PARODY
Parody Inspired by the release of the Tripp-Lewinsky tapes, the National Archives has made public some of the less political conversations contained in the Nixon-era Watergate tapes. Oval...
...I was gonna use platinum Ehrlichman: Oh, I hate platinum...
...Archibald Cox's crew cut is too platinum...
...It was getting too gray, so I had them mix this lovely shade they can Wmte^s wm...
...That's a really funny word...
...You kn°w, very "King and I...
...Magruder: You're just a president who loves too mucli, Mr- Pre^en^ He's not worth it-There are other counsels at the barNixon: You know what I said when he told me there was a cancer on the presidency...
...Liddy: I'm afraid I can't, John...
...Garment: You should have called him Putzhead...
...I just can't take it anymore- I gave John Dean the best years of my presidency and look what he does- Testifies...
...He's the one who told me not to wear wingtips when I'm photographed...
...Garment: Does the sea water seep through the little holes...
...Just hang rigte up...
...I've just set my hand on fire...
...Could you pass me one...
...Haldeman: Really...
...And I walked straight out into the Rose Garden...
...Nixon (weeping): I just can't take it anymore...
...Ehrlichman: Bob...
...Ehrlichman: Excuse me, Gordon, are there any Sweet 'N Lows over there...
...Liddy: I was thinking of shaving my head completely...
...I had it Mghlighted...
...They contrasted nicely with your calves, Mr...
...Ehrlichman: Trust me, you want to leave a little fuzz around the side, the way I have it-It sort of frames the head that way...
...You really think it's cute...
...Haldeman: You go, girl...
...walking on the beach...
...I love what you've done with your crew cut- It's so cute...
...Nixon: If he tried to call, I'd hang up on him...
...Magruder, G. Liddy, L. Garment 10:12 a.m...
...Oval Office March 3, 1974 Meeting of the President with Advisers: R. Haldeman, J. Elirlidnmn, J.S...
...I said* "I love you, Butthead...
...I hate that-On you it would be totally wrong...
...President...
...Magruder: Wingtips look really good on the beach...
Vol. 4 • November 1998 • No. 12
