Parody

...Trump, who hadcampaigned for the presidencyunder the misapprehensionthat the chief executive lives inthe U.S...

...No offense, but who everheard of running a hotel whereyou have only one bedroom torent out a night...

...Clinton will stay on inthe new facility as greeter andfloorshow manager...

...Therewasn’t even a phone in thebathroom...

...President Trump did inter-rupt his speech to threaten anuclear strike on anyone whoopposed his scheme, but hequickly shifted to a more con-ciliatory mode, offering allAmericans free vanity license SeeDONALDMOBILE,A6, Col...

...As part of his effort to createa “kinder, more hospitable na-tion, with frequent guest bonuspackages,” the Trump Presi-dential Palace will have 897donor suites, each with a 16-foot bathtub placed strategical-ly under a proscenium archand flattering track lighting.The king-size beds—round, heart-shaped, or in the form ofa dollar sign—will rotate, sothat no matter which way theguest sleeps, he will never beout of easy visual contact witha Leroy Neeman painting...

...He’s going throughleopard-skin wallpaper with-drawal,” a worried Trump aiderevealed at the time...

...Trumpdeclared in his inauguraladdress, referring to the Clin-tons’ Lincoln Bedroom Bed &Breakfast operation...

...His Donaldnesscontinued...

...The crown of thebuilding will feature what Pres-ident Trump has called theArcade of the Fabulous, a series of 40-foot statues cele-brating individuals who havecontributed to American life,including Siegfried and Roy,Evander Holyfield, and Charo,the spunky Latin nightclubsinger...

...Capitol building, wasvisibly shaken after his tour of1600 Pennsylvania Avenue lastweek...

...The new presidential home,which will be known as theTrump Presidential Palace &Casino, will be 89 stories high,but in the shape of the RomanColiseum and covered all theway around with gold and sil-ver mirrors...

...20—Donald Trump was sworn in aspresident today and immedi-ately unveiled plans to teardown the White House andreplace it with something“classier...

...Mr...

...As a signof respect for the former chiefexecutive, President Trumpwill not force his predecessorto wear the new presidentialmansion uniforms, which wereinspired by President Nixon’sdesigns for his White HouseGuards, except with a rhine-stone-studded bustier in placeof the tunic...