PARODY

...So be sure to pony up a httk extra for Bubba this time...

...In any case, what with one thing and another, I've been in the doghouse so long people started calling me Now that Judge Susan Webber Wright (ooh, now isn't she the saucy Miss) has seen fit to cite the Pesident for so-called "contempt of court," I feel I would be remiss if I did not step forward to remind the President s storages ami best supporters (you all) just how important their contributions have been to his amazing tale of survival...

...you and your cash were essential mgredients...

...Billy Jean Kmg ami they are just the fattiest cattiest kittys ever...

...And don't let'sforget that certain big-footed contributers like the People's Liberation Army, Johnny Chung, the Lippo a^, _ and Nate La"dow are all "otherwise engaged" this time around...

...let me assure you that presidential obstruction of justice is a big old gas-guzzler that burns only to higfresl: «Sane fuel...

...You proved it, and you ought to beproud...

...LauncMng all those legally Pointless tadd™^ dilatory maneuvers at the cost of about 900 bucks an hour, plus expense^ was only possible with your help...

...A Special Appeal From the Attorney General Dear Fat Cats Mr Bruce '(Buddinsky) Lindsey, who thinks I'm thin-skinned and emotiomUy friable (I've been told), has just informed me that some people supposedly will not relish being addressed as "to cats...

...And as Bruce says "Don't forget you can put the Mrs...

...I know he could not have done that atone...

...Anyway when the President called to ask me to issue this plea, I jumped at the chance...

...They're right here...

...And if not for me then do it for the President and Mrs.Clinton...

...Janet Reno The Clinton Legal Expense Trust Welcome to the World Wide Web home of The Clinton Legal Expense Trust, the fund established to enable Americans to help defray the financial burden of legal fees facing the PresMert and ^ Lady...

...All those months, when the President was successfully turning the tades on d' slow movin Judge Starr ami ^ to make him out to be the bad guy, he did that on your dime...

...It's time to (tig deep once again...

...This week we are fortunate to have a message from the true "chief law enforcement officer of tlie Umted StateC Ms...

...But now my friends, it is a new day...

...For almost a year your President needed that fuel to run the obstruction engine that allowed him to evade earty retirement" and a twilight existence as Tyson Foods' official greeter...

...But I'm sure you won t rnmd it at all To me a fat cat is just about the dearest, coziest thing I can think of...

...Yes you are...

...down for a second 10 gran^ that is 20 grand per couple'' It's a lot, I know, but, hey, do it for the "big fella," will ya...

...Their names are Jeremiah Fuzzbudget and m...

...And just like obstruction of justice and suborning perJury, just like witness tampering—contempt of court does not come cheap...

...Sincerely, Janet Reno United States Attorney General...

...I guess it s no that for the whole second term he's been ticked off at me over all those Meperntem Counsels I was pressured mto appointing (Also, I wouldn't "get friendly" in the elevator after someone got "R°man fi^ on a certain state occasion...

...Remember, I had afront row seat back in the heady days of the Lewinsky investigation when the President was a-dodgin and a-weavin' and hanging tough...

...Maybe that's because 1 am the owner of a couple of corpulent felines myself...