PARODY

Parody CNN reporter Peter Arnett offers to go to Vietnam in a desperate effort to find evidence to back up his story that the U.S. used nerve gas there in 1970. —News item NewsStand: CNN &...

...So to sum up, this is going to be a fantastic relationship...
...I promise...
...So I suggest you focus your laser-like attention on doing pre-reportedbits for “Talk Back Live,” and we will call you the very next time we think we should worktogether on a story...
...Nowthat we are colleagues (we here at TIMEprefer the word “colleagues” to “comrades”), we aregoing to have to merge our methodologies...
...We here at TIMEare thrilled tohave you guys on board...
...As for your offer to go to Vietnam to find evidence of U.S...
...That way we can try to determine if it is true prior to publication...
...Together, we truly will be “thenews leader...
...As Rick Kaplan noted when we allhad lunch the other day (thanks for your war stories—I’ve never seen 7 hours go by so quickly),CNNbrings a lot to the table in our relationship...
...As for your proposal to co-produce a series of documentaries with Pierre Salinger, that certain-ly is intriguing—and, no, I’ve never really looked into the connection between the CIA and the“Bridge Freezes Before Road Surface” phenomenon...
...News item NewsStand: CNN & TIME Never Boring, Sometimes Accurate Memo From: Walter Isaacson/TiME To: Peter Arnett/CNN Thanks so much for your note with all those story ideas...
...nerve-gas use, I think this illustratessome of the teeny-weeny cultural differences we’re going to have to work through to make thisTV-print partnership work...
...But I think we’ll pass, as we will on your“The Kurds Had it Coming” idea, despite your no doubt excellent connections to the highestlevels of the Iraqi government...
...and I haven’t been able to focus on muchelse...
...For example, in print journalism the fact that youheard a rumor from both Ted Turner and Jane Fonda doesn’t count as double-sourcing...
...I’ve been really busy recently planning the seating arrangements for TIME’s 100thbirthday party (it’s March 9, 2023—save the date...
...I’m thrilled also that you’ve formed such a close working relation-ship with producer April Oliver, but I think you might mention to her that we stodgy folks inthe print media tend not to accept the following phenomena as libel-proof evidence: recoveredmemories, channeling, Ouija boards, tea-leaf reading, cat-gut reading, reincarnation testimony,and voodoo-induced free association...
...Before I get to your specific proposals, I just want to reiterate that I believe the relationshipbetween TIMEand CNNis just going to work out wonderfully...
...It has a loyal following among Rahm Emanuel,Sidney Blumenthal, Ann Lewis, and literally dozens of others...
...Sorry it’s taken me a few days to getback to you...
...You see, here in the print world, we tend to report the story before wepublish it, not afterwards...

Vol. 3 • July 1998 • No. 42


 
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