PBS'S MASSAGE PARLOR
MALONE, BERNADETTE
PBS'S MASSAGE PARLOR by Bernadette Malone THE NEXT TIME Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch shake you down for a contribution to the noble cause of public television, ask them about PBS's in-house...
...PBS'S MASSAGE PARLOR by Bernadette Malone THE NEXT TIME Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch shake you down for a contribution to the noble cause of public television, ask them about PBS's in-house massage service that your money will subsidize...
...After Congress finishes with PBS during the anticipated September spending battle, Barney the Dinosaur and his cohorts in Old Town may need one of those Swedish deep-tissue massages...
...Dara Goldberg, associate director of communications at PBS, swears the expense is only a "minuscule" part of "preventative health" costs...
...The masseuse "comes every other week and brings his own chair," offers Goldberg, trying to dispel the Austin Powers imagery that might arise in association with the word "massage...
...Speaking of massage oil, Goldberg emphasizes that PBS offers a fully clothed, seated massage...
...But PBS employees are often "too busy working" to notice, she explains...
...There's a massage sign-up sheet outside the sixth-floor human resources office, and sometimes an e-mail notification goes around...
...Goldberg is pleased to report that the ^ massage program has kept PBS's other health care costs (mudbaths...
...Because a lot of our employees don't even know it's available...
...The proof is in the pudding, or massage oil, if you will...
...There are so many other, more important things to write about, she goes on, employing the characteristic "there's no story here" maneuver of nervous Washington press operatives in the Clinton era...
...But as PBS receives $250 million a year in federal subsidies and the rest of its budget from the solicited contributions of viewers and foundations, the massage perk strikes many donors I talked to as extravagant...
...Are you sure...
...I hear they're yours for the asking...
...down since it was started two years ago...
...Will you let me know if you're going to be doing something on this...
...That's right: All 500 employees at the Public Broadcasting Service's headquarters in tony Old Town Alexandria, Va.—ten minutes from the halls of Congress they haunt for their annual funding—are invited to enjoy a massage during office hours for $8— about the price of a deli sandwich...
...Yeah, sign up to get one," I tell him...
...I hope you're not," she petitions...
...None of its stressed-out employees is disrobing and lying prostrate on a linen-draped table...
...She assures me, "We're pretty frugal over here...
...The revelation last week that Boston affiliate station WGBH-TV and Washington's WETA had traded donor lists with the Democratic party has hardly helped smooth the way with congressional Republicans for this year's $300 million budget request...
...And even some PBS employees...
...Indeed, she goes on, it's precisely because PBS employees work so hard that the regular massage is a part of their preventative health service...
...She continues: "Can I ask, how did you hear about it...
...The remainder of the professional masseuse's tab is covered by PBS's "wellness budget," stoked with $10 and $20 contributions from retirees addicted to Masterpiece Theatre and the parents of toddlers who watch Teletubbies...
...Here's Goldberg, justifying the service: "It's to relieve the stress from sitting at your desk eight to ten hours a day, using the computer and talking on the phone...
...nor is there a massage "parlor" on the premises...
...Goldberg herself is not amused that I am investigating the kinkier side of public broadcasting...
...Massages...
...Bernadette Malone is a political reporter for syndicated columnist Robert D. Novak...
...asks one of Goldberg's officemates when I call to check out my source's tip...
...PBS has long been targeted by budget-cutters in Washington as a bastion of elitist television liberals on welfare...
...aromatherapy...
Vol. 4 • July 1999 • No. 42
