CASUAL
MATUS, VICTORINO
Casual THE POOR MAN'S VIAGRA At Bar Betico Mata in Turrial-ba, the beer is cheap, the cuisine is hearty, and the service is congenial. But I don't think they take American Express. Actually, I...
...VICTORINO MATUS...
...Yet it's a good place to swill Imperial—Costa Rica's most popular beer—and sink your teeth into a juicy strip of fried beef wrapped in a corn tortilla, textured and warm...
...Today, he owns coffee plantations and sugar cane fields, and he built Costa Rica's first processing plant for macadamias, to process the nuts from his groves...
...Ricky took up the challenge with ease and cranked out a song about our revelries...
...J.C.'s father, Don Orlando, joined in...
...It's a start...
...After a few chicken and cheese taco bocas, we moved on to salchichón, or fried sausage...
...Actually, I don't think they take Visa either...
...His Spanish was rapid-fire, and J.C., my interpreter, had trouble keeping up...
...He is well respected in this town, and many passersby stopped in to shake his hand...
...Don't chew it, just swallow it," advised the don, who called it "the poor man's Viagra...
...Situated in a lush valley, surrounded by fog-covered mountains, a rain forest, and some of the best whitewater rapids in the world, Turrialba is my friend J.C.'s hometown...
...At Bar Betico Mata, you won't find too many people speaking English...
...Don Orlando befriended him a year ago, and they like to get together for drinks, music, and good company...
...They might not even take U.S...
...The crowd in the café applauded, and Ricky downed another shot of guaro (sugar-distilled alcohol, resembling clear tequila...
...Ricky had been teaching him a few chords, and the two sang a duet, a song they'd composed about the Bar Betico Mata...
...But the establishment mainly serves bite-sized appetizers known as bocas...
...He's rather excitable and eagerly plays a few riffs of Luis Miguel and Julio Iglesias...
...No," he said, "by referring him to my dentist...
...We went out for drinks there the other night, beginning at Beti-co (which comes from Beto, which comes from Berto, which comes from Alberto) Mata's...
...As the evening progressed, we moved on to other locales, settling finally in an outdoor caf...
...We'll ride horses through farm country and hunt alligators and listen to Ricky play his 2,000th song...
...Ricky recounted some high points of his serenading career, like the time he was sauntering along on horseback with a couple of fellow musicians when, in mid-serenade, a branch snagged his guitar right out of his hands...
...Another time, he accompanied a client to propose...
...The man's beloved, looking down from her balcony, was not impressed and dumped out a bucket of water that missed the rejected lover but left Ricky drenched...
...I asked...
...I was intrigued by this improbable pair, the landed patrón and the toothless troubadour...
...The don, who is a friend of Beto's, came up with the names of the bar's two famous hamburguesas, the Big Mata and the Super Mata...
...It's a cubbyhole with six or seven tables where the locals hang out and the tourists, put off by the chicken-shack exterior, are few...
...Turrialba is the only town in Costa Rica licensed to serve this delicacy...
...The don then clamored for an improvisational number...
...The don has worked in the nearby farmlands all his life...
...He also performs tangos, an impassioned "A Mi Manera" ("My Way"), and Beatles tunes like "I Want to Hold Your Hand" and "Yesterday...
...I'm trying to help him out," whispered the don...
...Ricky gestured expansively, throwing up his arms...
...dollars...
...To my surprise, the don leapt up and beckoned him to join us...
...Ricky serenades for a living, and the don had hired him to play for us...
...His life's dream is to perform 2,000 different songs and enter the Guinness Book of World Records—quite a feat considering most of the songs are in English, a language Ricky doesn't speak...
...Before long an Indian-looking fellow walked in, somewhat ragged, with a guitar slung over one shoulder and a grin that bared all five of his teeth...
...By getting him singing gigs...
...When he sang the words "Don Orlando," everyone at Beto's, including the cooks behind the counter, started to cheer and laugh...
...Then the don reached for the guitar and started strumming...
...His name was Ricky and he's from El Salvador...
...Tell us a story," said Don Orlando, and Ricky became more animated than ever...
...I was already dreaming of my next trip...
...One variety had the appearance of Spam but, after I'd eaten it, the don assured me it was made from only the finest horse.The local specialty is huevos de tortuga: a shot glass filled to the rim with Bloody Mary mix (and a dab of Worcestershire sauce), garnished with a floating turtle's egg the size of a ping-pong ball...
...As the night wound down, we performed a rousing rendition of Billy Joel's "Piano Man...
Vol. 4 • April 1999 • No. 30
