Parody

...News item BOB JONES UNIVERSITY Separate But Equal Since 1964 Babel Prevention Officer Department of Moral Affairs Dear Parents, We're thrilled to bits about Spring Bash Week, our annual blowout when we redly let the kids kickloose from their studies and let it all hang back...

...Sons of Ham (dark complexion) Sons of Ham (light complexion) Sons of Ham (supporters ofAlan Keyes) Rootless Cosmopolitans (Jewy Jews) Rootless Cosmopolitans (Jewy, but funny, like Jackie Mason) Rootless Cosmopolitans (but you'd never know it) Recovering Homosexuals John McCain Supporters Papists (less tban 5 siblings) Papists (5 to 10siblings) Papists (over 10siblings) Indeterminate Foreigners (Paks, Greeks, etc...

...As you may have read in the mamstream press, our preadent, B°ob Jones McVI has recently altered our ban on interracial dating...

...Sincerely, Bodacious Klismer...

...our guest speakers discovered some last minute scheduling conflicts...

...With your help, we can make this just as super an event as it's always been...

...As you know, we're not against our kids having fun, so long as they do k without too much pigmentation discordance...

...From now on students wdl be able to date outside their genetic stock...

...I'm therefore asking you to take a few minutes to designate the genetic groups your son/daughter may date...

...Unfortunately, our annual Politics Day has be^ canceled...

...But we've got a great bunch of events planned, which should offer plenty of fun in a racially secure environment: Pik Botha Sing-along Track Meet (long-distance events only) Saturday Night Bonfire, including a wet sheet contest with some of our prettiest ladies Naturally, with all the fraternization that will be going on some of our students, fired by the ruing sap of youth will want to go on dates...

...Please circle no m°re than four...

...chinese (from china, Korea, or Japan) Babylonians Others (Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, etc...