PARODY
Parody Fashion designer Donna Karan gave Barbra Streisand $1 million to invest. By purchasing stock in eBay, Amazon.com, Starbucks, Time Warner, America Online, and Pfizer, Streisand was able to...
...You are generating income, but occasionally you need to generate some quick income, such as when your psychopharmacologist, Medellín Mark, demands payment for recent deliveries...
...This is the time to experiment with high risk investments— commodities such as silicon, Larry King wives, or Slim-Fast futures...
...No matter what your stage of life, SHS has the right package for you...
...You’ve just been contacted by Quentin Tarantino to play the serial killer in his new movie Gilligan’s Freakin’ Island: The Next Generation...
...SMALL CAP STOCKS 55% •BONDS 35% •MONEY MARKET FUNDS 15% THE DOLDRUMS AGE 40-50 Your career is in the toilet...
...At this stage in your life, your time horizons are short, but you don’t want to completely neglect growth...
...Turner Classic Movies has hired you to introduce its s Your agent is talking about a six-picture deal with the Lifetime channel...
...You’ve persuaded classic rock groups to update their image and tour Florida and Arizona...
...This is a good time to stay liquid while still keeping your long-term focus...
...Streisand, Hopper & Stone offers a full range of mutual funds and investment vehicles...
...MONEY MARKET 60% •INCOME STOCKS 37% •MORTGAGE BACKED SECURITIES 4% Past Performance is No Guarantee of Future Results...
...Your investment portfolio should reflect this emphasis on long-term growth...
...STARTING OUT AGE 20-25 You’re still on your second or third marriage...
...By purchasing stock in eBay, Amazon.com, Starbucks, Time Warner, America Online, and Pfizer, Streisand was able to turn an $800,000 profit in five months...
...Your accountant has demanded that you cut back on your lovers in order to reduce your outflow, and in a desperate budgetary measure, you have begun sleeping with your spouse...
...Your wedding night video is the hottest thing on the Internet, and you’ve just signed a three-year contract to star in the WB’s CS: Tales of a Cosmetic Surgeon...
...reported in Fortune magazine STREISAND, HOPPER & STONE SERVING THE INVESTMENT NEEDS OF THE CINEMA ARTISTS COMMUNITY SINCE 1999 LIFE CYCLES As you age, your investment needs change...
...So far, the acts you’ve inked include Jefferson Wheelchair, Blood, Sweat and Metamucil, and Three Trips to the John Night...
...Best of all, the oldies tour you are producing is generating millions...
...This is the time for some discreet investments, in places that will not be observed by the collection agencies hired by the Betty Ford Clinic...
...GROWTH STOCKS 60% •COMMODITIES 20% •HIGH YIELD CORPORATE BONDS 25% THE GO-GO YEARS AGE 25-40 Your career is in full swing...
...RUSSIAN TIMBER 40% •SWISS GOLD 15% •RICKY MARTIN FUTURES 5% REBOUND AGE 50-65 You are hot again...
Vol. 4 • June 1999 • No. 37
