Derek Richardson Returns
Derek Richardson Returns Even at a downtown intersection at 8:45 in the morning, I recognized the man the moment he rapped on my car window. He was wearing a tweed sport coat with leather patches...
...Maybe you can get some solid answers out of him...
...he asked as we pulled up to the curb...
...At the time, he called himself Derek Richardson...
...His father, a retired Foreign Service officer, answered the phone...
...he asked as we inched along through rush-hour traffic in search of a cash machine...
...Sure does, I said...
...We don't see him very often," Cohen's father said wearily...
...It wasn't the first time he'd gotten off lightly...
...He was wearing a tweed sport coat with leather patches on the elbows and a rep stripe tie...
...You gave it to him...
...Get in...
...I didn't have high hopes...
...It doesn't matter whether he said he was Bill Clinton or Uncle Sam...
...He was still Derek Richardson, still just in from Bonn...
...Lots of other people must have, too, because 18 months later, the guy hadn't changed a single word...
...It was a pretty good story...
...People are so cold-hearted," he said...
...He didn't...
...Tucker Carlson...
...What are we doing here...
...He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the squad car...
...I don't know anything about it," he said when I told him about Derek Richardson...
...Doesn't Mort Kondracke work at the Standard...
...Cohen, according to court records I found later, has been convicted of all sorts of crimes over the past 10 years, including possession of narcotics, theft, and at least three counts of forgery...
...Looking at his record, I became even more determined to get my money back...
...Nor, it became clear the longer I looked at him, was he a late-for-work lawyer...
...But I couldn't control myself...
...A local cop finally showed up, and I explained what had happened...
...This guy stole money from me," I yelled as passersby looked on confused...
...He had a bulky ring of keys in his hand, and he looked frustrated and impatient, like a late-for-work lawyer...
...I'm not discouraged, though...
...Can you help me...
...There's nothing criminal here," he said...
...Before he left, Cohen had given the police his home phone number...
...The only thing I can do is wait till he gets in touch with me and ask him to call you back...
...Where do you work...
...I must have come off as a bit too enthusiastic, because he hesitated for a second before opening the door...
...He promised to repay the money the second he got back to his job at the "Foreign Service School in Bonn, Germany...
...I'll try you back later...
...I'm calling from a pay phone...
...Oh," I said, "there's a great cash machine in this building," pointing to the headquarters of the American Association of University Women...
...You gave him the money...
...He didn't do anything fraudulent...
...Within moments I was out of the car and making a scene...
...Squinting in the sunlight, chain-smoking Marlboros and shaking, Cohen looked a lot like a junkie...
...One afternoon, I dialed it...
...He was as personable as ever...
...He needed $48 to get it back, he said, and could I help him...
...He said he had been on vacation in Washington for only a few hours when his car was carted off by the city's overzealous parking police...
...I'd been waiting a year and a half for this moment, ever since the first time this guy approached me at a red light and asked for money...
...And, of course, he still needed $48...
...That was more than three months ago, and I'm still waiting for the call...
...My car's been towed...
...I don't have your address to send the money to...
...You know, you're the first person...
...But about a week later, I got a message from Cohen on my answering machine...
...Cool," he said...
...He's served some time, but not much...
...Then he walked away...
...The Secret Service agents scrambled over, and the four of us spent the next half an hour on the sidewalk waiting for the District police to arrive...
...I wrote it down on my hand as he spoke...
...Great guy, too...
...By the time I spotted a car of uniformed Secret Service agents parked a block from my office, Derek and I were chatting like old friends...
...I couldn't suppress a grin...
...Washington, it turns out, really is a small town...
...I fell for it, at least...
...Hello, Tucker," he said, sounding not at all like a drug-addicted con man, "this is Jeffrey Cohen...
...Actually, it was obvious the news didn't come as a shock at all, but as another sad reminder of what had become of his son...
...The cop snorted dismis-sively...
...Cohen looked at me and smiled...
...Somehow I know I'll see Jeffrey A. Cohen again...
...This is not a police matter...
...he asked...
...We can get tons of money out of it...
...It comes as kind of a shock...
...Love to," I said...
...I found out pretty fast that the man's name was not Derek Richardson...
...I told him, and he nodded knowingly...
...According to the driver's license he produced, he was Jeffrey A. Cohen, a 36-year-old resident of Springfield, Virginia...
Vol. 2 • August 1997 • No. 46
