump on my head, wondering: Would I make it in time for Good Morning America...
...I was alone in a hostUe land...
...I didn't realize how much 1 loved America's News Leader until I was deprived °f her...
...At times like this, it's faith, friendship, and the thought of getting a Howie Kurtz piece out of it that pull you through...
...You free to go...
...At first, McCain had insisted he would get me out...
...Tme's Jay Carney promised to look after my seat on Late Edition, no matter how long it took...
...his official rank was Concierge...
...Memories of home flooded my brain: the red of the TV light when you're on-air, the blue of Larry King's veins, the white skin of the hosts on Crossfire...
Vol. 5 • May 2000 • No. 33
