Parody
"I've learned a great deal about empathy.... I've learned to recognize the feelings in myself." —Al Gore, on what he has learned from Bill Clinton TRANSCRIPT TYPE: Fund-raising phone call:...
...I am a Master of the Universe...
...I can now admit it when I feel ^mmM...
...I have succeeded...
...Good morning, this is a1, the Vice President- l-feel a great outpouring of love whenever I speak to millionaires] . ^ally nice to talk to you on such a fine spring morning...
...But what would Bil1 do in this circumstance, what would Bill feel...
...You're a great American...
...I feel my own sap rising in the spring warmth- 1 now see that serving with Bill has allowed me to explore my sensual being-] •¦¦ Yes, that was a wonderful time we had together on the trail last fal1 [The warm glow of friendship overwhelms me...
...I wonder if there are any young female government employees nearby?] "Sure, I'd love to get together...
...I can nanws a battleship after him- We can seize half of Utah and dedicate it in his h°n°r...
...Their birthday presents were always so stingy...
...Your $100,000 wil1 be put to gooI use Trust me...
...I feel the delicious pleasure of greed- Greed is a delight...
...I have completed the task of this callh t feel good about myself...
...Yes, I feel power...
...The next time I see Paul I wi11 insis,: we break down the macho barriers that separate us- We wil1 strip to our shorts, embrace, and weep over the things vre never said to our fathers-] d "Listen, Paul, the reason I'm calling is that the President and I neea your help...
...Greed is good...
...I am invincible!] Good- glad to hear you wi n gomd through for us...
...I feel annoyed...
...Sm:^ breaking every campaignfinance law in the book, but no one wil1 ever touch me-] "Bys^ now...
...I am strong...
...The thought of 25 lion Christian Coalition voter guides makes me afraid- It brings out the weakness I felt as a child...
...It must be beautiful there in Palm Springs with the desert flow^s Moonuncj and sap coursing through the palm trees...
...Why is this creep stil1 bothering me?3 I'voe to fly out to a Buddhist temple tomorrow for a fund-raiser- [I feel up to thn-task too...
...And don't think the President and I cioii't: have ways to show gra^ tude We do...
...I see that new...
...Lying is a form of self-empowerment- I feel I am doing it for the greater good of the country.] But what we really neon right now is something more in the nature of financial support- A contribution of $100,000 would really mean a lot to us- [It would- I see that now;.If " gave me 100 G I would love him like a brother- I feel the emotion welling in my breast....] Yes I know business has been tough- But $25,000 really wouldn't get the job done...
...I feel my power- Hear me roar...
...I feel that I am lying- But strangelv I do not love myself any less...
...Yes, of course Bill and I would be glad to get your ideas- Your intellectual input has always been very important to us...
...Hillary was right-] "Well, $50,000 is better, but it's still not enough- Think of your coti try...
...We really must have $100,000- [I feel the lust_for money stirring in my loins...
...Don't forget to send that check...
...Al Gore, on what he has learned from Bill Clinton TRANSCRIPT TYPE: Fund-raising phone call: External sound recording annotated with internal Gore dial°gue LOCATION: Office of the Vics= president DATE: April 28, 1996 THE VICE PRESIDENT: "Paul...
...Why were the bellhops at the Fairfax Hotel rtmyf so mean to me...
...But I'm afraid be busy for the neot few months...
Vol. 3 • September 1997 • No. 1
