Parody

"Rostenkowski has his House pension, $104,000 a year, and friends say he will not have trouble finding work while on probation." —The New York Times Rosty to Heal Campaign Finance Prole Reno...

...The New York Times Rosty to Heal Campaign Finance Prole Reno Changes Course, Seeks Independent Counsel By Roberto Suro Washington Post Sta« Writer Amid mounting evidence of White House involvement...
...Former congressman Dan Ros-tenkowski will lead the inquiry "He is the right man for the job...
...At the White Housed, the mood has been one of studied nonchalance...
...Among stationers-, landscapers, and automobile dealers, however, there was jubilation as the news of Rostenkowski's See ROSTY, A4, Col.4...
...According to Justice Department sources, Rostenkowski's name came to mind almost immediately because it was inscribed on numerous armchairs, crystal figurines, and commemorative dinner plates he had sent to the attorney general and her aides over the years...
...She is said to have reversed her position after the revelations from another set of White House videotapes, misfited in the president's "Smokey and The Bandit" collection...
...Reaction to the appointment has been mixed...
...He has an extraordinary record," the attorney general said of the former 18-term congressman from Cook County, Illinois, who once chaired the House Ways and Means Committee...
...As independent counsel, Ros-tenkowski will have a virtually unlimited budget and staff to pursue the possible misuse of functe by the Clinton campaign...
...m poh'ti-cal fundraising during the 1996 presidential campaign, Attorney General Janet Reno has requested the appointment of an independent counsel to investigate possible wrongdoing...
...Rostenkowski, an avid stamp collector, left office hi 1994 to pursue other interests...
...Reached at his family's insurance agency on the North Side of Chicago, from which the Office °f the Independent Counsel will lease office space, Rostenkowski vowede that the investigation would be sweeping and thorough...
...Uncle Danny is going to do a great job," said his newly mred chief investigator...
...If they lead to Pebble Beach or the Florida Key^ well, then, so be it...
...I will personally follow the facts of this case wherever they lead," he told reporters...
...Reno's decision came as a surprise to many who have watched her fend off repeated calls for an independent counsel...
...The decision represents a major about-face for Reno, who had earlier insisted that no independent counsel was needed...

Vol. 3 • November 1997 • No. 10


 
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