Parody
Parody Dec. 23, 1999 Memorandum To: Gov. Bush From: Karl Rove Re: Operation Firewall Fantastic trip to New Hampshire, Sir. The office of dissension informs me that there will be no more...
...In conclusion, I am pleased to report that we are runmng a powerful 50-state campaign very similar to President McKinley who ran a powerful 45-state campaign Even as the slanted media continue their futile attempt to shove Sen...
...Engler while greatly gratified to be offered the honor, suggests that the distinction of being the true Firewall should actually go to virginia, which holds its primary on February 29...
...I'll be traveling to Richmond next week to give Gov...
...He makes the selfless argument that as one of the origi-nai colonies and the birthplace of so many great presidents (though amazmgly not William McKinley), Virginia has a much stronger clam to being the Firewall State than humble Michigan...
...Gilmore the good news...
...After we conferred at length with your supporters from Sen Judd Gregg's machine in New Hampshire, whose primary is February 1, they selflessly insisted that the honor of being the Firewan State should be moved to South Carolina, which holds its primary on February 19...
...Engler's juggernaut...
...As you know, we've been having discussions throughout our organization just where we should choose to stop McCain...
...Car°U Campbell's machine, however, indicate that the South Carolinians are ltom^ too modest and self-effacing to accept the flashy honor of being the Bush Firewall State...
...How about that for good old Yankee humility...
...Further meetings in South Carolina with Gov...
...McCain down the throats of a Republican party that has clearly ALREADY MaDe UP ITS MIND we are getting strong support from paid GOp staffers, business lobbyists and of course, EXTREMELY POWERFUL GOP G°VFRNORS across the nation McCain may roll up a few victories in the first 7 or even 10 primanss, but those states are odd, unrepresentative parts of the country that will have no influence on the eventual nomination, WHICH WE HAVF LOCKED Up...
...The office of dissension informs me that there will be no more troublemaking quotes in the New York Times from the l0cals...
...They humbly suggest that the honor go to Michigan which holds its primary on February 22, and Gov...
...Clearly our "compassionate discipline" has done the trick with any beU.yach-ers up there...
...The only remaAning question is where the "Firewall" should be erected...
Vol. 5 • January 2000 • No. 16
