My Taxicab Confession
_Casual My Taxicab Confession We should have noticed something was up when a call to Yellow Cab from my friend Tracy's apartment brought a Checker cab to her doorstep. Since when are the Yellow...
...Collectively, we'd get $500, and the cab ride was free...
...One year," I said...
...he asked...
...Before long the questions started getting more personal: "Are you all single...
...he asked...
...It won't cost you any more," he reassured us...
...But what about the rest of us...
...He was certain they would love to use my story...
...At every point in the story, the curious cabbie plied me with questions...
...She eloped," Kelly volunteered on my behalf...
...all four of us would have to squeeze into the back...
...he exclaimed...
...Since when are the Yellow and Checker guys even on speaking terms...
...You see, we had been engaged for a while, and then briefly disengaged...
...Happy...
...While I was struggling with the temptations of fleeting fame, out of nowhere (actually, out of a car that had been tailing us all the way) came Amber, HBO's producer...
...This was for real, and I had been duped...
...Europe seemed like a romantic spot and so we were off...
...Very," I said...
...What did he say to you in the airport...
...By then my husband was manning the phones, and her powers of persuasion got her nowhere...
...It is a good story, I have to admit, and friends are always pumping me to retell it...
...You eloped...
...That's so cool...
...In fact, we could all be on TV if I would just sign this release...
...It all clicked—the "security lights," the "broken front seat...
...Yes, the story may be romantic, but on reflection I found that I really did not want to join the undignified ranks of the talk-show freaks haunting the sets of Sally, Oprah, Maury, and all the rest...
...Tracy did question the cab driver's rather erratic navigational skills...
...Hey, there's the hidden camera," cleverly concealed by a cheesy flower decal...
...So we ended up returning after a lovely, hectic weekend to the courthouse in Leesburg, Va.—about ten minutes away from our starting point at Dulles—where the only thing we had to do to get married was swear that we weren't brother and sister...
...Oh, just my own security system, I don't want someone sneaking up on me in the dark," said the cabbie, who was quick to prompt a conversation...
...Who said I ever wanted to be discovered telling all on HBO...
...How long have you been married...
...Tell him the story," Tracy chimed in...
...Caught up in telling all, I didn't realize we were driving all over Washington in a very roundabout route to our destination...
...We all laughed nervously...
...How did you feel when that happened...
...These days we talk so much about the invasion of privacy visited on the rich and famous...
...Not this one," Tracy declared as she pointed to me...
...As the cab pulled away, I noticed that the interior was awash in bright fluorescent lights radiating from above the front window...
...Out for a big night on the town...
...Of course, we knew nothing of "posting banns," the English version of a two-week waiting period, which did complicate matters...
...She popped up in the window and began to plead with me...
...We happily piled in, noisy, jostling, and giggling...
...Sure enough, Sunday afternoon Amber called...
...It is such a romantic story," she sighed dramatically...
...The front seat was broken, so we were told by the handsome, young, black cab driver...
...he prodded...
...But, then, headed out for a night on the town with the girls—Tracy, Kelly, Kerry, and me—who pays attention to details...
...For a split second, as I looked at my starry-eyed friends, I thought that maybe this wasn't so bad...
...Don't you want 5 million people hear it...
...But wait...
...I asked...
...So the alleged 5 million viewers will miss out on at least one honest story dishonestly obtained...
...Who cares, I love good stories," said the cabbie...
...I described how my husband's and my romantic adventure began when we crossed paths with each other at Dulles airport...
...Could this guy be a kook...
...We were too late for a transatlantic flight from Dulles so we cabbed to National, flew to JFK, cabbed to La Guardia, and just barely caught the last plane to London...
...Purses were opening when our friendly cabbie turned around and calmly started reciting a prepared script: He was working with HBO on a "documentary" series called Taxicab Confessions...
...Of course," we responded...
...They finally let me go when I promised to consider the offer overnight...
...So what's with the crazy bright lights...
...Then Kelly pointed to the front window...
...Just as I had gotten through the grand finale, we arrived...
...So over a late-day airport drink, Eric proposed that we forget about engagements and just elope instead...
...And truth be told, I do love retelling it...
...No no, it's such a long story," I protested...
...Maybe we would be discovered...
...Jennifer L. Felten...
Vol. 3 • October 1997 • No. 4
