Parody
“I was there at the beginning, I kissed that girl’s inner thighs when she was six days old.” —Monica Lewinsky’s lawyer William Ginsburg, on his relationship with his client. Quoted in Time, March...
...It’s 2:00 a.m...
...But maybe he didn’t...
...Don’t cry for me Argentina...
...He laughed when I confided that every morning I floss to Gershwin tunes...
...That was cool...
...Damn, it’s still only 2:10...
...His last name suggests he is half Irish, half Indian...
...What’s the point of having a 24-hour news network if these people won’t pick up their phone...
...Her parents turned off the video camera when I did it...
...Schmucko...
...I call Judy Woodstock Woodruff...
...Love Will Keep Us Together...
...I’m the lone wolf...
...Why does Ken Starr remind me of a penguin...
...It wasn’t so long ago he was taking me to basketball games...
...The Captain is a misogynist if he mistreated Tenille...
...Are they smiling in Jerusalem...
...Why won’t Tom Snyder answer his pager...
...Sometimes I think I should quit the law, but then again I need the legal pads...
...You say hello...
...Quoted in Time, March 2, 1998 The following is a facsimile copy of a page from the private notebooks of William Ginsburg...
...March 10, 1998 I’m having trouble sleeping again...
...Yet I saw him on Inside Politics wearing that tie I gave him...
...Now it seems to him I was just another talking head...
...Some say no...
...I remember when he used to call me...
...Some say yes...
...How can she desert me...
...Who can say what is normal and abnormal in this world...
...Mike McCurry doesn’t call me much either...
...But it’s Wolf Blitzer that tees me off the most...
...Muskrat Love...
...These reporters wouldn’t even be able to hound us properly if I didn’t constantly tip them off...
...Maybe Tenille was born without a first name...
...And he’s the guilty one...
...My fundraising appeal has not yielded much revenue...
...I don’t know why his name is Wolf...
...Monica’s father doesn’t make as much as I thought from his company, House o’ Tumor...
...I kissed her armpits when she was three weeks old...
...That haunts me...
...Ooowwwww...
...I am woman, hear me roar...
...I should have suspected my copy of Piagt Piaget was bogus when I saw it had a centerfold...
...Who can say what is true or not true...
...Now he never calls...
...I am beyond linear thinking...
...I howl at the moon...
...The creep...
...Or maybe he isn’t...
...Monica won’t be awake for another six hours...
...She seems to have changed her number...
...I say goodbye...
...This page is reproduced in Ginsburg: The Pre-Institutionalization Years (Harvard Medical School Press, 3 Vols., 2007...
...Certainly not me...
...I watch reruns of myself on Charles Grodin...
...The Captain and Tenille never got the respect they deserved...
...Why am I only invited to studios during the daytime...
...Clinton has a defense fund...
Vol. 3 • March 1998 • No. 25
