PARODY
Parody Form 772-A Washington, DC APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENTIAL PARDON 1999 CHRISTMAS PROGRAM Name:Linda Tripp Day / Month:1 December Year:1999 Place of Incarceration:Federal Corrections...
...How I got swept into the vortex of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy I already explained in my statement at Ken Starr’s sentencing hearing (see attachment...
...Here in “stir” I’ve had lots of time to reflect on my despicable betrayal of my friend Monica, and on the many serious crimes that led to such pain for our country...
...I also think that maybe I was still grieving a little for Vince back then...
...Come to think of it, you’ve been right about nearly everything...
...He just kept muttering some...
...Back when Monica and I used to gossip for hours on the phone about the (non-sexual) relationship you guys had, and about her (truthful) affidavit and your (coincidental) job efforts, you’ll remember I always encouraged her to think big...
...I’m going just a little “nutsy,” I don’t mind saying...
...Linda Tripp (FI#:769533950-02) P.S...
...various federal conspiracy charges Sentence:One to three years Time Served at Xmas:8 months Sponsor:Sidney Blumenthal, U.S...
...Ha-ha), I’m aware that you must take a stern view of criminals like myself when the truth about them is established in court...
...Whenever the screws and “Large Marge” (who shotguns the remote) let me watch Monica on The View, I always feel it’s well worth the two cartons of Luckies...
...I’m so happy that Barbara Walters saw her potential...
...Jordan and everybody, and for the umpteenth time I am just SO-O-O sorry...
...Believe me, I know that I caused beaucoup trouble for you and Mr...
...G early in Y2K...
...I hereby “swear” that no consideration has been given for this pardon...
...Anyhoo, as the chief law enforcement officer of our country (although not specifically designated as such...
...BTW, you were so right when you said it gets easier the more you do it...
...And she always tried to get me—old Ms...
...As a wise man once said, “What is truth...
...Attny...
...This morning saw Ken S in the chowline...
...But as I told Mr...
...I think now we can both say: “Freakin’ Amen to that...
...Parody Form 772-A Washington, DC APPLICATION FOR PRESIDENTIAL PARDON 1999 CHRISTMAS PROGRAM Name:Linda Tripp Day / Month:1 December Year:1999 Place of Incarceration:Federal Corrections Institution, Cumberland, Md...
...I know that you can “feel my pain” there, right...
...No, everything...
...B (AG), I’ll be up in NH for Mr...
...General Type Plea Here: Dear President Clinton, please, please, puh-leeze get me outta here by Christmas...
...Stubborn—to bow to the inevitable...
...Out of the mouths of, well, “Babes,” I guess...
...She’s so much better than that Debbie Mate-whositz...
...Convictions: Aggravated non-consensual taping in the first degree...
...But mercy is what I am into now, not the so-called truth...
Vol. 4 • January 1999 • No. 18
