PARODY
Parody All NYPD cops will soon carry cards instructing them how to be polite to the public as part of the department's efforts to ease tensions in the wake of the Amadou Diallo shooting. New York...
...I agree...
...You know excessive flushing is really bad for the pipes...
...Since you've reached inside your pocket, would you mind if we unloaded our revolvers into your abdomen...
...Would you mind backing your taxi up a few feet...
...New York Post April 7, 1999 New York Police Department Office of Manners and Etiquette Please keep this document in your possession at all times...
...I didn't arrest anyone during the Columbia Sit-In in '68...
...I didn't want to finish that Quarter-Pounder anyway...
...While Granting an Interview to the New York Times "No it couldn't have been me...
...But continued driving on the sidewalk may present a public hazard...
...How are you?.....Actually, what you suggest is anatomically impossible.But if it were it would certainly reduce the need for sexual partners...
...Sharpton...
...The following phrases will be used by officers in the performan? of their duties: While Protecting a Political Rally . . "Good Morning, Rev...
...If these were jackboots, they w°uW g° a little higher up my calf...
...I'am afraid you are mistaken...
...The military has a similar system of marking, as you may have seen in Saving Private Ryan...
...Furthermore, I've always supported your country s right to test and deploy weapons of mass destruction...
...While Directing Traffic "I'm sorry to disturb you...
...We can come back later...
...While Raiding a Crack House "Oh, I'm sorry...
...Be my guest, Reverend...
...Are you busy...
...I realize driving a taxi is a difficult job...
...Actually, these stripes on my sleeve are not strictly for decoration...
...Your muffler has pinned my ribcage to the pavement...
...I w|11 get right on it...
...Ttey indicate rank...
...The panhandling situation around Zabar's is getting out of hand...
Vol. 4 • April 1999 • No. 29
