PARODY
PARODY "When the death of a disabled infant will lead to the birth of another infant with better prospects of a happy life, the total amount of happiness will be greater if the disabled infant is...
...Sidney collapsed at the used bookstore this aftemom...
...He held us spellbound with his insights into how one could improve on Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil...
...I'm so thrilled he came to join us at Princeton...
...Rushecl to the hospital Some rare case of food poisoning, it seems...
...His position is that some people look wonderful with breast implants, whereas these devices would add nothing to the sum of human happiness if implanted into, for exarpfe, Sidney, the cteinran of the Philosophy Department...
...Morning colloquium was eanceled and instead the new chair of the department, Olga, showed us what lap dancrng is- Talk about your increase in total happiness...
...I dcn't think I've ever tasted such magnificently prepare veal...
...Only jarring rote: itofessor Singer atong in the back row negotiating with someone from the Ford modeling agency over his cell phone...
...September 6, 1999 Dear Diary, Sidney's funeral was sad, yet beautiful...
...Why did professor Singer lookat me so menacingly when he observed that blondes have more fun than swarthy people...
...PARODY "When the death of a disabled infant will lead to the birth of another infant with better prospects of a happy life, the total amount of happiness will be greater if the disabled infant is killed...
...September 5, 1999 Dear Diary, Terrible day...
...September 13, 1999 Dear Diary, What a wonderful day...
...Dazzling...
...Sidney could offer no lOgical reminder...
...But I guess Professor Singer likes me-he gave me some delicious deviled eggs to teke home...
...Princeton September 3, 1999 Dear Diary, Peter Singer is such a brilliant man...
...I wonder what Peter was doing offering a chair in philosophy to tfet young nurse...
...Therefore, if killing the hemophiliac infant has no adverse effect °n others, it would, according to the total view, be right to kill him...
...What did he mean when he said the total amount of happiness at Princeton would be increased if certain academics with unattractive warts on their noses were exterminated and replaced by supermodels...
...We a11 visited him...
...So lucid and so deep...
...September 4,1999 Dear Diary, We all went over to Professor Singer 's house for lunch, where he dazzle us again with his erudition...
...The loss of happy life for the first infant is outweighed by the gain of a happier life for the second...
...Funny thing was, he kept coming back to that point about the supoamdals...
...Obviously he operates in a realm far above my understanding...
...Only one comment puzzled me...
...Alreac^ he has transformed the Friday colloquium...
...Again, just a single ominous moment...
...peter noted tfet no one would really miss him if he croaked, whereas the worM wmM be in irnurmng if Elle Macpherson died...
...Peter Singer, leading utilitarian theorist and newly appointed professor of bioethics at Princeton, quoted in the New Yorker, September 6, 1999 Diaxv of John Tbinkalotopous, associate professor of riiilosnrihv...
Vol. 4 • September 1999 • No. 48
