PARODY
Parody Just before an Al Gore photo-op, local officials release 97 million gallons of water into the Connecticut River to raise the water level for his canoe. —News item U.S. Border Patrol...
...Border Patrol Releases Flood of Immigrants Just Bef0re Buchanan Photo-op By JEFF GERTH and JAMES RISEN WASHINGTON, August 14 — Patrick J. Buchanan's presito-tial campaign was thrown into turmoil todav after it was learned that agents from the United States Border Patrol released 97,000 illegal immigrants into this countrv four hours before a Buchanan for President rallv in the south Texas border town of Swillbuck-et...
...As if on cue Mr...
...The revelations taint what had been the most spectacular event of the entire campaign...
...The scene was replayed on television news programs across the nation, but immediately some sensed that the event might have been staged, poin ing to the fact that 16,000 °f the illegals had been issued T-shirts which read, "Yo Quier° Compassionate Conservatism...
...Other campaigns, however, were quick to seize on the controversy...
...Last Wednesdav, as Mr...
...After initially denying any illegal-immigrant release, the Border Patrol insisted that this was just a normal release of the sort that is conducted at the behest of the National Restaurant Association at least six times a year...
...Buchanan's...
...It was not done merely to enhance Pat's photo-op," declared Joseph S°bran, newly appointed head of the Shaftsbury County Border Patrol...
...Others noticed that the "Guatemalan" leading the stampede was actually Samuel Francis in a sombrero...
...Buchanan turned to the cameras and declared, "Do y°u see what's happening, my friends...
...This was standard operating procedure...
...Francis, a sometime columnist, is a colleague of Mr...
...The Forbes campaign sent down a fleet of air-conditioned buses to see if any of the new immigrants would be interested in attending the Iowa Continued on Page A23...
...Buchanan was in the midst of a fiery campaign speech on the need to protect American jobs, his rally was interrupted by a stampede of tens of thousands of illegal immigrants heading north, screaming, "We Want Your Daughters...
...as thev passed...
...This is George W. Bush's America...
Vol. 4 • August 1999 • No. 44
