Special Starr Report Edition
Scrapbook Special Starr Report Edition THE SCRAPBOOK has spent the last week doing the work of the American people. To be specific, perusing the appendices to the independent counsel’s...
...He also said the creep had talked to him, and as I was leaving he said, ‘You come very highly recommended.’ (Tee-hee-hee...
...Sometimes it was just actual copies of letters...
...But did i tell you i had sex with thomas last week...
...I have never met such a ‘real’ person in my entire life...
...i had a good time at the spa ( i did it with the nutrition guy...
...But wait...
...Q: And even on those occasions, was there a legitimate business purpose to that...
...This could be a better marketing tool than Oprah’s book club...
...Yeah, Kelly sure was right...
...I do what is necessary to protect my client...
...So, I mean, it was—there was a real component of a relationship to it and I just—I thought he had a beautiful soul...
...And tell us a little about that...
...THE PRESIDENT’S READING LIST Since the world learned that Monica had given the president, among many other gifts, a copy of Oy Vey...
...I mean, talking about what we were thinking and feeling and doing and laughing...
...JUROR: You could close your eyes and talk...
...The Things They Say...
...Well, Catherine, my dear, (jeez . . . i hate being called “dear...
...I’m sure you remember I talked to the creep on the phone at work . . . I am glad you’ve had a good time with her but I certainly understand you and Chris wanting some time alone (like to have loud, rad SEX) before you leave...
...A: Yes...
...THOSE DARN KIDS TODAY Monica’s e-mails to her friends are a window into the soul of the post-Gen-X generation...
...You know how some people wear their hearts on their sleeves...
...I couldn’t hear you...
...I met with the big creep’s best friend this morning...
...ON MEETING VERNON JORDAN An e-mail from Monica Lewinsky to a friend: “Whew...
...Later, Scrapbook he shows alarming signs of creeping Clintonitis, as in this exchange with a lawyer from the independent counsel’s office: A: I will not tell a fib under perjury, sir— penalty of perjury...
...About Monica and Bill’s “relationship,” there is this colloquy: JUROR: Well, what kept it going...
...LEWINSKY: Not always...
...And of course, often the going got rough: JUROR: Brief direct genital contact —could you just elaborate on that a bit...
...They were by turns curious, consoling, and agog...
...i’m glad you liked my silly little package...
...His tone is flat and businesslike, but he occasionally reaches for poetry, as in this description of the March 29, 1997, encounter: A ray of sunshine was shining directly on Lewinsky’s face while she performed oral sex to completion...
...LEWINSKY: There was an occasion when I left the White House and I was pretty stunned at how I felt because I did think that...
...Even so, THE SCRAPBOOK, feeling a duty to country, pulled on its waders and slogged through—somebody had to...
...Interestingly, most of the truly lurid questions in the Lewinsky testimony come from the grand jurors themselves...
...I just thought he was just this incredible person and when I looked at him I saw a little boy and—I don’t know what the truth is anymore...
...A: It varied...
...LEWINSKY: Oh, we spent hours on the phone talking...
...he wears his soul...
...LEWINSKY: Uh— JUROR: I understand— LEWINSKY: Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing...
...JUROR: We won’t look at you...
...I mean, it wasn’t like you went out on dates or anything like that, like normal people, so what more was it...
...One time I wrote a really stupid poem...
...When Starr’s office asks Monica for a handwriting sample, Ginsburg refuses on behalf of his client, saying he will agree to provide one only if Starr gives a sample of his own handwriting to Ginsburg...
...What a day...
...JUROR: I beg your pardon...
...There’s more: “hi cat - i miss you...
...But definitely love...
...Here’s what she told the grand jury: Q: Did you ever actually bring him papers to sign as part of business...
...A Book of Jewish Wit, sales of the compendium have skyrocketed (from Number 153,339 to Number 1,643-and-rising on the Amazon.com sales charts...
...To be specific, perusing the appendices to the independent counsel’s impeachment referral, Parts 1 and 2. Together, they amount to some 3,183 pages, and they are chock-a-block with smutty gossip, embarrassing anecdotes about Vernon Jordan, and salacious criticisms of Bill Clinton’s way with a maid...
...Q: All right...
...i don’t have much to write—i am boring...
...Highlights below...
...Sometimes I put gifts in the folder which I brought...
...Incredible...
...But I will do what is necessary to protect my client at all times as a vigorous advocate...
...LEWINSKY: Can I hide under the table...
...In that spirit THE SCRAPBOOK would like to point out that, according to lists provided to Starr by the White House, the bookshelves in the president’s private study hold at least two other volumes worthy of the bestseller lists: Energy in the Executive by Terry Eastland and George Washington: A Biography by Noemie Emery...
...Q: Including lie...
...It was very interesting...
...You have to define the word “lie” for me before I can answer that...
...JUROR: Phone sex...
...Their last sexual encounter ended on an up note: After the private meeting the President and Lewinsky went into Betty Currie’s office, where they sang “Try a Little Tenderness...
...And the anonymous author has an eye for the sympathetic detail: When Lewinsky unbuttoned the President’s blue shirt, the President sucked in his stomach...
...Lewinsky assured the President that she thought his physical shape was cute...
...Q: Did you actually bring him papers at all...
...MONICA, HE HARDLY KNEW YE In his grand-jury testimony on August 17, President Clinton continued to insist that Monica Lewinsky actually delivered official papers to his office...
...He said, with regard to my job search, ‘We’re in business.’ We’ll see...
...A: No...
...I was totally distracted...
...It was emotional...
...No jokes about what Monica usually does when she hides under a table.] *** Monica’s first extensive debriefing by Starr’s office, on July 30, was written up by a nameless FBI agent...
...LEWINSKY: I fell in love...
...JUROR: You did...
...the creep calls me that sometimes it’s an old person saying...
...The jurors continue with the incredulous line of questioning: JUROR: You said the relationship was more than oral sex...
...LEWINSKY: I fell in love...
...A: No...
...Both are contributors to THE WEEKLY STANDARD and, perforce, members in good standing of the vast rightwing conspiracy...
...On a few occasions, I mean, we were talking...
...JUROR: When you look at it now, was it love or a sexual obsession...
...JUROR: Did you think that the President was in love with you also...
...WHYWE STILL MISS BILL GINSBURG: The supporting documents also reinforce the notion that Lewinsky’s original lawyer, William Ginsburg, was indeed an idiot...
...LEWINSKY: More love with a little bit of obsession...
...I mean, interacting...
...A: Sir, I never lie...
Vol. 4 • October 1998 • No. 4
