PARODY
PARODY Internal DNC/PLA Document To: Al Gore/Jiang Zemin From: Tony Coelh° Al, Jiang, Our tap on George W.’s phone picked up the following conversation, which might give us some hints about the...
...Bob Dole speaking...
...Dole: Yea, that was just the image the country wanted to think about— Liddy Dole with a paddle...
...I can defrost her if you like, but it’ll take a few minutes...
...I’ve had a lot of time to lie around and think . . . you know, while recuperating in the hospital...
...Bush: The whole country appreciates your war service . . . Dole: No, I mean when they stapled my cheeks behind my ears...
...Now I’m taut and ready...
...But never mind that...
...This ought to burn her guts out...
...It takes courage, George, a special kind of courage...
...Dole: George...
...We’d make a great team...
...Bush: Well I was looking for a vice-presidential candidate, you see, and I thought your wife . . . Dole: George...
...Bush: Listen, Bob...
...Bush: I guess she was mad when you started running those attack ads against her in New Hampshire...
...Got a face like a saddle...
...Two men who’ve looked impotency in the face and didn’t blink...
...Not that you had much competition...
...Don’t you know “The Golden Girls” is on...
...Congratulations on winning the nomination...
...You don’t happen to have Tom Ridge’s number, do you...
...Maybe we should forget I called...
...6:19 p.m...
...Let’s talk strategy...
...A Christian dwarf, a millionaire dweeb, and the Stepford wife...
...Or at least one...
...Dole: Those were not attack ads...
...I just thought the voters should know she has her staff prepare cue cards to bring to bed...
...I’m ready to rumble...
...Bush: She said she’d take you to the woodshed...
...Bush: It’s me, Bob...
...Ooooh, wait till I tell Liddy I’m on the ticket...
...PARODY Internal DNC/PLA Document To: Al Gore/Jiang Zemin From: Tony Coelh° Al, Jiang, Our tap on George W.’s phone picked up the following conversation, which might give us some hints about the shrub’s thinking on the running-mate issue...
...George W. Is Elizabeth there...
...What a ticket...
...I’d be happy to be your running mate...
...Two virile manly men...
...Most things do...
...You with all your, uh, inheritance and me with my knowledge and experience...
...They were issue ads...
...rgds, Tony Phone Transcript July 7, 2000 Record of call made from suite of George W. Bush (Fairmont Hotel) to suite of Bob and Elizabeth Dole (Four Seasons...
...No more old Bob Dole...
...Bush: Well actually, Bob, I was going to pick your wi— . . . What I mean to say is, is Elizabeth there...
...Dole: No, don’t hang up...
...Dole: Hello...
...Dole: E.D...
...Who’s calling at this hour...
Vol. 4 • May 1999 • No. 35
