Parody
Parody Reed tries for more endorsements By Ralph Z. Hallow THE WASHINGTON TIMES Undaunted by the failure of his outreach to Ross Perot and vowing to do "anything that will help Bob Dole get...
...Reed's failure to do so led Browne, in a speech at the Cato Institute, to denounce him as "an illiterate statist...
...Elizabeth's overnight for observation...
...If he had managed to levitate, or disappear, then I would have considered it a sign to drop out," Hagelin said...
...Reed first spent an hour meditating with Natural Law Party candidate John Hagelin...
...Or go back to Indonesia where you came from...
...Bargaining hard, Paulsen insisted on a commitment that the Smothers Brothers would also receive cabinet-level appointments...
...Browne asked Reed to recite, from memory, the concluding 94-page speech by the character John Galt in Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged...
...Reed's visit with Harry Browne of the Libertarian Party went no better...
...Reed found a modicum of success when he met with Pat Paulsen, the comedian and perennial joke candidate for the presidency...
...Drop out...
...Paulsen demurred until Reed offered him the post of secretary of state in the Dole administration...
...Parody Reed tries for more endorsements By Ralph Z. Hallow THE WASHINGTON TIMES Undaunted by the failure of his outreach to Ross Perot and vowing to do "anything that will help Bob Dole get elected, no matter how personally degrading I may find it," Dole campaign manager Scott Reed set out on a whirlwind day of meetings with the presidential candidates of other parties...
...At day's end, Reed was taken into custody when he arrived unannounced at the White House gate and refused to leave until he could see Bill Clinton...
...he said in a sparsely attended speech in his hometown of Russell, Kansas...
...Dole expressed his frustration with the day's events, and lashed out at the other candidates: "Wake up...
...He's got to drop out, he's just got to," Reed said, weeping, as he was taken to St...
...As it is, I think I stand a pretty good chance of beating Dole in Key West...
...Tommy Smothers will be a great CIA director," Paulsen said...
...Ralph Nader of the Green Party skipped the meeting and went directly to the National Press Club, where he gave a speech describing Reed as a "tool of corporate interests, when what we really need is a tool of the trial lawyers...
...Reed agreed, and in a speech at the National Press Club, Paulsen declared his support for Dole...
...Upon leaving Dole headquarters, Reed had been hopeful that he would gain Hagelin's support for Dole, but his inability to achieve higher consciousness led Hagelin to declare the encounter "bad karma" in a speech at the Maharishi Vedic University...
Vol. 2 • November 1996 • No. 8
